video | content warnings for the devil being the devil

[dissemble]

[Did you know you had a Civil War Museum, residents of Heropa? If you didn't, be sure to pay attention to what you can see in the background of this man's video. It's a wonderful museum, well organized and very educational.

The man in the video is dressed unassumingly in overalls. He's shutting a door behind him and locking it- obviously he thinks closing time is the best time to greet the rest of the network.
Well, it takes all kinds, doesn't it? His voice is calm and there's almost a neighborly tone to it.]

Hi- I'm, uh. I'm only new here so maybe there's a memo I missed or something, but I was wondering about what exactly we're supposed to be doing here. I'm a fairly simple kind of a guy- I like to call things how I see them. Call a pitchfork a pitchfork, you get the picture.

Now, I'm under the impression that I've been kidnapped and brought to Florida against my will. Not only that- but I've been branded like a piece of cattle. Yet some of you seem to be suggesting I've been done a favor of some kind.

[A pause as he locks the front doors of the museum behind him, checks they're securely shut, and moves away from the building. His tone begins shifts away from good-natured.]

That's a little rude, don't you think? Bringing us all here without any consultation and then asking us to thank them for it? That's fairly arrogant of them, right?

[Wait- was that a scream in the background?]

Now, I don't know you and you don't know me- but I'm sure there's a better way to resolve our differences than having all of us lying down in the dirt and letting them piss all over us.

[As he moves away from the building those of you who were admiring the fine architecture will notice that there are flames coming out of the windows. And yes- those are definitely screams you can hear now.

Lucifer is looking frankly into the camera once more.]

Just my take on things.


[The feed ends.


ooc: this is why you don't give lucifer a job as assistant curator at the local civil war memorial.

heroes- the poor people trapped inside the museum need your help! Lucifer won't be sticking around to deal with the fallout but please go ahead and threadjack to organise/actionspam rescues on this post!]

Comments

Voice;

[larker]

[Uh huh. Would make a change.]

Hell no. I don't need to compare myself with Lucifer. Have you got one of those couches?

Voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

In my office. [He had insisted upon one of those couches.] For patients -- formal patients, rather, you appreciate how particular bureaucracy can be.

Voice;

[larker]

Touchy.

And that wasn't a question so you must be done already. What do you think, can I be cured?

Voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

You can certainly be evaluated. And we see what might follow that.

[larker]

Are you asking me to sit on your couch?

I'd have to pass. Lots of things to do you know. You should just do it over here I ain't sitting on your couch.

So you believe in science right?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I would consider myself a man of science, yes.

[Not so much devoted to forms of faith, in contrast. Unless he's drugged and strapped to a gurney, awaiting disembowelment.]

[larker]

Well then what made you choose science?

[That can be arranged, Chilton.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[The objective control offered to anyone who wields it. However "soft" a science psychology might be considered, it offers him more power over other people than astrophysics would, anyway.]

I find psychiatry, in particular, a stimulating endeavor. You could say that both myself and my patients benefit.

[Oh, you tease!]

[larker]

[Both himself and patients? Oh look, someone who constantly needs his ego stroked. You're nothing new in the world, Chilton.]

What would you say your success rate was, doc?

[That or he'll arrange a meeting, make it so Chilton thinks he's the patient for a good forever.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Every one of my patients has made breathtaking progress. [Well, to be fair, he isn't defining whose progress he's talking about -- perhaps a morally capable psychiatrist wouldn't think that manipulating a dissociative patient into thinking they're someone they are not could possibly be defined as progress.]

So my numbers are good enough to grant me the position of Chief of Staff -- at least, in two different universes.

[But not this one.]