(no subject)

[made_up_names]

[ So here's a new kid on the network tonight. Trying to find an angle that lets him hide at least some of his nervousness. Or at least lets him use it to channel his best impression of a Definitely Normal Team, No Superheroics Here Honest. He mostly just looks awkward and nerdy, which is … accurate anyway, so let’s go with that. ]

Hey - um, so I’m Peter. Peter Parker. And I just got here, and -

[ He’s read through what’s left of his files, he’s read through the last couple weeks of posts just to get a feel for things. After that, he has one incredibly important question: ]

Did I seriously just barely miss out on a Death Star being here? For real? That’s not fair. Please tell me it’s coming back at some point.

[ That’s probably an objectively incorrect thing to want, but. Look. That would have made his entire life. He could die happy. For the second time. Well, the second time dying, first time dying happy. Anyway, he turns reluctantly to the list of actual serious questions he made. Not enough time to ask them all (unless he just takes in a breath and rapid fire asks all of them in thirty seconds) so he’ll just pick one for now. ]

So, school. How is that working out for people who still hafta go? And can you like … argue with it at all? Because I’m all for finishing high school, but this is my third time going into sophomore year and I’m starting to feel like that movie with the Ghostbuster being depressed in Pennsylvania.

(( OOC: Spoilers for Far From Home are likely, but I can avoid them if necessary! ))

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[made_up_names]

[ That’s not a good sign, is it. Peter’s eyes widen a bit, startled by the change in tone as well as the privacy. ]

Explain? Explain what?

[dragony]

That's no, then.

[ Other people are the worst. She sighs, mostly off-mic. ]

Short version is, you were brought to this place from your "world," and others might have been brought from "your" world, too, but the Porter doesn't just draw from one place, or one time. That means you might meet people here whose last memories are things in your relative past, or who come from a time to your relative future. The difference might be short, but it can be years. Decades. Centuries.

But, because there are multiple dimensions, there are multiple histories, multiple versions of a world — different versions of people you might know. Different. Versions of you.

There's no real way to know, for sure, if someone is from "your" world's history, or from one like it. There's no "real", or "more true" version of people. Even the people you meet here — not everyone stays, and sometimes the Porter will bring the same... type, of a person, more than once, but often they don't remember being here, because they weren't here. They're "that person" from a different history. And people can be very different, depending on their circumstances.

[ This is the short version???? ]

Infinite dimensions, and infinite possibilities, so — sometimes a life like yours is replicated in a story in another world. Some of the people here, they might seem as stories in yours. ... Normally, people have the good sense not to say, "hey, welcome to a new world, you're a fake person with a fictional life," because — well, how cruel is that? Assuming that your existence is somehow more real, or theirs less, because of a quirk of improbability. But, unfortunately, many people are idiots who have never experienced a moment of empathy in their entire lives.

[ She feels VERY strongly about the fourth wall, thanks. ]

... So. Yeah. You're not the first Peter Parker to come here, but, it doesn't mean he is who you will be. He was who he was, and you are who you are. Your lives are your own, to do with what you want, but the chance exists for similarities. Things you experienced, people you knew. The kinds of jokes you tell. But... being similar isn't being the same.

[made_up_names]

[ That’s a hell of a lot. A little too much; he’s silent in the wake of it, just. Processing. Trying to respond.

For starters, he now feels incredibly guilty about the Death Star enthusiasm. Also, a lot guilty about all the Star Wars characters he freaked out about - and glad that he hadn’t done worse to their faces. At least he’d kept it to plausible deniability? And he hadn’t called anyone fictional to their faces.

The rest ... god. He swallows, thickly. ]

So the guy I saw on the network. He really was a version of Peter Parker. Does that mean - does that mean that everyone knows I’m Spider-Man already?

[dragony]

[ And look, she was even nice enough to keep her judgment to slight, deniable passive-aggression in a locked conversation. She's trying!! ]

It's hit or miss, really, but you should assume more hits than misses. [ A little calm, but sympathetic. ] Most, like, regular people don't dig back very far, even when they should. Regular people might assume, since their memories are longer.

... What does it change, for you, if people know?

[made_up_names]

It changes everything. It means the people I love get targeted, and I can’t live a normal life at all, and social media is just done forever. My twitter inbox was full of nazis making death threats within twenty minutes of getting exposed back home.

[ So it’s a very, very sore topic for him. ]

[dragony]

Fucking nazis.

[ SORE SUBJECT FOR EVERYONE, WITH GOOD REASON. Ugh. ]

So that's what it changed, back home. What does it change, here? If you have loved ones here, they'd be imPorts, too — that means they would have powers of their own, even if they didn't before. There's no real... well, "normal" life for you here, even if you didn't wear a mask. And social media is....... um, it depends on your audience. But, I haven't heard anyone getting, like, threats. Especially not like that.

The things holding you back — are any of your limits here?

[made_up_names]

[ That’s ... honestly a good argument. Of the people from back home, he’s only seen fellow superheroes. And there’s no doubt in his mind that Thor, Wanda, and freaking Captain Marvel are all entirely capable of kicking his supervillains’ asses. If May or MJ or Ned were here that might be different? Depending on their powers. But they’re not here. And he can’t have a normal life, and ... ]

It’s part of who I am. I can’t just give it up.

[dragony]

Then don't. Be who you are.

Besides, they make a bigger deal out of things if it's a mystery to be solved, anyway. If you are who you say you are the whole time, well, that's just what normal is, right?

The truth wants to exist in lighted spaces. Let it.

[made_up_names]

[ God. He can’t cope with this right now. ]

I need to think about it.

[dragony]

Sure. I mean, it effects you most of all, right? [ shruggies. ] There's a lot to get used to.

[ A pause. ] ... My name's Ruka, by the way. I've... been around, a while. [ Understatement. ] I was around when the other Parker was, but we weren't particularly close, or anything. ... He was a good man, though. Did a lot of good work.

It's... nothing you have to chase after, if you decide to do something else, but... ah, most people like knowing, whether or not their different dimension selves were unrepentant assholes. Yours wasn't.

[made_up_names]

[ A good man, she says. That answers a couple of implied questions. His shoulders slump a little. ]

Good to know I wasn’t a dick, at least. I’ll take it.

... I’m a lot younger than he was, aren’t I?

[dragony]

Yeah. He was... somewhere in his thirties, I think. He came and went a few times, and it's hard to keep track when it's like that. So... fifteen, twenty years?

... Swings in age like that aren't very common, but it's not unheard of.

[made_up_names]

[ Thirties. God. He can’t even picture living that long now, given everything that’s happened. ]

That’s more than twice my age.

[dragony]

Well, You're still in high school, right? Double isn't that much.

Is it that surprising?

[made_up_names]

Is it sad if I say I didn’t think I was gonna live that long?

[dragony]

I don't think it's sad.

... I think it sounds like, you've had a difficult time. And, even if you can't remember the feeling of it, you have died, haven't you?

You don't have to know where a bruise comes from for it to hurt, or spread.

[made_up_names]

[ Well. He was trying not to be obvious about it, but here he is anyway. ]

No, I remember what it felt like. Spider-senses gave me everything in HD.

[ For normal people it had been painless, nearly instantaneous. For Peter, with his healing factor fighting it and his senses blaring at him from every part of himself ... well, he hadn't felt very good, had he. ]

[dragony]

I'm sorry.

[ Her voice is a little quieter, but even condolence is steady. It doesn't sound like she's surprised, though it's not really anything to do with Peter, or having known other versions of him.

It's only that she's very familiar with suffering. ]

It wasn't like that for anyone else, was it? That you know of. ... You kept it to yourself.

[made_up_names]

[ He just nods faintly. ]

Yeah. Not that dissolving is fun for anyone, or that I wanted them to hurt, but ...

[dragony]

Mmm.

[ A soft, sympathetic noise. Truthfully, this seems like a lot to get into — especially for a first talk, especially when he doesn't know her at all — but that just means he's been desperate to talk to anyone about it, doesn't it? And there's always the safety of telling a stranger. ]

I couldn't say if anyone has felt... exactly as you do, but... death isn't an uncommon thing, that people have experienced. Some of the people you meet here are... properly dead, for keeps, in their own worlds, and were brought back to life when they arrived here. Others resurrected in their own places, before coming here. And, here, death... doesn't tend to hold us for very long.

Most of us know how it feels, to die. [ Herself included, in more ways than most. ] ... For that much, at least... you don't have to bear it all on your own.

[made_up_names]

[ He’ll probably realize how heavy he’s being in a few minutes; he really shouldn’t be discussing this with someone who doesn’t know him. But it is a relief expressing this to anyone. Especially a stranger who won’t follow up by asking how he’s going to take Iron Man’s place, or what his plan is for the next alien invasion. Or even well-meaning concern about him specifically, because he’s Peter Parker.

Anyway, he takes a deep breath. Sympathy is a good way to get him out of his own head. ]

I don’t know if I should be relieved or horrified. That - that so many people know what that’s like.

[ And the fact that the dead can show up here... should he be hopeful? He’s not sure if he can handle seeing Stark again. It’s bad enough reading his posts in the archives. ]

[dragony]

Feeling both ways is probably the right answer.

[ Hey, at least her only knowing other Parkers and also that version of Stark means she's much less likely to even think about bringing up that subject. Small mercies?? ]

It's... a lot to adjust to.

[made_up_names]

Both. I can do both.

[ Yeah, that's for the best. He'll hurt himself enough all on his own. ]

Does it ever get easier?

[dragony]

... Yeah. It doesn't get... easy, usually, and it never really goes away completely, but you get distance from it. The more you live in the world, the more buffer you'll get. It'll still come to you in the quiet, and in the dark, but... if you can find things loud enough, and bright enough, to carry with you, then... it's not as bad.

[made_up_names]

[ Peter's just quiet for a moment at that, an ache in his expression. ]

How long have you been here?