THE MAJORITY REPORT: NOVEMBER 10TH, 2018

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: NOVEMBER 10TH, 2018 What a strange neon oasis, to gain so much attention as of late. Come for a visit, let it seep into your bones.

THE HAT U GIVE
As seen in local Maurtia Falls news, picked up by syndicated national news:
A troubling string of grisly "deaths" in Maurtia Falls—more and more bodies have been littering the streets only to come gasping abruptly back to life. However, upon subsequent police interview, over 90% of the victims have been identified as criminals with existing records. While these records consist largely of misdemeanors, several are persons of interest in other investigations. Furthermore, all claim to have been caught in the act of committing by a masked man in black. This matches both the description and assumed power set of notorious imPort villain dubbed Black Hat, who first brought himself to public attention with his indiscriminate killings over the summer; most notably during the #immortal BlueTube campaign and Maurtia Falls anti-imPort riots. Black Hat had been assumed exPorted after going to ground for some time, but the MFPD is asking anyone with information on the masked man to come forward.

In an even more troubling development, four men were found tied by their hands and hanging from an apartment complex's alley fire escape this morning. While previous victims found in groups had come back in no predictable order, what makes this incident more troubling is that all four men revived at precisely the same second, just after news crews had arrived. These men have likewise been found to have lengthy rap sheets, and have been connected to an attempted burglary of Maurtia Falls First Financial last night.

While the Maurtia Falls Police Department has declined further comment on this on-going investigation, public opinion in the Falls seems to be split. Many are appalled by the murders, but there does seem to be an overall agreement that this may be what it takes to stop petty street crime in their city. One citizen, Randy Snyder, even took our interview as an opportunity to offer his thanks: "If Black Hat hadn't shown up and [expletive] shot that mother[expletive] in his [expletive] head, he would've stolen my brand new mother[expletive] BMW!"

More to come as the story unfolds.

RADIOACTIVE, RADIOACTIVE
As seen around De Chima:
Signs have been cropping up all over De Chima. Some theorize the content is Jeopardy-related, while city officials rebuke the possibility. Ambassador Baal is not around for comment. No word as to why -- perhaps another disappearance. Probably very normal, nothing to worry about.

CARELESS WHISPER
As heard in Maurtia Falls, as discussed on Bwitter:
You must have heard some weird whispering as of late, if you're in the Maurtia Falls surrounding area or the city itself. Oddly soft sounds, almost identified with whispers. The content seems intelligible, however, and difficult to otherwise describe although the Bwitter community has been trying its damnedest. Probably very normal, nothing to worry about.

SOME LIKE IT HOT
As experienced in Heropa:
Does it seem... Brighter to you? Longer days, and not in the Daylight Savings kind of way. Longer, brighter, burning days. It's hard to quantify however, and no one seems to be talking about it. But every step across the asphalt seems a little warming, maybe you've picked up on it. Maybe it's only you thinking it. Probably very normal, nothing to worry about.

LOSING TOUCH
As felt around Nonah:
That doorknob you just touched? Sticky. That bus route sign you tapped? Sticky. That crosswalk signal sensor you palmed? Sticky. Is it just you, or is everything feeling a bit... Stickier? Than usual? Seems like such a silly thing to bring up, though, doesn't it? What, are you going to break the ice being all "yeah I've been touching a lot of sticky things as of late?" You'll be the one sounding weird, won't you? Probably very normal, nothing to worry about.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VAST AND INFINITE VELVET to CRUNCHED LEAF YELLOW. Step on this color, we dare you.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

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[continuousgroaning]

I moved to Heropa to get away from creepy stuff and now creepy stuff is happening IN Heropa?

[Whoops, there's a groan, and a teenager just sinking in her seat as she continues to groan.]

text;

[ralltiir]

What even is the point of that Advisory System coding? It tells you nothing about the security state of affairs!

text;

[ghoulking]

It's just a joke. Like a lot in this place whete clearly no one takes anything seriously.

It has had all the colors you can come up with.

[ralltiir]

What
That's

That is the most inefficient and preposterous system I have ever heard of! Do the colors mean nothing?!

[ghoulking]

It follows the principle that warm colors represent some danger and blue less. But we have had rainbow and black and white.

Even glitter.

[ralltiir]

How

No. I don't want to know.

Is "crunched leaf yellow" supposed to be a warm color?

text | I am so sorry she is just LIKE THIS

[choosetruth]

"Radioactive, Radioactive", "Careless Whisper", "Some Like It Hot", and "Losing Touch" do not seem especially newsworthy and all end with the same sentence. I have not been here long enough to know if such things are "very normal" or not, but the lack of objectivity and redundant word choices are certainly something I'd worry about.

text

[knaval]

cool ok

[dragony]

how strong is your throwing arm

[knaval]

incredibly. solid 11/10.
where do u need me

[dragony]

de chima
need you to throw me directly into the sun

[ text ] »

[divaricate]

💯💯💯💯💯 well this is all fine and normal.

[ sarcasm. ]

text;

[dragony]

god fucking dammit.

text;

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob hesitates before replying to this. He doesn't want to pick at the wounds of her memories. But he needs to know:]

Does any of this seem familiar to you?

[dragony]

(´‿^♡)

text;

[grandtheftequine]

official statement from the maurtia falls ambassadors office regarding the whispers is: try wearing earplugs

seriously we have no idea what's causing it
what we do know is it's probably very normal, nothing to worry about

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

Come to think of it, I've been touching a lot of sticky things lately. Is that normal?

[video]

[ghoulking]

Probably. Nothing to worry about. [ y e p ]

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

Strange, that's almost exactly the fifth time I've heard that sentiment in the last hour alone. I wonder if that's something I should worry about.

[video]

[ghoulking]

Everyone - including the natives and government - is so complacent over everything that has been happening this past year, so I wouldn't blame you if you did not worry about it.

[ghoulking]

Everything is always fine and nothing is ever wrong. It has been since 2014.

[knaval]

it could be worse! they could not be so obvious about it 😂😂

[ghoulking]

Imagine that.
At least that means people won't just shrug everything off and depend on them.

Oh, wait.

[knaval]

almost like not everyone is physically or mentally equipped to deal with a constant state of crisis
it's a fairly common state of being for civilians

Text

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

This shouldn't need to be said, but just for the record: Aegis Force does NOT support killing and publicly displaying small-time criminals. Even if it is temporary. If anyone has any information on the Black Hat, let us know.

The same goes for if you know anything about whatever else is going on in the Porter cities. All FIVE of them. This is not normal, and being worried is a legitimate reaction.