#007 (Squirtle) | Text | CW: possible light glass squick in the image

[versusseeker]

[There sure is a lot going on right now, but there is also this going on right now, and Red has a safety PSA for everyone.

[He links an image, and then:]

its tru

[Followed by a selfie - Red's usual dead-pan expression, and Archie in the background with his head in his hands. They appear to be at the hospital.]

Comments

[halloflamer]

Now hold on just a minute pal, you can shittalk Archie all you want

Arceus knows he deserves it

But Red isn't a stupid Diglett that eats lightbulbs so how about you back off

[WEEOOWEOO PROTECTIVE BOYFRIEND FIGHT]

[h2no]

you're right but why won't you defend me like this

[halloflamer]

Do I have to say it? I thought that would be too mean

[h2no]

oh my heart

anyway continue

[unconchonable]

and you are wwho exactly
i mean i aint gonna back off regardless

[halloflamer]

Blue

What's your problem have a bad day? Get dumped? Rough times, pal

[unconchonable]

your name is a fuckin color

nothins my problem beyond your species continued and honestly quite dedicated loyalty to provvin itself to be as inferior and sponge numbingly stupid as bloody possible

[halloflamer]

Yeah and you're totally the first person to say that right

I mean I guess yeah... They treat animals terribly here!

Wait what do you mean species what are you anyway

[unconchonable]

dont change howw fuckin stupid and borin of a name it is
but to be fair there are far wworse colors to be named after

wwho givves a shit about that beasts are beasts wwhatevver
im a troll from the planet alternia thats wwhat im meanin by species

[halloflamer]

Like what

Oh an alien ok I've met some of those here. Well that's cool I guess??

What do you look like? The last one I met was a robot

[unconchonable]

yknoww more wwarm and rudy colors
maroon bronze yelloww

do robots really count i mean theyre fuckin machines
sure theyre like machines of their planet and wwhat not but hardly wwhat id call a species
anywways i got grey skin horns gills and fins
wwe share a similar enough body shape though

[halloflamer]

Gross who would be named Yellow Looool can you imagine?? 'Hi I'm Gold!!'

Man idk I didn't ask him about that he turned into a boat and we got drunk

Or maybe the other way around but anyway that's not important

Woah horns and fins huh

So like, a Water type?

[Blue that's not how it works]

[unconchonable]

right wwhat a horrid fuckin color
blue is just under purple so at least you got a name wwith SOME class

oh yeah that guy
he told me he could turn into a boat but then didnt fuckin showw that he could so i figured he wwas full of fuckin horsefeathers

wwater type uh
i mean im a sea dwweller if thats wwhat youre meanin

[halloflamer]

Purple huh

Well I guess the color is fine but it's kind of a weird name. What about Violet? That's a good name!

Was he blue? Yeah he can totally turn into a boat, you missed out

He can drink too what a guy!!!

Yeah something like that! What's your name anyway

[unconchonable]

vviolet is alwways surperior to purple so i cant say i disagree wwith you there

yeah he wwas but wwhatevver i really dont care THAT much for his little trick

im guessin youre referrin to your human soporifics right
really dont get the appeal of em

im eridan ampora

[halloflamer]

I mean it WAS p great surfing on a robot was pretty cool

not as cool as a Gyarados but cool!

Idk what the Furret a superrific is but sure

Eridan huh

Well don't mess with Red and we won't have a problem Eridan!! 👌

[unconchonable]

[He could reply to all of that, y'know, like a decent conversationalist.

Instead:]

wwhat a terrible fuckin name

[halloflamer]

That's really rude Gyarados is the name of his species

[unconchonable]

not gyarados STUPID
red

1/2

[halloflamer]

[??? ????????]

[halloflamer]

What's with you and colors

[unconchonable]

colors are a big important thing wwhere im from
its a symbol of the caste you belong to vvia blood color
red or wwell maroon bein the lowwest of them all

[halloflamer]

That's dumb

[That's it. That's the astute reply.]

[unconchonable]

thats the usual reply from someone wwho aint got the pan to comprehend the complexity and majesty of the hemospectrum
its alright take comfort in that you fit in wwith the rest of your ignorant species
not that yours is one to cull outliers or anythin so i guess it aint MUCH of a comfort

[halloflamer]

Ok

Still dumb tho

Gyarados has gills and fins like you too, and he's a Water type! Maybe you can come meet him sometime.