maskormenace | 007 • video

Did you know that in New York, you can't take a selfie with a tiger? Technically speaking, it's illegal for anyone who owns a tiger, lion, leopard, or any kind of cat that's not a housecat to knowingly allow the public to have direct contact with those animals. You know, since they're wild animals.

[Foggy huffs out a laugh. He's having a slow day in the office at the moment, and there's a list of weird laws pulled up on his laptop that he's apparently reading off. He chortles at a couple, shaking his head.]

And hey, here's a good one: in Washington, if you find Bigfoot, it's illegal to kill him. I'm serious! You'd be guilty of a misdemeanor and then you'd end up facing either a huge fine or jail time for killing Bigfoot. I know, it's nuts, but it's the law.

[He snorts out another laugh, leaning back into his chair.]

Anyway, I'm having a pretty slow day and I've reorganized my files twice over for something to do, so I just wanna ask: do you know if your world has any really weird laws?

And, oh, yeah, I think it's around that time new imPorts start coming in, so: welcome to bizarro America! Or just America if it doesn't exist for you. If you have questions, Ken Kaneki Ported out just recently, but his FAQ's still up, and if you ask another imPort for it we'll send you the link.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A famous cryptid someone caught on camera one time. Really hairy, probably not actually real, but apparently enough people have been hunting for him that there's a law about it.

[A pause.]

...I mean, if you think about it, there's a lot of reasons why you shouldn't just leave ice cream in mailboxes. It'll melt, for one thing, and probably ruin a lot of letters when it does.

But yeah, I agree, five hundred thousand or five years in jail is excessive. No mailman has that kind of money.

Hairy? What a strange fact... but exciting! So he's an American demon?

[ She grimaces yet nods slowly. ]

Yes, that is true. I can't imagine the important letters one gets in the mail getting destroyed by ice cream if you don't collect it in time...

...I guess? I mean, people don't really consider him a demon, he's just a really hairy guy.

Yeah, you'd be more than a little bit pissed if your love letter got ruined because some asshole left ice cream in the mailbox. Although, why would anyone leave ice cream there in the first place?

You can have ice cream shipped to your house! They are shipped in some sort of cooling box, I think.

Okay, good to know, I didn't know that until just now. I was kind of picturing a tub of ice cream just melting and leaking out of the box, ruining all the letters, honestly.