Ｔｈｅ Ｓｈａｄｅ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
foreshadower) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2016-08-27 11:11 pm
foreshadower) wrote in maskormenace2016-08-27 11:11 pm
Entry tags:
- harleen quinzel | harley quinn,
- † aerith gainsborough | the ancient,
- † aurican | what is a hero?,
- † daisy johnson | quake,
- † frederick chilton | chief of staff!!,
- † hartley rathaway | the pied piper,
- † hunter zolomon | zoom,
- † james jesse | the trickster,
- † james patrick march | the master,
- † kanaya maryam-lalonde | psychopomp,
- † karen starr | power girl,
- † klarion bleak | n/a,
- † leonard snart | captain cold,
- † marian hawke | andraste's mabari,
- † richard swift | the shade,
- † rincewind | n/a,
- † saitama | caped baldy,
- † sam merlotte | n/a
Video
[ As always, with Shade, it's Video.
And as always, he looks pretentious as hell, but this time, it's worse. ] Good evening, imports!
[ Says Shade, dressed in a dark smoking jacket, complete with a pipe, although his tophat and shades are still on. In the background, one can see a roaring fire -- in North Carolina no less -- and in the foreground, a small shadow gremlin stumbles around, bringing a both a glass of hazy green liquid (absinthe) and a paper, which Shade takes. ]
I'm the Shade, for those of you whom I haven't met, and I'm quite the fan of the written word.
Most of the time. [ He holds up the paper, labeled with a bold TMI -- the headline an image -- with a headline underneath: TMI EXCLUSIVE: REGGIE MANTLE CONFESSES - SEE WEBSITE FOR DETAILS ]
I thought I'd give this a go, as the reading seemed to hint that it would include too much information, but this may very well be... too much.
[ He cleared his throat, before he started. ]
Import Harleen Quinzel may not be a human import at all! The import was last seen turning into a -- my word, really? -- Harley Davidson motorcycle, and speeding down Formation Boulevard in Nonah this past Saturday. Some followers of imports pointed out that she may be a... Transformer -- [ He sounded bewildered: ] What is a... ah! -- an alien that is known to tranform from a robot into a vehicle.
[ A pause. ] Fascinating!
And the next one says... Saitama, the import known for packing quite the punch... [ He paused, eyes peering over his sunglasses while he read. His face becoming more and more horrified by the moment. ] ...is now starring in a...n.... X-rated video called "Three Fist Man"? [ Muttered under his breath: ] By erebus -- I don't think that's appropriate for the Sundays...
[ Gross. Maybe he should move on. But only after he reaches out to take a sip of his drink. ]
Ah! My friend Dorian! Apparently you've been rather naughty. [ He grinned. ] Caught in the sheets with Power Girl! My! And with an illegitimate child? Kara Danvers? [ A hand to his chest. ] Toby must be devastated, really. It appears that TMI reporters were able to locate an illicit exchange between the two, but there was no footage, but... the similarities between Ms. Danvers and Power Girl are rather striking, aren't they? [ A wave of his hand. ] Or is it coincidence? Who truly knows?
Ah! It appears that an import is to blame for the FBI's incompetence as well? Apparently a one Erik Lensherr was to blame for the FBI's entire database, which found itself wiped. Apparently the man is a living...magnet? Can that affect compuiters? Regardless, the FBI chose not to comment, and instead dismissed the intrepid TMI reporter as insane. Of course tthat's incorrect.
And lastly -- [ He's on the third page -- ] Import Frederick Chilton was found in the arms of his patient! How scandouls. James Patrick Marsh, hotel owner, was found with the Doctor on a sensuos lunch date, where the two were found laughing over... strawberries and créme. [ A thoughtful noise. ] How very romantic -- and clichéd. [ Another sip. ]
Isn't it fascinating, what things we've all been up to so far?
And as always, he looks pretentious as hell, but this time, it's worse. ] Good evening, imports!
[ Says Shade, dressed in a dark smoking jacket, complete with a pipe, although his tophat and shades are still on. In the background, one can see a roaring fire -- in North Carolina no less -- and in the foreground, a small shadow gremlin stumbles around, bringing a both a glass of hazy green liquid (absinthe) and a paper, which Shade takes. ]
I'm the Shade, for those of you whom I haven't met, and I'm quite the fan of the written word.
Most of the time. [ He holds up the paper, labeled with a bold TMI -- the headline an image -- with a headline underneath: TMI EXCLUSIVE: REGGIE MANTLE CONFESSES - SEE WEBSITE FOR DETAILS ]
I thought I'd give this a go, as the reading seemed to hint that it would include too much information, but this may very well be... too much.
[ He cleared his throat, before he started. ]
Import Harleen Quinzel may not be a human import at all! The import was last seen turning into a -- my word, really? -- Harley Davidson motorcycle, and speeding down Formation Boulevard in Nonah this past Saturday. Some followers of imports pointed out that she may be a... Transformer -- [ He sounded bewildered: ] What is a... ah! -- an alien that is known to tranform from a robot into a vehicle.
[ A pause. ] Fascinating!
And the next one says... Saitama, the import known for packing quite the punch... [ He paused, eyes peering over his sunglasses while he read. His face becoming more and more horrified by the moment. ] ...is now starring in a...n.... X-rated video called "Three Fist Man"? [ Muttered under his breath: ] By erebus -- I don't think that's appropriate for the Sundays...
[ Gross. Maybe he should move on. But only after he reaches out to take a sip of his drink. ]
Ah! My friend Dorian! Apparently you've been rather naughty. [ He grinned. ] Caught in the sheets with Power Girl! My! And with an illegitimate child? Kara Danvers? [ A hand to his chest. ] Toby must be devastated, really. It appears that TMI reporters were able to locate an illicit exchange between the two, but there was no footage, but... the similarities between Ms. Danvers and Power Girl are rather striking, aren't they? [ A wave of his hand. ] Or is it coincidence? Who truly knows?
Ah! It appears that an import is to blame for the FBI's incompetence as well? Apparently a one Erik Lensherr was to blame for the FBI's entire database, which found itself wiped. Apparently the man is a living...magnet? Can that affect compuiters? Regardless, the FBI chose not to comment, and instead dismissed the intrepid TMI reporter as insane. Of course tthat's incorrect.
And lastly -- [ He's on the third page -- ] Import Frederick Chilton was found in the arms of his patient! How scandouls. James Patrick Marsh, hotel owner, was found with the Doctor on a sensuos lunch date, where the two were found laughing over... strawberries and créme. [ A thoughtful noise. ] How very romantic -- and clichéd. [ Another sip. ]
Isn't it fascinating, what things we've all been up to so far?
video
Maybe you should start your own show. All about sharing the headlines and avoiding getting punched.
video
[ He held a hand to his chest. ]
I barely watch the infernal thing. Imagine putting me on that.
video
Your fancy posturing as you spread filth, seems like it'd make a good show.
video
Mm, well, I've never been one for the spotlight. It makes me rather... nervous. I prefer staying away from the public's eye for a reason.
video
[What is that? A pun? An obvious pun? Sorry, Shade, powerful puns might just make the light dim for a moment there.
It's a useless power.]
Too bad. You've such potential.
video
I think I'll focus such potential on other, more worthwhile pursuits. Really!
Although...
[ A laugh. ]
There's something to be said for this nonsense. [ He's reading again. Guess who it's about. ]
video
[He's not going to stop that. At the laugh he does lean forward though. Maybe he needs to start reading these too.]
Do share.
video
[ He opened it back up, the smile on his face apparent. ]
Rampant theft through Heropa of the product "Icyhot" has led some to believe that the notorious thief, Captain Cold, has started thieving the brand in a romantic gesture. [ A laugh. ] How touching!
Heatwave, the object of his desires, was approached for comment, but the third-degree burns the reporter suffered weren't the price this paper was willing to pay.
video
[He doesn't seem overly scandalised, perhaps faintly puzzled by how anyone would arrive on the conclusion, but he figures given their aliases and since they are living together...]
Icyhot? How cheap a date do they think Mick is?
video
Very cheap.
video
We'll see.
video
Perhaps actually steal all the icyhot?
video
video
video
Though you sound like you have a suggestion.
video
Oh, I don't know, perhaps extend a romantic gesture, I'm certain my two-hundred years of expertise could be good use.
If you ever needed it.
[ He ships it ]
video
[Pick your meaning of 'straight'.]
But less cheap than Icyhot, I don't need your expertise for that.
video
I wasn't speaking about Heat Wave.
[ Shade. Ships. It. ]
video
[Whatever, whatever.
Nobody else ships it, alas.]
video
[ He's the Icyhot bnf pass it on ]
video
[If they are actually discussing it, he can at least say it as he sees it.]
Video
Video
Nah. Clearly I'm better than that.
Video
Video
[He's kidding. Probably.]
Video (this is a better icon so I will forgive all)
Video (I like my friends easily won over)
Video
Video
Video
Video
Video
Video