[Video] - 01

[weapabilities]

[ A very lanky man with messy white hair appears, raking some of the strands away from his face in agitation, only to have them fall back into place. ]

I'm going to start by saying that the displacement of my natural body is severely upsetting my energies. I hate to be "that mech", but I honestly don't know how much more of this I can tolerate. My chakras are in disarray, I itch everywhere, I keep forgetting that breathing is a thing that needs to happen, and the apartment lobby won't even allow me to offer the service of optimizing the energy flow through the building! I'm just feeling a lot of aggression here and quite honestly I'm catching a lot of very uncomfortable vibes. Outside of being physically uncomfortable that is.

[ He pushes his hair back again, fussing, attempting to tuck it behind his ear to no avail. He dismisses it again in favor of continuing. ]

That does bring me to the point that my swords are still missing. I realize at this point? Wielding them isn't realistic, what with being a fraction of my regular size. Yes, sure, I get that, but I still like to have them. They're important. So if anyone happens to see any outstandingly large swords around, chances are they're mine. I'd appreciate if you contacted me. I can't offer much as a reward. Perhaps I could offer to lead you through a meditation session? Or cleanse your focal energy passages? Anyways, the point being, swords. Big ones.

[ He gestures, as to the size of the blades. Yes, very big. Like he was telling a big fish story or something. His hair falls back in his face and he huffs at it, growing increasingly more irritated as he attempts to arrange it again. ]

Also could someone lend me something to tie this back? Or better yet, something I can use to shave this all off? I can't stand all this fur!

[ Relenting, he shuts off the feed, and the audio cuts out mid-sigh. ]

Comments

[weapabilities]

I'm just looking for my swords, a little help and something to shave my fur off.

No need to get your energies crossed.

[paintjobs]

Fleshies call it hair. And — stop saying that!

[weapabilities]

Hmm.

Saying what? Energies?

[paintjobs]

Yes, that! It's ridiculous.

[weapabilities]

[weapabilities]

Energies energies energies!

[ HUMPERDINK HUMPERDINK HUMPERDINK. ]

[paintjobs]

Wha—stop that! What are you, a hundred years old?!

[weapabilities]

Hahahaha! Relax.

[paintjobs]

I'm perfectly relaxed! You relax.

[weapabilities]

I don't know. I'm sensing your chakras are misaligned.

[paintjobs]

If chakras were a real thing, I assure you mine would be perfecly aligned.

[weapabilities]

Mmm, I'm sorry to say but they aren't really, no wonder you're in a bad mood. How long has it been since you've had a good spiritual cleansing?

[ He's just doing it to be a pest. Ahh, reminds him of Ratchet. ]

[paintjobs]

What — I've never — I'm a medic, I really think I'd be the most qualified here to say that I'm in optimized condition, thank you.

[weapabilities]

I'm pretty qualified to say you're spiritually constipated.

[paintjobs]

That's almost amazing, I've never seen a mech spew so much scrap in one go.

[weapabilities]

You sound exactly like Ratchet.

[paintjobs]

I — what? [ well that's a new accusation ] I do not!

[weapabilities]

You do a bit! He's usually a fair bit sharper with the insults though.

[paintjobs]

[ pau...se...??? and he actually sounds a little confused: ] Is that a challenge?

[ THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE CALLING HIM NICER THAN A TOUCHY-FEELY AUTOBOT ]

[weapabilities]

Not really! Just saying.

[paintjobs]

Good. [ COLLECTING HIMSELF... ok now to save face. ] Because, honestly, that would be entirely too easy.

[weapabilities]

You haven't met Ratchet have you? I mean, my Ratchet?

[paintjobs]

Well. I've met a Ratchet.

[weapabilities]

And how was that?

[paintjobs]

He— [ he THANKED KNOCK OUT. for DOING SOMETHING. it was amazing. ] —...wasn't awful, all things considered. We worked together on something.