[Video] - 01

[weapabilities]

[ A very lanky man with messy white hair appears, raking some of the strands away from his face in agitation, only to have them fall back into place. ]

I'm going to start by saying that the displacement of my natural body is severely upsetting my energies. I hate to be "that mech", but I honestly don't know how much more of this I can tolerate. My chakras are in disarray, I itch everywhere, I keep forgetting that breathing is a thing that needs to happen, and the apartment lobby won't even allow me to offer the service of optimizing the energy flow through the building! I'm just feeling a lot of aggression here and quite honestly I'm catching a lot of very uncomfortable vibes. Outside of being physically uncomfortable that is.

[ He pushes his hair back again, fussing, attempting to tuck it behind his ear to no avail. He dismisses it again in favor of continuing. ]

That does bring me to the point that my swords are still missing. I realize at this point? Wielding them isn't realistic, what with being a fraction of my regular size. Yes, sure, I get that, but I still like to have them. They're important. So if anyone happens to see any outstandingly large swords around, chances are they're mine. I'd appreciate if you contacted me. I can't offer much as a reward. Perhaps I could offer to lead you through a meditation session? Or cleanse your focal energy passages? Anyways, the point being, swords. Big ones.

[ He gestures, as to the size of the blades. Yes, very big. Like he was telling a big fish story or something. His hair falls back in his face and he huffs at it, growing increasingly more irritated as he attempts to arrange it again. ]

Also could someone lend me something to tie this back? Or better yet, something I can use to shave this all off? I can't stand all this fur!

[ Relenting, he shuts off the feed, and the audio cuts out mid-sigh. ]

Comments

[lyingheart]

Meals shouldn't take that long. It's not that difficult...

Are you only eating ice cream?

[weapabilities]

Says you, who have been a human all their life and is an expert! It's weird and messy and difficult.

... No.

[ Yes. ]

[lyingheart]

Would you like help learning how to handle eating as a human? I know a few people who can help with something like that.

Ah. Stop doing that. Your body needs more than ice cream to function well.

[weapabilities]

... Maybe some help would be nice.

Mm. But nothing else is very good.

[ Hello yes, most of the robots are just manchildren. ]

[lyingheart]

[ Why does she continue to consort with these robots she doesn't even understand. ]

I'll see what I can do... and you're silly. How many different things have you tried?

[weapabilities]

I'm not silly.

I'm very serious.

At least ten.

[lyingheart]

That's hardly in the spirit of adventure. Ten things out of hundreds of thousands of different things to try?

[weapabilities]

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS? Who has time for that?!

[ BIG WHINE. ]

How am I supposed to suffer through that much stuff I don't like to find what I do? Have you ever eaten broccoli? It's cruel and unusual!

[lyingheart]

Forgive me, but you're how old? Is patience for the long lived not a virtue?

[weapabilities]

Five million-ish.

I'm plenty patient! I've just never had to put so much thought into fu- food before. And pretty much everything we eat is made of some variation of energon, and that's to everyone's palettes really.

[lyingheart]

Apply that patience. You're acting like a child. This is different, because human beings are different. It's not even about liking or not liking those differences... they're the ones you get to deal with. Complaining that it's not what you've had to do before is both pointless and obvious. I may have been born human, but I sure as hell am not familiar with the majority of the food I find here. Should I complain about that, too?

Take it as an adventure. Or an opportunity. A test of spirit. It's all better than field rations, for the most part.

[weapabilities]

Yes ma'am.

[lyingheart]

[ Something about him calling her ma'am is both wrong, and also amusing. But she'd meant it. Grow up, only in a deal with it sense. ]

Now what are you going to do?

[weapabilities]

Eat something other than ice cream.

[lyingheart]

Good. Glad to hear it.

[weapabilities]

Is broccoli something humans absolutely need?

[lyingheart]

No, but vegetables are good to have. Try some other kind. You don't need to like broccoli. It does have an odd flavor.

[weapabilities]

Oh good. I can live with that, then!

[lyingheart]

Mm. Eat well.

[weapabilities]

Thanks.