[Video]

[irwins]

[Camera on means Shaun is on, all easygoing smiles and comfortable confidence. This is the usual thing, except this time? No zombies. No monsters. No weapons in hand. It's sort of a very different vlog post for him.

But it can't be mayhem and bloodshed all the time. I mean, usually it can, but here he is anyway.]

So. Valentine's Day is a thing back where I'm from too, but you know... little different. Less moonlit strolls on the beach or fancy restaurants and more staying home not getting eaten by zombies together. Not-dying-and-un-dying is basically the most romantic thing anyone can do.

What's romance look like for everyone else? Let's hear it. Anyone have a particularly romantic V-Day? I know you're not supposed to kiss and tell, but anyone want to kiss and tell?

[He's curious, after all. However.]

Wait, that wasn't actually my point. My point is, the best part about Valentine's Day in any world is the day after Valentine's Day because there is so much chocolate heart bullshit on sale. Discount sugar rush for everyone! RIP to out collective blood glucose levels.

[Here he holds up a bag that is basically stuffed full with various boxes of candy, chocolate roses, something that has a teddy bear attached to it.]

Given my assigned profession as restaurant critic, I feel like it is my solemn vocational duty to remind folks of this fact.

[And here he is, performing that valuable service.]

Comments

video

[softheartedshizun]

That the only chocolate they will ever get will be the day after and on sale?

Like used goods that will forever live in their parents house and never see even the shy smile of a single sister directed their way?

video

[irwins]

Uh... what now?

[Also shy smile of a single sister has him absolutely puzzling, among the rest of the puzzling.]

Not sure I caught all of that, but that sounds like a lot of doom and gloom for a day when candy is on sale.

video

[softheartedshizun]

A cute young girl.

[He was still trying to get used to some of his phrases being unfamiliar and thus misunderstood.]

Valentines day candy only has one purpose, to be given. To buy it yourself the day after is just....

It's the sort of thing that makes hearts weep in despair.

[choosetruth]

Dumbass.

[Said in her usual loving tone.]

Are you planning to bore these nice people with stories of groupies throwing themselves at you or horrify them with that time we found a zombie so rotted its heart was literally hanging out of it? I know which you found grosser.

[irwins]

Well I mean, the zombie one is thematically appropriate.

[Just a grin here. Hey, George. She does have a point. Groupies are way more disturbing. Zombies at least are rational creature. Shaun shrugs.]

And not boring. For the record, it is the opposite of boring. Lots of thrills and chills... and I dunno romance or something. Actually, I'm terrible at the last bit. Where're the fictionals when you need 'em?

video;

[onthe_threshold]

Valentine's is fake, but who cares. You said you're a restaurant critic?

video;

[irwins]

But the candy, my man, is real.

[Shaun nods.]

And yeah, that's me. Roving restaurant critic apparently. Little more sedate than my day job back home, but you know, not a bad gig.

voice

[burnishingmad]

[Wait wait wait wait wait. Ignoring the whole zombies and actual Valentine's talk.]

Discount chocolate?

voice

[irwins]

Discount chocolate.

[Shaun agrees with a very, very serious nod.]

In a supermarket or pharmacy store near you.

video;

[storyseeker]

I'm from a world that's more or less a variant of this one, so not too much is different, tradition-wise. But you are absolutely correct about the discount chocolate.

video;

[irwins]

Aside from Kellis-Amberlee, my world's pretty close to this one too, so it mostly all tracks.

[He offers a grin.]

Ha! See, you get it. You gotta have your priorities straight about this.

Video |

[privatepurchases]

[One archangel who is not so stuffy and officious currently because he's sad and sober - for once.]

...you can get a lot of chocolate on the day after this valentine's day?

Video

[irwins]

Yep. All the stock that didn't get peddled to the romantics before V-day is now on deep discount. Love has a shelf life, but thankfully it's still tasty.

[This guy. But since Shaun's last run in with him was an anonymous post, he'll act like he's NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE EVER.]

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

Is it just the food that's on sale?

Re: [video]

[irwins]

Nah, pretty much anything that's Valentine's Day themed or marketed is on discount at this point. I mean, candy most of all since that's got a shelf life, but teddy bears, cards, lingerie, adult items, the whole lot.

[He is a walking pitchman for post-holiday sales at this point in time.] Looking for something in particular?

Voice;

[pocketfulof]

The holiday can be kind of big where I'm from, but my boyfriend and I don't really celebrate it.

He has this thing against Eros--Cupid...whatever you want to call him.

Re: Voice;

[irwins]

Ah. Well that does make it a hard sell, if you've got a grudge against the overall mascot for the whole thing.

[Shaun shrugs.] Based on pre-Rising movies, it was a bigger deal once upon a time back home. I mean, it still has its moments.

Voice

[bodilesswarrior]

Well, Gotham gets Valentine-themed crime sprees.

[ Is she talking about the last Valentine's Day she spent with Dick? SURE ISN'T. She's trying to be more open than her other self, but look, there are limits. ]

Either you avoid the hot spots just in case or you brave the potential carnage for love. Or hormone-induced stupidity, one of those.

Voice

[irwins]

Wait hang on. Your criminals have themes? What do they like hold meetings and vote like a prom committee?

[Are there message boards? He's way too interested in this now.]

See now that's just romantic, chasing love through carnage.

video

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Did you see a kid with dark, curly hair and glasses in any of the candy stores?

video

[irwins]

I saw a few kids, but I wasn't really paying much attention. Lose someone to a sugar rush?

[Always a concern.]

text;

[threeisapattern]

wait do you still even have candy sales in a zombie world?

text;

[irwins]

Sure, yeah. I mean, the Rising sort of stalled capitalism for a bit, but it rallied.

[anormie]

Man. Half off Valentine's chocolate needs to be like an official holiday. Way better than actual Valentine's day. You are totally speaking my language.

[irwins]

Right? It's by far the best part of the whole Valentine's Day process, hands down.

Quick -- what's your favorite candy?

[Crucial questions here.]