Ｔｈｅ Ｓｈａｄｅ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
foreshadower) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2016-08-27 11:11 pm
foreshadower) wrote in maskormenace2016-08-27 11:11 pm
Entry tags:
- harleen quinzel | harley quinn,
- † aerith gainsborough | the ancient,
- † aurican | what is a hero?,
- † daisy johnson | quake,
- † frederick chilton | chief of staff!!,
- † hartley rathaway | the pied piper,
- † hunter zolomon | zoom,
- † james jesse | the trickster,
- † james patrick march | the master,
- † kanaya maryam-lalonde | psychopomp,
- † karen starr | power girl,
- † klarion bleak | n/a,
- † leonard snart | captain cold,
- † marian hawke | andraste's mabari,
- † richard swift | the shade,
- † rincewind | n/a,
- † saitama | caped baldy,
- † sam merlotte | n/a
Video
[ As always, with Shade, it's Video.
And as always, he looks pretentious as hell, but this time, it's worse. ] Good evening, imports!
[ Says Shade, dressed in a dark smoking jacket, complete with a pipe, although his tophat and shades are still on. In the background, one can see a roaring fire -- in North Carolina no less -- and in the foreground, a small shadow gremlin stumbles around, bringing a both a glass of hazy green liquid (absinthe) and a paper, which Shade takes. ]
I'm the Shade, for those of you whom I haven't met, and I'm quite the fan of the written word.
Most of the time. [ He holds up the paper, labeled with a bold TMI -- the headline an image -- with a headline underneath: TMI EXCLUSIVE: REGGIE MANTLE CONFESSES - SEE WEBSITE FOR DETAILS ]
I thought I'd give this a go, as the reading seemed to hint that it would include too much information, but this may very well be... too much.
[ He cleared his throat, before he started. ]
Import Harleen Quinzel may not be a human import at all! The import was last seen turning into a -- my word, really? -- Harley Davidson motorcycle, and speeding down Formation Boulevard in Nonah this past Saturday. Some followers of imports pointed out that she may be a... Transformer -- [ He sounded bewildered: ] What is a... ah! -- an alien that is known to tranform from a robot into a vehicle.
[ A pause. ] Fascinating!
And the next one says... Saitama, the import known for packing quite the punch... [ He paused, eyes peering over his sunglasses while he read. His face becoming more and more horrified by the moment. ] ...is now starring in a...n.... X-rated video called "Three Fist Man"? [ Muttered under his breath: ] By erebus -- I don't think that's appropriate for the Sundays...
[ Gross. Maybe he should move on. But only after he reaches out to take a sip of his drink. ]
Ah! My friend Dorian! Apparently you've been rather naughty. [ He grinned. ] Caught in the sheets with Power Girl! My! And with an illegitimate child? Kara Danvers? [ A hand to his chest. ] Toby must be devastated, really. It appears that TMI reporters were able to locate an illicit exchange between the two, but there was no footage, but... the similarities between Ms. Danvers and Power Girl are rather striking, aren't they? [ A wave of his hand. ] Or is it coincidence? Who truly knows?
Ah! It appears that an import is to blame for the FBI's incompetence as well? Apparently a one Erik Lensherr was to blame for the FBI's entire database, which found itself wiped. Apparently the man is a living...magnet? Can that affect compuiters? Regardless, the FBI chose not to comment, and instead dismissed the intrepid TMI reporter as insane. Of course tthat's incorrect.
And lastly -- [ He's on the third page -- ] Import Frederick Chilton was found in the arms of his patient! How scandouls. James Patrick Marsh, hotel owner, was found with the Doctor on a sensuos lunch date, where the two were found laughing over... strawberries and créme. [ A thoughtful noise. ] How very romantic -- and clichéd. [ Another sip. ]
Isn't it fascinating, what things we've all been up to so far?
And as always, he looks pretentious as hell, but this time, it's worse. ] Good evening, imports!
[ Says Shade, dressed in a dark smoking jacket, complete with a pipe, although his tophat and shades are still on. In the background, one can see a roaring fire -- in North Carolina no less -- and in the foreground, a small shadow gremlin stumbles around, bringing a both a glass of hazy green liquid (absinthe) and a paper, which Shade takes. ]
I'm the Shade, for those of you whom I haven't met, and I'm quite the fan of the written word.
Most of the time. [ He holds up the paper, labeled with a bold TMI -- the headline an image -- with a headline underneath: TMI EXCLUSIVE: REGGIE MANTLE CONFESSES - SEE WEBSITE FOR DETAILS ]
I thought I'd give this a go, as the reading seemed to hint that it would include too much information, but this may very well be... too much.
[ He cleared his throat, before he started. ]
Import Harleen Quinzel may not be a human import at all! The import was last seen turning into a -- my word, really? -- Harley Davidson motorcycle, and speeding down Formation Boulevard in Nonah this past Saturday. Some followers of imports pointed out that she may be a... Transformer -- [ He sounded bewildered: ] What is a... ah! -- an alien that is known to tranform from a robot into a vehicle.
[ A pause. ] Fascinating!
And the next one says... Saitama, the import known for packing quite the punch... [ He paused, eyes peering over his sunglasses while he read. His face becoming more and more horrified by the moment. ] ...is now starring in a...n.... X-rated video called "Three Fist Man"? [ Muttered under his breath: ] By erebus -- I don't think that's appropriate for the Sundays...
[ Gross. Maybe he should move on. But only after he reaches out to take a sip of his drink. ]
Ah! My friend Dorian! Apparently you've been rather naughty. [ He grinned. ] Caught in the sheets with Power Girl! My! And with an illegitimate child? Kara Danvers? [ A hand to his chest. ] Toby must be devastated, really. It appears that TMI reporters were able to locate an illicit exchange between the two, but there was no footage, but... the similarities between Ms. Danvers and Power Girl are rather striking, aren't they? [ A wave of his hand. ] Or is it coincidence? Who truly knows?
Ah! It appears that an import is to blame for the FBI's incompetence as well? Apparently a one Erik Lensherr was to blame for the FBI's entire database, which found itself wiped. Apparently the man is a living...magnet? Can that affect compuiters? Regardless, the FBI chose not to comment, and instead dismissed the intrepid TMI reporter as insane. Of course tthat's incorrect.
And lastly -- [ He's on the third page -- ] Import Frederick Chilton was found in the arms of his patient! How scandouls. James Patrick Marsh, hotel owner, was found with the Doctor on a sensuos lunch date, where the two were found laughing over... strawberries and créme. [ A thoughtful noise. ] How very romantic -- and clichéd. [ Another sip. ]
Isn't it fascinating, what things we've all been up to so far?
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[The sheer aghast, the pale horror painted over his face.]
I am never so clichéd!
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[priorities]
Though now I'm certainly craving strawberries and créme.
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[ Didn't she say she's been noted in this damn tabloids as being his beard! ]
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If I were among the masses, I'd readily believe this! Perhaps we should be more concerned for the reputations we have.
And perhaps we should make efforts to improve our dating prowess.
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video | id reads "power girl"
What.
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Congratulations. You must be so proud. [ It's delivered dryly. ]
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[ he's just so tickled pink about this. ]
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video.
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video, private
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Maybe you should start your own show. All about sharing the headlines and avoiding getting punched.
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[ He held a hand to his chest. ]
I barely watch the infernal thing. Imagine putting me on that.
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I've never been happier to not have my name in the papers.
Enjoying yourself?
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It has, however, been a fun evening, watching everyone scamper about, protest the rumors, and the like.
[ He shifted through the papers. ]
But I wouldn't say your name isn't in here.
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GODDAMMIT JILL I JUST CHOKED ON MY LEMONADE
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...but I only have two fists.
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[ A pause. ]
I believe... [ He peers over his sunglasses at the paper, like they're a pair of particularly bad reading glasses. ]
Ah, yes. It's the action that gives you the three. Three...fistings?
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[ his tone is 100% "I am being a shitheel and find this utterly hilarious." ]
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I'm glad to see that you and Toby are willing to step up and become the parents our young friend needs.
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Mr. March, you can do so much better!
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audio;
[ Aurican never cared for such gossip. Brassy-colored Smelt may be more interested, or copper-scaled Blayze will be more likely to be outraged to any slight or insult. But Aurican would be lying if he wasn't curious about these publications saying things about imPorts. ]
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[ He sifts through the paper, before: ]
Jaime Reyes -- a young import -- has now been found to be the leader of the Illuminati. My! Sources close to the young man reported that they found him sneaking around, and that he'd been attending meetings for the cult outside the Masonic building. Sources found exiting the buildings stated that yes, the boy was a member, but more importantly! He was their leader, and the greatest leader they'd ever seen.
[ He closed the paper dramatically. ] How fascinating!
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You actually got a representative from the FBI to speak to you?
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[ When it comes to Dorian Gray, anyway. Sorry, buddy, she only speaks the truth! ]
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[ stfu Hawke, he is smart and attractive and wonderful. ]
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And poor Miss Raina, I hope she gets the house in the breakup.
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1/2
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video;
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Of course you do.
Perhaps you'd like my copy when I'm through with it?
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voice
[she understands like None Of This but knows enough about slander to kind of...get the gist of what this is.]
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People love imagining that we celebrities are out committing all sorts of outlandish acts.
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Personally, I find it all rather... discouraging to be in the public eye.
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This is where they get all the locals find their entertainment!
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I knew it!
How does it feel, having all your secrets bared to the world?
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At least Hunter looks amused.]
Who was it that decided to introduce you to the trashy side of tabloids?
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I'm afraid the one you need to blame is my own curiosity. It got the better of me.
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sssssh. Video;
Getting that desperate for entertainment? It can't be for news.
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