maskormenace | 002; VIDEO

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002; VIDEO

[ Finn waves at the video and immediately gets down to business. ]

So, Archie and I have been talking and we’re wanting to get the, uh- Heal Squad? [ He glances off screen then looks back. ] We want to get the Heal Squad together again. Basically, we want it to be a group of imPorts with healing abilities that can get together in case there’s a crisis. So, if you have an ability like that or if you have any medical knowledge at all, we’d be interested in… getting together?

[ He looks off camera again. ] Archie, I have no idea what I’m doing.

[do you think there will be some actual advice, from archie’s end? oh, no. he’s still slightly off camera, and a party horn suddenly blows, hitting finn lightly in the face. archie leans in, still blowing it, big grin on his face.]

That makes two of us, ha! Right, so, some of you might remember when our dearly exPorted Magnus Chase had the idea to gather the imPorts who can actually and are willing to use their healing powers. Be they Porter given or otherwise. Finn an’ I figured that it would probably be an idea to throw that back together, given the constantly rotating nature of this shitshow.

[he gives a big cheesy thumbs up at the camera.] So the plan is the same as before, sound off if you have a power and you’re willing to help, keep this broadcast bookmarked for the names that’ll be noted down that you know you can call if you want ‘em for any reason rather than using the medical services here, and sign a legal document acknowledging none of us are actually doctors! Foggy, that one’s for you!

[ Finn, after jumping and scrubbing at his eyes because of the sudden party horn, now smiles at the camera almost like he’s holding back a laugh. He waves again. ] If there’s any more legal stuff we should look into, feel free to let us know. Thanks, everyone.

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Please tell me that you didn't break your legs. [ Helping him up the stairs and into the door. ]

And I didn't hang up on you, we were done talking.

[ Sure, Poe... ]

I'm walking, ain't I?

[not the right answer, but he also genuinely did not break anything this time.]

Ah, no, you hung up on me because I said something that made you emotional.

[you can't press x on a bastard irl]

These things aren't mutually exclusive, you know that, right? [ Just gonna set Archie down on the couch and then go get him a glass of water. ]

And no, you didn't, there just wasn't any point to that conversation.

[he stands up when he's set down just to prove it. also so he can stand irritated with his arms crossed.]

Don't bullshit me. I thought we were past that.

[ He sighs as he runs the tap. ]

What do you want me to say, Arch? You're right. I don't have control over the porter, it's not my fault.

Better?

No.

[he raises his eyebrows minutely.]

Do you think I'm asking you because I want convincing?

[ He turns the tap off and comes back over, holding out the glass to Archie. ]

Trust me, if I had control over the porter, you would know it, I would know it, everyone else would know it.

I know.

[he takes it with a thankful grunt, because he was actually thirsty...]

Shot and a miss. Not about the Porter. If it's not about me and it's not about the Porter, then... [it's about poe! god, he hopes that's clear enough.]

[ Archie, there is no one on Earth or in the cosmos with a thicker skull than Poe Dameron when he's being stubborn. ]

Then what, Arch? You just like pointing out that I'm completely powerless over our situation?

[archie sighs. takes another gulp of the water.

then throws it in poe's face.]

YOU REALLY THINK I'D COME HERE JUST TO DO THAT TO YOU, ASSHOLE? AFTER EVERYTHING?! QUIT BEING SO GODDAMN STUBBORN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! MAYBE IF YOU STOP ACTING LIKE THIS EVERY TIME SOMETHIN' HAPPENS THAT YOU DON'T LIKE, YOU'D ACTUALLY REALISE WHAT EVERYONE'S BEEN TRYIN' TO TELL YOU FOR SO LONG!! YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP USING THEM PORTING OUT AS AN EXCUSE TO CONVENIENTLY FORGET IT SO YOU CAN GO BACK TO THROWING A PITY PARTY!

[he gently puts the glass down on the side. then pokes poe in the chest.]

Why are you doing this? Why are you doing things you know will make you miserable? Why are you doing it, Poe? When did you stop giving a shit about yourself? Don't even try to use the god damn fucking Porter as an excuse, because you're just about the only person here like this! Including the ones who've been around for half a decade longer than you!

Edited 2019-03-22 15:47 (UTC)

[ Usually, Poe had the type of temper that would flare up just as hot and fast in response- but in the face of Archie he just looked shocked, frozen in the onslaught of anger, blinking at him. ]

I—-

[ He barely understood half of what Archie meant, and frowned, taking a step back out of range of that finger. ]

Conveniently forget what? Yelling at me isn’t going to suddenly make me understand when I don’t know what the hell youre talking about. I’m fine.

[ His face started darkening, the anger starting to bubble up as the shock wore off. ]

What the hell are you trying to say, Arch? I’m not doing shit, I’m just trying to get through this place and I don’t think that’s so fucking different from anyone else.

[he actually throws his hands up wordlessly for a moment then drops them down and yells wordlessly into them.]

You're not fine! Don't even say that to me, Dameron! I'm not talking about the Porter or trying to rub in your face how you don't have control! I know that! We're all in the same boat for that! I'm talking about how you respond to it! What the hell did you think would happen if I was stupid enough to actually let you compare those two pictures?! I'm seriously interested.

[ He crossed his arms tightly across his chest, his gaze sharp and dark. ]

What the fuck does it matter to you?

[ He snapped it out before he could stop himself and instantly regretted it, but he was in it, now. ]

I want to know if they’re different. I want to know, Archie, I want to be able to convince myself that I’m not fucking betraying him every fucking waking moment that I’m here. Because I don’t know how the hell to deal with it, if they’re exactly the same man, and I just didn’t have the strength to fucking wait for him.

But where the fuck do you think you have the right to act righteous with me? You react just as fucking badly. You shut out basically anything even getting anywhere near intimacy because you know just as well as I do how much it sucks here and how much it hurts. At least I’m trying to deal with it.

Because, you know, funnily enough, I'm not a huge fan of sitting around watching one of my best friends torture himself!

[he rubs a hand over his face.]

So what if they are? So what if they aren't? What would having that knowledge even do except give you more reason to hate yourself for making choices just so you could have one sliver of happiness?

[he grunts.]

Because I'm not interested in that hurt again. I don't need a fucking relationship here. I don't want one. This isn't about me, anyway. Don't try and deflect it.

I’m not— [ He breaks off mid sentence because a) yeah he is kind of torturing himself and b) he is a sucker for open displays of affection. So instead he mutters: ] Yeah, you’re one of my best friends too.

[ Reciprocated affection out of the way, he makes a face. ] I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know what good it would do other than put it to rest, because it’s not like not knowing is doing me any fucking favours.

I’m not deflecting, I’m point out that you’re being a fucking hypocrite. I didn’t want one either. Okay? I swore I wouldn’t put myself through it again. And you just fucking fell off my roof, if you want to talk about watching one of your best friends hurt themselves.

It won't put it to rest. All it'll do is make you move onto the next minute detail you want to scrutinize constantly. Do you think Finn notices you doing this? You could be guilt tripping him without even realising you are!

[his hand stays on his face as he pinches his nose.]

That was an accident. Like you and 622 falling for each other, right? You didn't do it out of spite for Finn or to hurt anyone. It just happened.

[ For the first time, Poe looked actively pained. He sucked in a breath and looked away. ]

I know I’m hurting him. I know. Okay? I know. I’m not trying to guilt him, Arch, not a single shred of this is his fault, but he keeps trying to fix it like he—[ He cut off, swallowing. ]

It wasn’t an accident, though. With 622. Was it. The writing was on the wall for months, and if I’d really wanted to stop it, I could have. He wouldn’t have even known that there was anything to miss. I could have just distanced myself and he’d have been none the wiser. But I couldn’t.

You’re just as reckless as I am. The only difference is that you think you can shut it off and just - push people away - as if that makes anything any better. You even push me away, and you know it. Throwing yourself off buildings —

I know I’m not handling things well but neither are you.

Of course you're not. Why would anyone want to do something like that on purpose? Is there a reason why he thinks he has to fix it?

[it's not asked in an accusatory tone.]

And you didn't. Why? You did it because being with him made you happy, right? Why anyone would enter a relationship. You didn't do it thinking that you specifically wanted to spite Finn.

[at least... he figures not! if that was the case then jeez he got poe wrong!!]

I'm not asking you to handle it like someone who's emotionally healthy. I'm asking you to stop purposefully making it worse. I'm asking you to realise that you doing these things to yourself doesn't just affect you and it doesn't just make you miserable.

I don’t know. He blames himself, I think, but- I told him to stop and he just... he wants to fix it, he wants to fix me and I don’t have the heart to keep telling him he can’t.

[ He scrubbed his face. ] Of course I didn’t. I never really believed he’d ever come back. Six months- I thought he was just gone. But six months is barely anything. I could have waited. If... [ He sighed. ]

I don’t even know that I’m doing it when I’m doing it, Arch, I don’t know how I’m supposed to promise that I’ll stop.

You have to. Even though it will hurt both of you. When you both finally come to terms with that, then you can properly start to move on and deal with this new problem.

[he shakes his head.]

No. There's no use spiraling like this. I'm not gonna bother to be the one-hundredth person to tell you to go to therapy that you ignore, but that's the thing! You just gotta be ridiculous about it. If you say something and he looks sad, ask him if you said something that hurt. If he presses on a sore topic too hard, tell him that it's too much for you.

Do you what happened with me and Matt back home? Communication like this was neglected, and we ended up breaking each other. He'll likely never be the same again because of what happened. Don't let it get to that level.

I’ve been trying, but I swear actually talking about it hurts him more. I can see it literally every time.

For the record? I am going to therapy. I’ve been seeing Dr Chilton. I just don’t fucking advertise it, okay?

[ He sighed, scrubbing his face. ] But that’s it, Arch. We’re basically exes who never actually broke up.

... and neither of us wanted to.

Arceus, I can almost hear the vindicated cries of Magnus and Alex beyond the veil.

[and owain, but he knows better than to mention him.]

No-one wants to lose anyone to the Porter. That's just how it is. Sometimes you gotta hurt to clear the air. What's the alternative? Both of you just awkwardly muddling through it and bumping into each other in the fog constantly? Also, remind me why polyamory isn't an option, here?

[ Poe felt his face heat up with a flush. ]

One, because Finn was the one who — the first time we got together he said I had to be all in. And 622...

[ He deflated, a little. ]

He’s never had a relationship before, Arch. He deserves to be able to figure out what he wants, wirhout me steamrolling him intothings he doesn’t. And I can barely manage to keep one person happy.(

No offense, but you've already kinda fucked that one up. That Finn isn't even here anymore! What good is keeping a promise to a man who doesn't even remember he asked you to?

[he makes a face, taking the glass to fiddle with it.]

He's inexperienced, not stupid. I can't imagine he would let you do that, anyway. I've talked to the guy! His will is incredible! [he grunts.] You realise it's not all down to you to keep people happy in a relationship? It's a two-way street?

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