♪ video;

[borntobebard]

[ Having gained some confidence with this fancy tech over the week, Jaskier’s content enough to finally present his baby face to his adoring public, casual in his old school medieval shirt, unlaced to show part of his chest like the total hunk he believes himself to be. He begins with a soft throat clear, his voice carrying like a theatre performer, each word animated. ]

Greetings citizens of Maurtia Falls and beyond! It is I, Jaskier, your beloved bard, here to fill your undoubtedly mundane and murky lives with my brilliant light!

[ A perfect way to introduce himself is to neg everyone listening, right? ]

I seek heroes!

Yes, yes, each and every one of us has been granted such a title, but I require only the best, only the truly worthy among you to share my blessed company. In return, I promise authentic retellings of your adventures to all those that would listen. Stories to make a man weep, songs to get the crowds rejoicing, and poems so passionate that maidens will be lifting their petticoats at the mere mention of your name.

I will consider each applicant in a timely and fair manner, although a drink and some coin as cajolery wouldn’t go amiss.

[ A pause before he quickly admits: ] Bribes. I take bribes.

Thank you, and good day!

Comments

Video

[mysterioisthetruth]

Yes, yes, yes! You're hired!

We're starting pre-production this month and next month rehearsals!

[borntobebard]

Hired? Foooor what, exactly?

[mysterioisthetruth]

I have an upcoming performance which will be edited into a short film and I need promoters.

And also someone to brush up a script. Give it some heroic punch!

[The man's style very matches his own so he was immediately drawn in.]

[borntobebard]

Oh! Well I was rather looking to aid in heroic adventures. You know, see the world, experience great deeds and fantastic feats, get a real feel for all these "super powers" that all our kind have.

There's not quite so many tales to write about when it comes to performance work. Honest work, don't get me wrong, but it's hardly inspiring.

[mysterioisthetruth]

You can do that too. This can be a side project.

I could always tell you of my real adventures as a hero and you can let that inspire you.

[borntobebard]

My good sir, between adventuring, composing and my current work that has been assigned to me, I'm running rather thin on hours in the day.

[mysterioisthetruth]

Are you refusing this exciting opportunity?

[borntobebard]

Oh, I may be able to aid here and there, but my time is extremely precious. My talents are frequently being pursued by theatre troupes and college masters alike, but I have committed to a far more noble endeavour of informing serfs and royalty alike of the breathtaking feats of like minded adventurers.

[mysterioisthetruth]

I'll make a note of you.

[borntobebard]

Well, what is this script of yours? What performance are you aspiring to?

[mysterioisthetruth]

Honestly, I may have to fire my current screenwriter as he doesn't listen at all and can't follow simple instructions about story and plot.

[He takes a breath, annoyed then continues.]

But anyway. The basic idea is myself, out in the city of De Chima, saving the people from a villainous threat with my amazing powers. I just hired the person to play villain. He looks great! Should fit the part well. Everything is coming together and it will look spectacular. That much I can guarantee. You'll never see a better show.

[borntobebard]

A... performance about your own amazing power? [ Whew, this guy might actually have Jaskier beat when it comes to ridiculousness. ]

Sounds like you've got most of it sorted. Was it just a bit of polish it needed?

[mysterioisthetruth]

I want some of that gift you claim to have about getting the crowd rejoicing. So - publicity! Maybe you are great at getting the people hyped up?

Of course I can give you a demonstration in order to inspire you before the actual performance.

[borntobebard]

I could certainly write something by way of publicity, for the right price, of course.

[ At the offer of a demonstration he waves a hand dismissively, brows furrowing in thought. ] I care less about the theatrics of it, though, and more about it's purpose. What message is being sent? What are it's values?

[mysterioisthetruth]

Values? It's entertaining! And a show of my power. What I can do.

[So, very shallow and purely for his own self interest. He's showing himself off - and hoping for a lot of praise.]

People will be awestruck. Do you think you can handle such an important project?

[borntobebard]

[ Jaskier is picking up on this self interest loud and clear. It reminds him of some of the Kings, Lords and rulers he's encountered, the ones that demand praise for their positions of power. ]

And you think the audience will be receptive to that, do you? I've been told many are not fond of our existence or the powers we possess, you don't think there's a chance this will add fuel to that uh, metaphorical fire?

[mysterioisthetruth]

Who doesn't like a good show?

Not everyone dislikes imPorts here. Some of us get mobbed for autographs daily.

[borntobebard]

Oh, I'm all for an entertaining spectacle, I'd just hold some concern about such fanfaronade coming across as... vapid.

[mysterioisthetruth]

Then it's up to the script to give it more depth.

[borntobebard]

[ He can't help but cant his head backwards with an amused chuckle. ]

Pity you fired your writer.

[mysterioisthetruth]

I haven't fired Loki yet but he's dangerously close to crossing a lot of inappropriate lines.

[borntobebard]

[ The chuckle rolls off into a sympathetic tut. ]

Oh, pity, not writing your dick size as big enough, is he?

[mysterioisthetruth]

Look, that's part of the problem. Him and his erotic fanfiction fantasies have no place in this family friendly performance.

[borntobebard]

It sounds like, to me, you need to do it yourself. Your amazing heroics don't extent to script writing, I take it?

[mysterioisthetruth]

I have enough on my plate. I'm the star. I'm directing, producing, doing all the effects and supervising everything else. I need somebody who can give me a great story and script to match the expectations of my adoring public.