maskormenace | video | content warnings for the devil being the devil

[Did you know you had a Civil War Museum, residents of Heropa? If you didn't, be sure to pay attention to what you can see in the background of this man's video. It's a wonderful museum, well organized and very educational.

The man in the video is dressed unassumingly in overalls. He's shutting a door behind him and locking it- obviously he thinks closing time is the best time to greet the rest of the network.
Well, it takes all kinds, doesn't it? His voice is calm and there's almost a neighborly tone to it.]

Hi- I'm, uh. I'm only new here so maybe there's a memo I missed or something, but I was wondering about what exactly we're supposed to be doing here. I'm a fairly simple kind of a guy- I like to call things how I see them. Call a pitchfork a pitchfork, you get the picture.

Now, I'm under the impression that I've been kidnapped and brought to Florida against my will. Not only that- but I've been branded like a piece of cattle. Yet some of you seem to be suggesting I've been done a favor of some kind.

[A pause as he locks the front doors of the museum behind him, checks they're securely shut, and moves away from the building. His tone begins shifts away from good-natured.]

That's a little rude, don't you think? Bringing us all here without any consultation and then asking us to thank them for it? That's fairly arrogant of them, right?

[Wait- was that a scream in the background?]

Now, I don't know you and you don't know me- but I'm sure there's a better way to resolve our differences than having all of us lying down in the dirt and letting them piss all over us.

[As he moves away from the building those of you who were admiring the fine architecture will notice that there are flames coming out of the windows. And yes- those are definitely screams you can hear now.

Lucifer is looking frankly into the camera once more.]

Just my take on things.

[The feed ends.

ooc: this is why you don't give lucifer a job as assistant curator at the local civil war memorial.

heroes- the poor people trapped inside the museum need your help! Lucifer won't be sticking around to deal with the fallout but please go ahead and threadjack to organise/actionspam rescues on this post!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am not homicidal.

[That's his defense.]

I prefer the label 'human.'

[All humans would kill each other, under the right circumstances.]

I don't find that very insulting. So I suppose it will do.

How about you, doctor? Have you ever been the cause of someone's death?

I -- [He glances off screen for the moment, his expression torn between shock and affront. Of course he had, however indirectly. Chilton would never murder with his own hands, after all.]

I've been accused.

[The words simmer on his tongue; superficially, he owed this man nothing. But Lucifer, after this display, wouldn't (surely couldn't) be take at face value any longer. And honesty fostered trust.]

I've been accused of it.

What do you say to those accusations?

[Lucifer's expression is dark and unreadable.]

I said what any psychiatrist in my position would. I called them false allegations.

[There's a bored tone creeping into his voice]

I didn't ask for what any psychiatrist in your position would have said.

[Beat.]

I denied them. I denied everything, on good advice.

[Yeah. Boring now.]

Of course you did.

Why would you want me to say otherwise? It would have ruined me.

You'd better be hoping that when you get your three questions I'm a little less slipperly than you.

I rather get the feeling you like your hands on something. Slippery.

Stimulation and all that.

Be straight with me, Frederick.

I'm just an archangel who likes his facts straight.

Just as you like your wills bent? Rhetorical.

-- Or perhaps, theological, in your case. But you know, any intelligent psychopath has a talent for reading people. I don't doubt that you know I so rarely do things straight.

Humanity was born bent, Chilton. Once you realise that a lot makes sense.

That's a bit of a given. It's the ones who come out more bent than usual that, ah, pique my interest.

Surely you can related?

Not particularly, no.

They're easier to manipulate, but hardly more interesting.

I beg to differ. [And modesty is so unusual in a psychopathic individual -- NPD is usually so comorbid that the exception is statistically insignificant.

Would that harm his theory, he wondered.]

You enjoy those with a stronger sense of morality? Integrity, even.

[Lucifer looks genuinely confused by the question.]

I think you keep missing an important point here, Frederick.

What they have, to offer you? Outside the soul criteria, mind. [A beat.] It isn't unheard of, for a manipulative personality to take advantage of a challenge.

What do humans have to offer me? Nothing.

[The very idea repulses him.]

Not even entertainment?

[Please, Freddie. Would you find a maggot entertaining, even if it was the most murderous and twisted maggot of them all?

Actually, you might. Ew.]

So I'll take that as a no. And yet you seem to involve yourself in the affairs of humanity.

video; private

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