-5° - [video] - The Fastest Turtle Alive

[catchacold]

[The video opens with a turtle on a skateboard. The turtle has an emblem on its shell, a lightning bolt in a white circle. It looks rather unperturbed by the entire situation.

A slight shuffle can be heard and then the turtle's skateboard gets a push. It starts rolling across the room. The turtle looks as nonplussed as a turtle can look. It's not very.

The skateboard isn't moving all that fast, but for a turtle? Pretty damn fast. The camera moves along with it, only slightly shaky. A hand can be seen stopping the skateboard before it hits the sofa. The same hand shortly thereafter produces a lettuce leaf and puts it down on the skateboard, something that gets more of the turtle's interest than the entire adventure so far.

While the turtle eats, the hand holds up a sign that reads: THE FASTEST TURTLE ALIVE!]



[The camera zooms out a little, showing a sleeping Mick Rory, stretched out on the sofa with a sign propped up against him.]



[Finally the camera turns, revealing the face of the mastermind behind all this, angling the shot so he can be seen sitting on the ground, leaning back against the sofa and petting the turtle's shell.]

This turtle needs a name for its secret identity. I take suggestions!

[He moves to turn the feed off, then thinks better of it.]

Rincewind, tell me if you want your turtle back. Just remember that it has the heard of a hero. [Wait, this is Rincewind he's addressing.] Metaphorically.

Also, Flash? You're on. My money's on the turtle.

Anyone else care to make a bet? Fastest Man Alive or the turtle, tell me your odds.

Comments

[airshow]

Awwwwww.

Long odds, but my money's on your reptilian pal. He looks like he's got moxy!

[catchacold]

I'd say so.

[Leonard turns to check on the turtle, who happily chews lettuce and obviously doesn't care.]

At least the winner in spirit, any day.

Action, a few minutes later

[pyrogue]

[ Mick wakes up from his nap, eventually. ]

...Len, what the hell is up with this weird sign?

[catchacold]

You're vouching for me.

[Obviously.

Leonard finally takes the turtle off the skateboard, before it can lead to any accidents, then he turns to give his full attention to Mick.]

I'm creating a new superhero.

[aka "You were napping and I had a turtle, so things just kind of happened."]

[zee_zatara]

Ha! Just when I was looking for an opening act.

[catchacold]

This turtle is a true showstopper.

[Ain't nobody gonna deny that on his watch.]

video;

[heliophilic]

And people tell me I need a hobby. Lenny you need to get out more.

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[catchacold]

Please, I've got plenty of hobbies. I just don't like to half-ass things.

[He has and is a full ass and he likes putting his all into it.]

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[jojoceanman]

...What are you doing?

voice

[catchacold]

Superhero origin story.

[Duh.

Should really be obvious.]

[devoutish]

You've heard the story of the tortoise and the hare?

[catchacold]

Kinda the foundation of this idea.

So, your money's on the turtle too?

[trouvaille]

Timothy T. Turtleton.

[catchacold]

Bit hard to shout out if you need help quickly, but who doesn't love alliteration?

It's in the running.

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[burlyboy]

Terrence the Turtle!

[burlyboy]

Which is a better name than the Flash. He sounds like a sex offender.

[video]

[continuousgroaning]

... is it really a secret identity if you're going to mention it in public?

[video]

[catchacold]

He's gonna wear a mask. Who'd recognise him?

[Among all the other crime fighting turtles.]

[aggressiveapathy]

Shelly Flashbane.

[catchacold]

See, I like that. Clever and with some not so hidden meaning.

Knew I could count on you.

VIDEO.

[accelerate]

[ of course, barry's late to this. this needs to be said. ]

[ barry's laughing. this is the greatest thing he's seen since being reunited with both mom and dad. the flash had seemingly disappeared for a couple of days in the new central city he found himself, but he's heard of a "kid flash" zipping around. perhaps that's what this place needs — a flash who's a turtle. animals need heroes too, right? ]

You should name him Flash Jr! I could always use a sidekick and a skateboard. Does he use the skateboard? I bet he's way too quick for one.

VIDEO.

[catchacold]

How in the hell do you figure that he would be the sidekick in this equation?

[Excuse you, Barry Allen. Excuse you.]

He's a proper hero. You can sidekick him.

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[h2no]

Wh-- is that a turtle? Do they get bigger?

[HE HASN'T SEEN A TURTLE YET]

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[catchacold]

Probably depends on what you feed them...

[Wait. He doesn't need anyone experimenting with Rincewind's turtle.]

Think this one won't, but some species do. My friend's world has pretty big ones.

[That's an understatement.]

Video

[foreshadower]

[ He stroked his chin. ]

We could name it... Jay.

[ #1 Flash fanboy og edition ]

Video

[catchacold]

How is that a superhero's name?

[And not just the first name, he needs a proper moniker.]

Come on, Shade. You can do better. Although come to think of it, I guess your name is on the nose too.

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

[ SG actually squeals a bit, SHE IS SO CHARMED ]

Radical Jeffrey! Toby Awesomelegs! Sammy J. Speedster!

[catchacold]

[Well, that is a really charming turtle.]

You get the spirit of the thing. I think I need something that would look good as a newspaper headline.

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[aberranthubris]

Wheels.

[ It's a lame joke that isn't really even funny. He just heard it somewhere... ]

Text;

[catchacold]

Hey, not bad.

[Lame jokes are really where it's at, let's face it.]

I ain't yet sure how fond he is of the skateboard.

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[am_i_a_monster]

The fastest turtle could have a name like Speedy, Dash, Bullet, Lightening, or Bolt.

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[catchacold]

Right? You get it.

I'd go with Bullet, but I don't want anyone to end up shooting him.

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[wizzardly]

Of course I want my bloody turtle back!

[congrats, Len, you've got one fully-flustered wizard on the screen, his face one shade too close to his hat color to be good for his blood pressure.]

You'd just better hope that paint washes, you lunatic! - And he's already got a name, it's Bus! Bus!

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[catchacold]

Hey, you didn't seem to be in any hurry.

[Leonard reaches over to hold a piece of lettuce up for Bus to eat.]

I know he's Bus, but that's his civilian name. We're looking for his superhero identity.

[Duh.]

Relax, Rincewind. Your turtle has big dreams.

[Primarily about eating lettuce, from the looks of it.]

[itistolaugh]

You flirt weird.

[catchacold]

Jealous?

[clobbers]

( This makes Kara laugh. Enough for her sides to hurt, and for her eyes to sparkle once she's finally got her composure back. )

Michaelangelo!

( Nerd that she is, she's thinking of TMNT right about now. )

Nice work with the video by the way! I'd give it a like if you put it up on youtube. But my money's on the fastest man alive.

[catchacold]

Finally, someone suggesting a name that makes sense.

[Hey, he loves the ninja turtles, there's some nostalgic value there for sure.

He also recognises Kara, but he's been here long enough to realise that this may not be the same Kara that remembers having been here before, so he ignores it.]

Thanks, I appreciate that. And those are some tall odds. Rumour has it you're even betting against the fastest man alive there.

[socialactivillain]

...Did you steal a turtle?

[catchacold]

Borrowed.

I mean, I ain't keeping him. We're just bonding.

[As evidenced by Bus, the turtle, eating a lettuce leaf that Leonard holds up to him.]