text;

[cantgetanyworse]

I'm looking for a personal trainer.

ImPort or a recommendation for one who isn't one of us. I can't say I mind, though I'd prefer the former.
I suddenly find myself with a startling amount of knowledge in self-defence and a frustrating lack of the physical prowess required to put it into practice.

Also... if anyone sees a small jackalope with stunted horns in De Chima, could they please let me know. She managed to gnaw through the front door and escape while I was gone - hungry, I expect. Her name is Sylvi.



((anyone is free to find Sylvi!))

Comments

video;

[plentystrong]

[ Holds a very fighty jackalope into the camera by its legs. ]

So I'm not supposed to eat this?

[cantgetanyworse]

[!!!!!!!!]

No! You are absolutely not supposed to eat her!

[plentystrong]

[ Puts on a long-suffering face. ]

But what am I gonna have for supper?

[cantgetanyworse]

Something else.

[Oh god, oh godddd.]

I will buy you supper. Just don't eat her.

text;

[thecacophony]

That's a real convoluted way to say that you want to beat the shit out of somebody.

[cantgetanyworse]

That isn't what I want at all.

[thecacophony]

Well, what is it then?

You've got to admit, it's a strange request. Unless you just think you're in danger?

text, private.

[anathemic]

[ Anathema sits with her communicator window open for a while. This is... a weird spot to be in. She and Jane had been casual acquaintances beforehand, mostly linked via Adam, but now years' worth of friendship in the City make her feel like she knows Jane Porter, really knows her, what the other woman's like when she has her back to the wall and they're trapped in a hopeless situation—

But also, theoretically, none of that happened. Or did it?

Does Jane even remember it too?? Jesus christ. This universe is weird. ]

Hi.

[cantgetanyworse]

[Jane, too, feels that connection of years that never really happened when she sees Anathema's name on the screen. Since they got back here she's been trying to adjust to feeling older than her years, to having experiences that were of debatable reality, and she doesn't reply immediately.

Eventually, though... she has to.]

Hello, Anathema. I'm glad to hear from you.

[anathemic]

[ Phew. What's even stranger, in all this, would have been carrying around a one-sided memory of everything that had happened. Like it was some dream that only you'd had. ]

Me too, even if the circumstances are pretty bizarre. I'm guessing-- Does that mean you remember everything from the City, too?

video

[notyuvan]

[At first she starts the video as her warframe, the expressionless pheudo-metal face looking into the communicator before the Tenno Transfers out and watches Jane a moment.]

What kind of self-defense? I can't properly train anyone in hand-to-hand or with swords, not like this. And my Warframe wouldn't be a good alternative, no tells to learn from. I could do basics though.

[cantgetanyworse]

[Making the initial post a text had come from a habit formed in years that had taken place in another world, but it still takes a moment before she decides she wants to respond to the video in kind.

When she does, she gives a small shake of her head.]

I have the training. That is... I had it. I remember how to move, how to... defend myself. But I did it all somewhere else. [The memories are still muddled. It hasn't been easy to adjust back to being here.]

I need to train my body to be able to do it again. Strength and reflexes. Can you help with that?

[notyuvan]

Hm, maybe? Strength could just come from training regularly, the reflexes would need more outside work. I could try to think of something.

[Nothing like how the Dax had trained them. That would be unspeakably cruel to a normal human. Elite Orokin soldiers, these people are not.] Could start small, dodging and catching balls. Then up to changing training course, if this place has one of those.

un: threshold | video

[onthe_threshold]

What's in it for the trainer?

[cantgetanyworse]

[She blinks, as if taken aback by the question.]

I can pay.

[onthe_threshold]

Okay.

So to clarify, you've got matrial arts knowledge but you need cardio, strength training, probably something for balance and flexibility?

I'm not a personal trainer by trade, but I've trained people for combat conditions.

[choosetruth]

If your art skills carry over to this world, the job offer still stands.

[cantgetanyworse]

[In response, around 30 minutes later, Jane sends a photograph of a sketch of Georgia and Shaun sitting side by side at a café table. Her recollection of what they both look like is perfect, and the drawing holds an almost uncanny realism despite the roughness of it.]

They do.

What kind of job offer?

[choosetruth]

Same as before. Draw cartoons and illustrations for my site. Pay's not great, but we offer benefits, and we'll both give you any training we can. We like our employees capable of surviving a zombie outbreak if necessary.

text;

[desmodusdraculae]

I know a few techniques that I can teach you, if you'd like.

[cantgetanyworse]

That would be wonderful, if it isn't an imposition?

[desmodusdraculae]

Not at all.

I had my ass kicked for a while before I learned a bunch of different fighting styles. We can find something that works for you.

text

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Is Sylvi okay?
She didn't get eaten?

[cantgetanyworse]

She's just fine, thank heavens.

Are YOU alright?

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Good!

Yeah, I'm okay. There was a bad place but I'm back.