007 • video

[cigarbribery]

Did you know that in New York, you can't take a selfie with a tiger? Technically speaking, it's illegal for anyone who owns a tiger, lion, leopard, or any kind of cat that's not a housecat to knowingly allow the public to have direct contact with those animals. You know, since they're wild animals.

[Foggy huffs out a laugh. He's having a slow day in the office at the moment, and there's a list of weird laws pulled up on his laptop that he's apparently reading off. He chortles at a couple, shaking his head.]

And hey, here's a good one: in Washington, if you find Bigfoot, it's illegal to kill him. I'm serious! You'd be guilty of a misdemeanor and then you'd end up facing either a huge fine or jail time for killing Bigfoot. I know, it's nuts, but it's the law.

[He snorts out another laugh, leaning back into his chair.]

Anyway, I'm having a pretty slow day and I've reorganized my files twice over for something to do, so I just wanna ask: do you know if your world has any really weird laws?

And, oh, yeah, I think it's around that time new imPorts start coming in, so: welcome to bizarro America! Or just America if it doesn't exist for you. If you have questions, Ken Kaneki Ported out just recently, but his FAQ's still up, and if you ask another imPort for it we'll send you the link.

Comments

voice

[fauxmarth]

A slow day? That's rare for you, isn't it? Are you telling me those cabinets are entirely alphabetized now?

voice

[cigarbribery]

The cabinets are alphabetized, the fridge is restocked, I even looked over a few contracts just for something to do. I forgot what slow days are actually like. I'm so bored, Lucina. Help.

[fauxmarth]

Poor thing. You’re too efficient! Shall I fetch a puzzle book for you on my dog walk?

[cigarbribery]

...you know what, I'm that bored, please do. And maybe a cheeseburger while you're at it.

Wait, you've got a dog with you?

[fauxmarth]

Ah—yes. Two. Owain’s dogs... [she hesitates. Foggy knows, right? he has to. she hadn’t had the heart to broadcast it...]

[cigarbribery]

...oh.

[Yeah, he knows.]

...do you need a break? I can help. I used to run a dog-walking business over the summer when I was a kid.

[fauxmarth]

Did you-? That’s a charming image.

But, no...Archie has been helping me mind them. He’s been a great help;
These two are so rambunctious! [like owner, like dog, she supposes sadly.]

If you don’t mind their company, I can stop by?

[cigarbribery]

Yeah, I was like, twelve? And of course I don't mind, I bet they're good dogs, aren't they?

[Rambunctious, like their owner, and doesn't that just sting his heart.]

[fauxmarth]

Yes. Just a handful, but well-meaning all the same.

I'll walk them your way, then. How's that?