ONE [Video]

[rocksforbrains]

[When the video starts, it just seems like whoever recording it dropped their communicator. It's a still image of slate grey stone.]

Ugh, still feels like I'm gonna break this damn thing. Hey, this on?

[The same twists around to show that, no, that was the palm of someone's hand. Specifically, a tall, bulky rock man frowning down at the device, stone brows furrowed over faintly glowing white eyes.]

Alright, cool. So. Hey! Dropped off in another realty again. Super awesome. I love going to sleep and waking up in freaking Florida. On an army base. Surrounded by humans. With no gate in sight.

[He pauses, presumably for effect, before quickly adding.] That was sarcasm, by the way. This whole thing sucks. Like, it sucked the first time I was here, but now it's a brand new level of suck 'cause now I don't even know if this is a real alternate reality or another trip inside someone else's head. Sure, I remember this happening before, but memory doesn't count for jack when it can be changed, right?

[With the set-up delivered, his grimace suddenly switches into a big smirk.]

Luckily, I'm a genius and I've got a foolproof scientific method to figure out if this place is real or not with just two simple questions.

[He holds up a finger.] One - has anyone seen a Fake White Jesus-looking dude with one-glowing eye running around? If the answer is yes, then this is totally his fault, and I want to punch his stupid face in.

[A second finger goes up.] Two - and I wanna remind you guys, this is just a scientific question - are people allowed to bang in this reality? Don't laugh! It's super important. Just gimme a yes or no answer. Or send some photographic evidence I'm not gonna say no to that.

Okay, got all that? Good. Now while I wait to see if this is all bullshit or not, I'm gonna go run a test by going to the nearest sandwich place and seeing if they'll give me a free hoagie. Y'know. For science.

Comments

[helpdesk_hero]

Him harassing me about those stupid damn makeup people at the house.

[goldtoxicity]

Dude, I went to work! Give a guy some warning next time!

[helpdesk_hero]

Fair point. But I assumed he'd harassed you by now too.

[goldtoxicity]

No, David, he did not!

[ is it too late to run away??? santo is one thing but JULIAN???? ]

[helpdesk_hero]

Just remember, Josh. If you run away from your problems, we both know a teleporter that can set me down right behind you to drag you back here. Don't run from this. We'll face it. Together.

[goldtoxicity]

Don't tell me what to do.

[ it's supposed to be a joke but there's that undercurrent of 'don't call me out like this' ]

[helpdesk_hero]

[This is where a very fitting comment about being a yellow belly belongs.]

I'm the one with access to your bank accounts...

[goldtoxicity]

Dude, they're gonna think we're married or something. Stop giving them ammo.

[helpdesk_hero]

You're really not my type, Foley. My boyfriend has more fashion sense.

[goldtoxicity]

You are the last person who should be talking to anyone about their fashion, thanks.

[helpdesk_hero]

You're the one that owns custom made Himbo shirts.

[goldtoxicity]

You made them!

[electricblu]

You mean you aren't?

[ Guess fucking who. ]

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh come on, Nori. You KNOW I have better taste than that.

[electricblu]

Yeah, but you left things a little vague.

[goldtoxicity]

[ WHAT THE FUCK. sorry housemates, he's absolutely shouting this one. falling out of his fucking chair to boot. ]

NORI?!

[electricblu]

Hey, how's it dating my ex?

[rocksforbrains]

Damn, you beat me to it!

[electricblu]

Rocks aren't known for being particularly fast.

[fridgeflower]

Oh, my god, you can't just-- [ How are you all allowed to pop out of nowhere like this?? ]

Nori!

1/?

[electricblu]

Can't wh--

[electricblu]

[ Wait, she knows that voice. ]

[electricblu]

[ Silence. Give her a moment while she gets her shit together. ]

[electricblu]

[ Okay, she can do this. No guilt or anything over loosing a friend and member of the New Mutants. ]

done

[electricblu]

[ Nope...none at all. ]

Laurie?