audio.

[batricide]

You know, I've been at this a long time, and the fact that so-called heroes are incapable of basic pattern recognition blows my mind.

[ Damian clicks his tongue, a sharp little tt. Thanks to a brush with some Red Kryptonite he's not being shy about his utter disdain for your average kind of superheroing. ]

How many times does someone have to let monsters go free to service their own conscience and keep this little heroc farce going before they're just as culpable for their crimes? Throw them in the same prison they just busted out of, that's basically just a slap on the wrist. Why is anyone surprised when they just turn around and start killing agan? Anybody could solve the problem at the root, but they don't because that'd just kill their little ego trip.

Really, if you ask me? Some people just deserve to die.

Comments

[hatestrashcans]

Look at it this way: It could be worse! At least things have happened in the last century.

Imagine living that long in like... cave-person times. Booooriiing. Like oooh, Oog found some blue berries this year YAY.

[crassidy]

Oh, christ, yeah I got the good century, that's for sure. I seen the rise of cars, good drugs, computers, phones, internet. All that shite.

[hatestrashcans]

You mind if I ask what you are, or is that like asking a woman how old she is?

[ He's honestly just curious. He's met plenty of non-humans, so he's not going to freak or anything. ]

[crassidy]

Hah, it's fine, lad, not a secret 'round here. I'm a vampire, 120 years old. Right bleedin' monster, I am.

[hatestrashcans]

Is it terrible that I just want to know if blood tastes different or if it all tastes the same?

I'm sorry, but immortality with the same food every day sounds terrible.

I get why you'd freak people out. Oh no, we're not the apex predator, shock horror.

[crassidy]

I don't eat the same food every day, mate. I eat normal food too just like the rest of yeh.

'Sides, saying all blood is the 'same' food is like saying all meat is the same food. All vegetables the same. Blood from a cow tastes different than blood from a pig, just like the meat do.

[hatestrashcans]

Oh, so it's more like an add-on than a replacement. Cool.

You know, good point. I never thought of that. Thanks for answering my stupid human questions!

[ He gives him a thumbs up. ]

[crassidy]

Uh-huh. A-and less of the "apex predator" shite, alright? Most of us aren't bloodthirsty murderers. No more than humans, christ, probably less so.

[hatestrashcans]

Sorry, I meant it in the sense that we really don't like the idea of being on the receiving end of all the fucked up stuff we do.

Because I'm not disagreeing with you: Humans are Fucked Up.

[crassidy]

Yeah, well. Good. If folk actually stopped to learn a thing or two and not jump straight to the violence, we'd all be in a better spot. Christ, I don't even eat humans and yet they're tryna kill me every chance they got back home. Shite, is what it is.

[hatestrashcans]

That's fair. People suck. We're dealing with that at home. There's this alien species, the Hork Bajir, and they look terrifying. I mean they're over 7 feet tall and covered in biological razor blades. They can slice their own heads open and live. There's a free group of them on Earth and some people are freaking out.

Thing is, they're herbivores who eat tree bark.

It is shit and people suck.

[crassidy]

Mate, that don't sound like an alien species, it sounds like a child's drawin'. Feckin' covered in razor blades, jaysus, how does anyone hug an alien like that?

[hatestrashcans]

You don't.

Just... don't hug aliens, okay?

[crassidy]

Why the feck not?

[hatestrashcans]

Because it's a human cultural construct and trapping people plus close body contact with another species without warning is freaky?

[crassidy]

Christ, I'm not gonna do non-consensual hugging! What sorta guy do you take me for, eh? You ask first.

[hatestrashcans]

Well then you don't have to worry about hugging a Hork-Bajir, because they wouldn't let you.

Now me in morph would, but if you seriously ask to hug the walking razor blades, that's your own fault.

[crassidy]

You in your morph? Whassat?

[hatestrashcans]

I'm a shapeshifter.

I can do Hork-Bajir: The razor blade aliens. So if it's me you ask to hug, I'll just let you and laugh at you. Fair warning.

[crassidy]

You can shapeshift into a razor blade alien? Brilliant. What else can you be?

[hatestrashcans]

Anything if I acquire it first. Right now, I can be about 30 different animals. Dogs, gorilla, polar bear, cheetah, dolphin, bat... you know.

[crassidy]

C-can you do a unicorn?!

[hatestrashcans]

Wait, seriously?

[ Marco's voice is disbelieving. ]

Uh, if they were real and I could touch one, sure.

[crassidy]

Well, obviously they're bloody real. Why wouldn't they be?

[hatestrashcans]

Then sure. If you find one and I touch it, sure.