001 | video

[5055034455]

[Good morning, Heropa. Greeting you today is a man with a bright smile and an even brighter shirt — aqua, with a tie that seems to match only in theory — and a look in his eye that twinkles with confidence and certainty. Yes, here is a man who is not at all questioning this place and its motives; here is a man who is totally okay with the situation in which he's found himself; here is a man who is a very good, very convincing faker.]

Greetings and salutations, fellow ImPorts! Allow me to introduce myself: Saul Goodman, attorney at law and soon-to-be judge. I want you all to be able to think of me as a resource — as someone whose purpose here is to assist where and when I can, at least as far as legal issues are concerned. For consultation purposes only, though; I won't... uh, really have the time to open my own practice here, unfortunately.

[And that does seem like something that upsets him, but he allows that emotion in for all of two seconds before dismissing it and focusing back on sounding genuine and honest. Which he is, to some degree. It's just... kind of rare, is all. But this is what happens when you don't want to upset your kidnappers: You do what you think you have to.]

Anyway, I'm gonna have to spend some time catching up on what's actually going on in this place, legally and politically speaking. There are other lawyers and legal professional-types around, right? We should chat. Oh, and for all you daytime TV-watchers —

[THERE THEY ARE. THE FINGERGUNS.]

Get used to seeing this face.

Comments

[infomodder]

[WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE]

There are quite a few legal professional types around here. [NO REALLY WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS POST] Nice tie.

[5055034455]

[SO MANY THINGS, WILL.]

Thanks. :)

Are you the type to name names, or should I wait for them to crawl out of the woodwork on their own?

[infomodder]

[Saul u need 2 call someone]

Depends on what you're looking for. Just anyone involved?

[Stalker game is being tested right now. WHY OF COURSE HE DOES NOT KNOW IF HE DOESN'T TALK TO THEM THAT WOULD BE SILLY]

[5055034455]

Pretty much. Lawyers, law enforcement, judges, government agents, etc. etc. What I need is someone to paint me a picture, you know?

[infomodder]

[Insert a list of all the same fucking names everyone else has provided, just days late on player's end yes thank you.]

There's plenty of people who did work with it back where they're from but haven't kept it here, too, from what I've seen. Used to work with the FBI, got a bait shop when I arrived. It happens.

[Saul might read s-h before that "It" and he might be right.]

[5055034455]

Whoa, downgrade. You can't work for the FBI here?

[infomodder]

If I wanted to, probably.

[That's some serious bullshit...well, Chilton had offered him a clean bill of health. Technically, he could. It just wouldn't be ethical and that's bad. He needs a break from being bad and bad things in general. It won't happen. #Baltimore]

They don't always route you right back to a similar career is what I was more focusing on.

[Yes no one talk about Will Graham he's so boring.]

[5055034455]

Are you a fan of fishing, at least?

[infomodder]

It's my hobby.

[One of them.]

Might not get the same career, but something that still fits in one way or another. They have some idea of what they're doing.

[But sometimes they're laughing behind the scenes, he has the feeling.]

[5055034455]

I had an uncle whose hobby was fishing. Do you have one of those big dead ones up on your wall?

[infomodder]

No. I eat my catches, usually. I've given them out before, but they don't go on my wall.

[Only a small group of people know about his cannibalism problems (and some more than him, oh boy), he can say this and get away with. Sort of.]

Do you want one behind you on the bench?

[Because everyone in the elite circles looks more impressive and also like a gigantic douchelord with an enormous marlin behind them. "Yes, I caught this, I'm so well-rounded and awesome, worship me." Granted, he totally broke into psychiatric offices to leave them without asking, so Saul's getting something like tact on Will's part.]

[5055034455]

[Saul is pretty sure he should have like, the state seal of Florida behind his bench, not the state fish.]

That's a real kind offer. I'll see what my set designers think.

[infomodder]

[There are so many, he could never hope to keep up. Just have a wall of dead fish. Hello, I'm respectable.]

It's not reel kind if it gets me another trip out. [FISHING JOKES CORAL] Do you already have a seemingly stoic bailiff who is guaranteed to only speak if it makes people laugh, full of one-liners and sarcasm underneath the veneer of professionalism?

[5055034455]

[Reely, dude?]

Not yet, but here's hoping.

[infomodder]

[Reely reely, Shrek.]

Need a solid supporting cast to keep your spot running. [The witty kind that crack jokes even when things are going to shit, preferably.] Good luck with finding the right one.

[let the right one in your courtroom, saul]

[5055034455]

Thanks. Good luck with your fishing. And thx again for the info :)

[infomodder]

[These frikkin emoticons.]

Anytime :)

[That took forever to decide to include. That.

Stupid fucking smiley face.

Which is nothing like his own never smiling face, but oh well. He's not smiling. Not now. Not reading other conversations and wondering if he should say anything (or what to say). It's really more of that constant :( or 8( but that's not very appreciated. So fake-ass smiling faces it is.]