maskormenace | [ video ]

Entry tags:

[ video ]

[Having just awoken from a dreaming session that's apparently borne no results, Ronan is draped lazily across the hammock in the Meadows' garden, a full-grown raven perched on his shoulder with her face tucked against his neck. She's still sleeping.]

Hypothetically...

[Ronan isn't quite looking at the camera, but it's the network he's addressing.]

If you had to leave this world for another - not home, just... another world - what would you hope to find there? What would you need to make it alright? Besides your friends and family or whatever.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Supreme Leader, if we're going by titles I have earned rather than inherited.

am i supposed to be calling you that

Considering how thoroughly you enjoy my favour?
Only when we have an audience.

And only if you can think it with a straight face.

noted

[f o r c e, he's going to say it in front of Dameron. Isn't he.
No, it'll be worse. Somehow it'll be worse. That is going to be kept right in his pocket for the most inopportune moment, and Kylo has absolutely only himself to blame.

...change... the subject...?]

You were wrong anyway. Not weeties or weet-i-crunch.

what is it then

[It's very nearly another joke, some flippant remark about any number of earth-specific consumables— but in the end, Kylo finds himself thinking about the one and only thing he would want to find, taking his first step into a whole new world with Ronan at his side.]

Space.

Room for everything we would build together.

[That's far too romantic a sentiment to be answered over text. The idea of Ronan's presence whispers into Kylo's mind like breath on the back of his neck, and then Ronan is there, arms encircling Kylo's waist from behind, lips brushing against his nape in an almost-kiss.]

[Ronan doesn't have to travel far— Kylo is in the kitchen, where he'd been scrolling the network while fixing himself a snack (as convenient an excuse to take a break from writing as any).

His eyes have already drifted shut by the time Ronan is physically present, the gentle thrill of contact shivering over his skin just before it happens. He's more than content to abandon his phone on the counter and lean into his embrace.]

Mmm, hello.

Hey.

[Ronan scrapes his teeth along the crook of Kylo's neck, gently nibbling. He pulls himself a little bit closer, like he intends to start climbing up onto Kylo's back, though he doesn't actually go that far.]

What're you eating?

[An earlier excuse to take a break from writing had been the drive into De Chima for supplies— some of them are spread around the kitchen. Kylo either has absolutely no idea where anything is supposed to go or doesn't see any point in putting things away.

He can't help the involuntary jolt as Ronan's teeth find a particularly sensitive spot, but he's not about to start wrestling him off him for such a minor (and oddly pleasant?) infraction.]

Nothing, yet.

[He hardly notices how he's already shifting, accommodating and encouraging Ronan's attentions, basking in his affection.]

I was going to make myself a sandwich--

[Ooo, fancy alien food. Which explains the array of ingredients and condiments (only about half of them suitable) scattered on the counter, the chopping board and the gigantic knife that Kylo clearly chose because it was the biggest rather than the most suitable for the task.]

[Peering over Kylo's shoulder, Ronan appraises the spread of ingredients before them. He doesn't consider himself a chef, by any means, but he can tell there are far too many items here to create a single, coherent, edible sandwich.

Someone better might point that out. Ronan merely lays another kiss to Kylo's neck.]

Don't let me interrupt you.

[Honestly, Kylo's interest in brute-force unlocking the many and varied secrets of sandwich artistry has all but vanished by this point. He lifts his hands and runs them smoothly over the loop of Ronan's arms round his waist, capturing the embrace with one of his own and holding it close.]

What would you need?

[To make it alright, he means. Besides your friends and family or whatever.]

I already have it all.

[That's the strange thing about being what he is. He can have anything, and he does, right here in his personal Eden. Just like the Barns, though, what's missing at the Meadows are the most important pieces: the people who used to inhabit the place.

His arms twine just a bit tighter around Kylo. Ronan has never begged someone to stay with him and he's not about to start now. But Kylo surely knows it already, that what Ronan truly needs is someone to remain by his side. His kind do not survive in solitude.]

[Kylo loves each and every time he feels Ronan's hold on him tighten, no matter how small the degree— he loves the choice.
I want this, is what it feels like Ronan's saying. More of this. Kylo's never going to get tired of hearing it. Never.]

Would you make it the same? [It's a soft question, almost murmured as he turns his face towards him. His hold on Ronan tightens, too.] In our new world?

Yes.

[A professional would probably tell Ronan to move on. Why rebuild his home as a shrine to the dead and departed? Why remind himself every day of all the things he's lost?

Ronan has never been one to move on, physically or emotionally. The only reason the Meadows isn't an exact copy of the Barns is because of the input from its former occupants. The Meadows had been a collaborative project. On his own, Ronan would have crafted it entirely from the memories of his home in Singer's Falls.]

But I wouldn't stop there, if you were with me. It'd be your home, too, so it should have everything you want in it.

[Perhaps Ronan's refusal to let go of his loss is how he's able to recognise what it is that Kylo needs, where everyone else has missed the mark. Perhaps it's how he knows not to try and cure him, having the rare understanding that Kylo loves his wounds, that he holds them precious and guards them jealously. Why would Kylo want to be restored, when all he has left of everything he's lost is the shape of his scars?

Certainly the reason Kylo has been able to begin the process of healing here is that Ronan has never expected him to do so by replacing his anger and hurt. Unlike anyone else, Ronan's always seemed to understand that Kylo would poison the very earth to ensure nothing could grow on the sacred ground of his loss; that much of his rage and fury is designed to protect it.

Kylo loves Ronan for being the first to understand what he means when he says that the past is dead. If Ronan wants to take his dead with him, why would Kylo object? Ronan's already shown him that new doesn't have to come at the cost of the old.

He presses his lips to Ronan's cheek, but it isn't quite enough. His hand raises, fingers playing indulgently through his short-clipped hair, keeping him close.]

You know I'd go with you, don't you? If I could choose. I'd go with you.

[...he hopes Ronan knows. He should do. Shouldn't he?]

I know.

[Ronan has spent endless hours in the deepest recesses of Kylo's mind. His devotion will never be in doubt. Kylo would cross galaxies and destroy worlds for him. Literally. Anything that might ever come between them will be utterly obliterated.

But there will always be factors beyond Kylo's control. Everyone Ronan ever loved has vanished, died, been unmade, erased from time. In nineteen short years, he's lost more than most people ever get to have. He should count himself lucky for that, maybe. To have had all that he had. What he wouldn't give, though, to just be allowed to keep something.]

I wouldn't wanna go without you.

[Kylo's fingers still, his mind caught on the idea of their inevitable separation.

He knows it will happen one way or another. Even if they beat all odds and live out full, rich lives in which neither of them fails to keep up with the other— for all his power, Kylo is still only human. Ronan, as much as he is infused with magic, is still human, too. Human enough to die.

It isn't a new horror: Kylo knows death. He's been certain he will be consumed by one side of it or the other from long before this moment. It doesn't seize his heart with fear, though he knows it will destroy him. When he loses Ronan, he isn't certain there will be enough of him left to survive the wound.

But what will Ronan have, should Kylo be the one taken first? What of Kylo will Ronan choose to carry with him, part of the blueprint pattern to be rebuilt perpetually in memorial? What of him would Ronan preserve?]

Ronan, [he murmurs, twisting in his arms to face him. Something of that question lingers in his eyes, though he doesn't voice it.] Would you dream with me?

Not my dream. I want to be in yours. Can you do it?

[As Kylo turns to face him, Ronan gives him something of a quizzical look. It's been a long time since anyone has wanted to visit his dreams. And why would they? They can't harvest their own fantasies out of Ronan's head.]

Sure, yeah. I can do it.

[Should he ask?]

...Why?

[Ronan really should know the answer to that question by now, Kylo thinks, though he supposes it might be more of a directed question. Why now, rather than why would you want to.]

Because it's yours.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ video ]

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

action;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject