001 | video

[5055034455]

[Good morning, Heropa. Greeting you today is a man with a bright smile and an even brighter shirt — aqua, with a tie that seems to match only in theory — and a look in his eye that twinkles with confidence and certainty. Yes, here is a man who is not at all questioning this place and its motives; here is a man who is totally okay with the situation in which he's found himself; here is a man who is a very good, very convincing faker.]

Greetings and salutations, fellow ImPorts! Allow me to introduce myself: Saul Goodman, attorney at law and soon-to-be judge. I want you all to be able to think of me as a resource — as someone whose purpose here is to assist where and when I can, at least as far as legal issues are concerned. For consultation purposes only, though; I won't... uh, really have the time to open my own practice here, unfortunately.

[And that does seem like something that upsets him, but he allows that emotion in for all of two seconds before dismissing it and focusing back on sounding genuine and honest. Which he is, to some degree. It's just... kind of rare, is all. But this is what happens when you don't want to upset your kidnappers: You do what you think you have to.]

Anyway, I'm gonna have to spend some time catching up on what's actually going on in this place, legally and politically speaking. There are other lawyers and legal professional-types around, right? We should chat. Oh, and for all you daytime TV-watchers —

[THERE THEY ARE. THE FINGERGUNS.]

Get used to seeing this face.

Comments

text.

[immigrantpunk]

hey i'd watch you
so would my mom if she was here i bet
you need a good motto

[Oh Jayden, this man is miles ahead of you...]

[5055034455]

It's "Better Call Saul!" back home. But that won't really work here.

[immigrantpunk]

ha i like it tho
it's catchy

[5055034455]

Sure was. Business was booming.

[immigrantpunk]

sucks to be kidnapped right in the middle of that

[5055034455]

Not the first time it's happened. First time I've been brought to an alternate dimension though.

[immigrantpunk]

wait really?

[5055034455]

Really really.

[immigrantpunk]

cmon bro don't leave me hanging here

wow that was not the right icon in the previous tag let's try again

[5055034455]

Before this, it was a desert. Tied me up, showed me the ditch they were gonna presumably leave me in, the whole deal. Lemme tell ya: NOT FUN

LMAO omg ps i checked the housing and THESE GUYS ARE ROOMMATES we need to do something with that

[immigrantpunk]

whoa
were they mad about a case or something

YES i've been meaning to set up a log but wanted to get my tags under control first. soon!!

[5055034455]

They were mad because I wouldn't take their case.

EXCELLENT their other new roommie is a freaking dinosaur so there's that

[immigrantpunk]

didn't they know this probably wouldn't help

omg amazing

[5055034455]

They're not the brightest bulbs, you know what I mean?

i know right

[immigrantpunk]

yeah i'm getting that

okok i'm gonna set up a log sometime today/tonight with a bbq happening, keep an eye out!

[5055034455]

But everything worked out in the end and no one ended up in a ditch.

YEEAHHH

[immigrantpunk]

happy ending

[5055034455]

As happy an ending as a story like that can get.

[And then they all ran off together and made tons of money selling meth!]

[immigrantpunk]

details

[5055034455]

I took their case, everything worked out, and no one wound up dead. The end.

[immigrantpunk]

haha i meant who cares about the details
but thanks for the recap

not here

[hostage]

[Awwwwkwaaaard.]

[5055034455]

[YEAH, IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD.]