maskormenace | 02 ☘ voice

Alright there, lads and lasses?

[Brightly, followed by a brief slosh of liquid as he slurps something from a bottle.]

Been thinkin' a bit, taxin' as that is on me brain meats. Bout lots of things, really, but uh...

Tomorrow is me big One Twenty-- not as good as the oul Four Twenty but gotta wait another three hundred years for that one, like, so this'll have to do 'til then. I'll be acceptin' donations of the alcoholic and controlled substance variety, or money will do if you're underaged. Might even buy you a pint in return if y'find yourself around Maurtia Falls tomorrow.

Thought it might also be time to get some more poorly planned ink in the process, and I figured. Well. Maybe it'd be less poorly planned if I asked for suggestions from folks first. I'm acceptin' any and all ideas, even the truly shite ones. I mean, Christ, if you've seen me, you'd know I already got a whole lotta bad decisions inked out, doubt you lot could come up with worse. In before someone suggests a knob tat.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The loot was great and apparently, I was considered one of the trashiest contestants on the show since I was willing to do almost anything.

[That's nothing to be proud of for most people but she's an Arizona dirtbag.]

[Cassidy, a fellow dirtbag, sounds all too pleased for her.]

No way! Congrats there, love, that is quite the title! Not so sure what I was crowned as, but I sure as shite've been gettin' a lot more free crap sent my way and a bunch more folk wantin' their arses signed by me own fair hand.

I signed a few boobs and not bad ones either. No butts yet.

[Being a semi-famous reality tv star is the best sometimes.]

The free stuff is really good- someone sent me a case of beer they named after me- Dumpster Fire. Tasted like a dumpster but hey, free beer.

Free beer? Ah, y'got me beat there too. Christ, I need better fans and sponsor types, milk this reality fame for all it's worth while we can, eh? We all know it don't last long.

It helps that I'm hot, I guess.

Definitely- we're famous for now but soon we'll be like the cast of the Jersey Shore- outdated and overused memes.

I have always wanted to be an outdated meme though, I'll be honest with yeh, love.

Really? What kind of outdated meme would you be? Are you a Snookie?

I like to think of meself as more of a Vinny. Or any of them lads, honestly. Dumb as bricks but they mean well.

I would have pegged you as more of The Situation type but Vinny is good. Oh they are so dumb but it was one of those things you can't look away.

Christ, you're not wrong there, love a bit of The Situation. Forgettin' 'bout the Shore for a second though, I really see meself as more of a Honey Boo Boo.

Fork, you would be such a great Honey Boo Boo. Can you do her voice?

Can I do an impression of a little girl? Surprisingly not really, no.

Hey, some people are really good at things like that.

But you'll have the channel your best Honey Boo Boo when we go out.

Y'got yourself a deal there, love.

[And then he tries his very best to at least does some semblance of the Honey Boo Boo southern accent. It's not great, but it's an attempt:] My special juice is gonna help me win!

[There is a moment before she cracked up laughing, clapping her hands.]

I forking love you. This is gonna be so much fun.

Ah, we'll have a bloody good craic, I think.

What sorta location we thinkin' for such a momentous occasion? I love a good dive bar meself.

Love dive bars.

The fancy places tend to look down on me flashing my boobs for free drinks. Get all uptight about indecent exposure and such.

I love a boob flash! Those fancy gits just don't know how to have a good time.

Right? If you're hot and have good boobs, show them off.

Fancy ash-holes are missing out.

I've put plenty of me own bits on display for a free drink, I tell ya. Always worth it.

Same! It helps to be hot- I can flash something and/or bang the bartender and boom free drinks.

Oh, bangin' the the bartender, that's always a good one if you can get it. Cleared a few tabs with that one.

Banging the bartender has saved me a lot of money. Same with having nice boobs.

Alright, well I at least expect a boob flash for free drinks when we go out. Failin' that I'm sure I can find some rich fella to con outta his well earned cash.

That I can do. I can't wait to see how you work.

voice;

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