maskormods: (⒌)
mask or menace mods ([personal profile] maskormods) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2015-09-10 05:45 pm

THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2015

THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2015
SUPERNATURAL CRITTERS have been spotted along the eastern seaboard, but especially nearer the associated imPort cities. Maybe you've seen that BlueTube video of little Jimmy riding the Loch Ness Monster? Or the on-camera meltdown of the really pissed off weathermen justifying sharknadoes via the improbability of magic? Surely you've seen Cottoneye Beau, wildlife expert, teach kiddos about the safety of JAWS? You know: JUST (be) AWARE (that) WHAT (the hell that's a damn) SHARK!? You might not have been able to catch the full glory, as Cottoneye Beau's television show was quickly cancelled by NBSea. He ended his finale by leaping into the ocean, inexplicably to music. Good television watching, boy howdy, that's for sure! Gives those reality shows a run for their money, doesn't it? But then again, why obsess over ratings (or lack thereof) -- maybe you don't give a Puck?

JUMPED THE SHARK
DVD sales of Tsharknami are going through the ROOF. And then that roof caught fire. How often can magic be blamed, really? Is this not all but some human foible at play?

No?

SNITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY
A $250,000 reward (paid full, in cash, and without tricksy taxes) for any USEFUL information about the whereabouts of one Doctor Jonathan Crane has been posted as of 9.10.15. Contact any government official with tips.

JIMMY FELL DOWN THE WELL
The following will be seen on BlueTube:
Jimmy got swallowed by the Loch Ness monster in his encore internet sensation video. Hubris is the ruin of humanity.

BRUSH UP YOUR SHAKESPEARE
The following will be seen in local morning show stations and UStube:
Professor Sanderson Squire II, Shakespearean Expert and tenured professor at De Chima University, has repeatedly given criticism on what he believes to be an elongated Banksy-esque performance art piece reference A Midsummer Night's Dream and lysergic acid diethylamide.

RUMOR HAS IT
The following will be seen in local tabloids:
A new superhero team is brewing! Rumor has it that a buxom blonde is leading the charge. Who could this be?? What sort of SOCIETY-inclined members could be ushering in a new kind of JUSTICE?

FOR AN ENCHANTING TIME CALL
The following will be seen in two ways: the offer to learn magic is printed on posters put up around imPort housing in the porter cities. Above each one is a small magical light, providing enough illumination to read the poster at night.

The offer of hired magic is printed in newspapers of the four porter cities as a small advertisement.

Are you an imPort? Are you sane and responsible with the use of your powers? Would you like to learn magic? Contact Sabriel and ask for an interview.

Mage for hire. Warding, enchantment, and miscellaneous spells at reasonable rates. No seances, necromancy, or love spells. Contact Sabriel at (phone number) for rates and other information.

INSERT HOMER SIMPSON SOUND EFFECT
Starting 9.13.15, FUNKIN' DONUTS (the musically-inclined donut shop chain located in Heropa, De Chima, and Nonah) will be selling FAUXNUTS. These are made-to-order donuts in the shape and likeness of imPort faces. Made-to-order, MADE-TO-EAT!

HOVER OVER, DROP DOWN BOX
The following will be seen in tabloid newspapers:
On 9.15.15 and 9.16.15, EVERY hovering device (cars, scooters, skateboards, etc) will cease to work. You might get a sputter, you might float a few feet, but inevitably gravity will shake you back down to earth. This will, strangely, NOT be reported on in legitimate newspapers.

HOT POCKET
The following will be on loop over every news television station:
At 0600 GMT on 9.16.15, USSR troops will march to the border between Finland and Russia and begin building what appears to be a wall. The US President will declare this an act of aggression, though some will call it passive-aggression.

COLOR BLINDNESS
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from RED to MAGENTA in response to the De Chima attack.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
mathemagier: are you hitting on me (Does not compute)

[personal profile] mathemagier 2015-09-11 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Orange and Red were somewhat understandable, but what on earth is Magenta supposed to mean? Descriptors would be appreciated.
superposition: ((the implications))

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe they switched from RGB to CMYK while we weren't looking.
mathemagier: intensely doesn't care (Zero fucks)

[personal profile] mathemagier 2015-09-11 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, and next it'll be Key. Ridiculous.
superposition: (So what difference does it make?)

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly. Anyway, why bother having a state above red in the first place? What criteria are they using, if any? The system always was a little arbitrary. Unless Magenta means they're instituting martial law or something, I wouldn't put too much weight on it.
mathemagier: points aggressively (Chaos parka)

[personal profile] mathemagier 2015-09-11 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. Red obviously meant danger, whereas Magenta feels like a warning against stepping outside. Which if that's the case, a more comprehensive advisory should be in place. Not that it shouldn't already. How meaningless.
driftsintobuffetline: (what?)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
Even if these are DEFCON equivalent kind of labels, what kind of advisory do you expect? NUKES ARE HOT. WE'RE GOING TO TURN THE KEY.??
mathemagier: grrroupie (Wrong)

[personal profile] mathemagier 2015-09-11 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
There are armed hostiles patrolling the area, take precautions.

Which is what the current color coding seems to suggest. Alarming to say the least, but informative. Except of course, we don't actually know, because we have no real information beyond an ambiguous scale.
driftsintobuffetline: (ok...)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
Naive Hermann expecting them to warn us about such things. Oh, you sweet summer child.

We need our own scale.
mathemagier: stop and go (Red light)

[personal profile] mathemagier 2015-09-11 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, heaven forbid we have proper warnings.
driftsintobuffetline: (what?)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Here I was just thinking they were going with Roy G. Biv, but you're right. No magenta there.
superposition: ((what are we talking about?))

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
I'm just curious why they didn't go with Black. That's about the only code universally more dire than Red, unless you work in a hospital.
driftsintobuffetline: (dramatic lighting)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe this is still small potatoes for them. Maybe we haven't yet seen something worthy of Black.
Edited 2015-09-11 03:07 (UTC)
superposition: ((crossed arms))

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
... Good point. [It certainly isn't Kaiju or the Plutonian.]
driftsintobuffetline: (trying to explain)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Oh! And if I recall correctly I think DEFCON 1 level is White, actually.

Just trivia. Not like it matters.
superposition: ((william hartnell eat your heart out))

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
Well, DEFCON's a whole different system. That's military readiness and threat of nuclear war. The HSAS is the color-coded one, it's the terrorism advisory. At least back home it is - maybe it's got some additional meaning here. I don't remember it having a magenta there, that's for sure.
driftsintobuffetline: (oh shi-)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, yeah. Honestly, I can barely remember back that far. I remember 9-11 and the marathon...and then it was all Kaiju.
superposition: ((walk between worlds))

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
[... Huh. He does not remember anything major that was marathon-related.]

When did they start showing up, out of curiosity?
mathemagier: sit down shut up and listen (Science bros)

[personal profile] mathemagier 2015-09-11 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
August 10, 2013. K-Day.
superposition: (And yet you start to recoil)

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
... So that means you two and Mako are from the 2020s.

[He actually sounds genuinely surprised to learn this. It's a detail he kind of neglected to consider. stupid time travel]

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 05:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 05:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 05:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 05:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 05:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 05:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 05:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 05:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 06:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 06:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 06:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 06:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 03:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 04:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 04:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 04:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 04:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 05:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 05:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 05:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-11 05:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 06:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 06:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 06:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 06:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 07:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 20:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 20:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 20:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 20:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-12 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-12 03:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-12 17:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 05:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 05:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 05:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 06:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 06:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 06:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 07:09 (UTC) - Expand
driftsintobuffetline: (trying to explain)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
August 10th, 2013: Trespasser. San Fransisco.

By now, in my world, we would have several Jaeger in development, ready to be launched. I think most of them were matched to pilots and serving by December.

Wow, I wander away for two seconds and Hermann steals my thunder.
Edited 2015-09-11 05:30 (UTC)
superposition: (And why?)

[personal profile] superposition 2015-09-11 06:56 am (UTC)(link)
All that just two years after the attack? That's ridiculously fast.

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-11 07:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-11 20:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 03:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 04:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 04:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 04:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 04:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 04:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 04:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-12 05:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 05:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-12 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mathemagier - 2015-09-12 05:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-12 17:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline - 2015-09-12 18:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] superposition - 2015-09-12 22:21 (UTC) - Expand
crapbearer: (yosuke with his arms up dot png)

[personal profile] crapbearer 2015-09-11 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
Threat Level: Someone's Grandma
mathemagier: fuck the color blue (Srs worktime)

[personal profile] mathemagier 2015-09-11 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, thank you.
driftsintobuffetline: (yakkity yak)

[personal profile] driftsintobuffetline 2015-09-11 06:33 am (UTC)(link)
Threat Level: Red Ridinghood's Grandma (who is actually the wolf)
crapbearer: (counting)

[personal profile] crapbearer 2015-09-11 07:35 am (UTC)(link)
Threat Level: Sweaters from Grandma on Christmas