AUDIO; locked from Tailgate

[forcowardice]

All right, so I'm going to be honest here. I haven't really ever seriously dated until now.

I know, real shocking. That-- that would be sarcasm. I mean, what with a four million year long war, that doesn't really cater to a life of romance for most of us. Anyway. I need a bit of advice.

I, uh. I really want to do my best to impress my boyfriend. He's sweet and friendly and really, really incredible and I want to make this work. I really don't want to screw this up, so hopefully a few of you have had some experience in dating.

Like, I dunno. Date suggestions? Methods to impress said boyfriend? I'm not sure I could really do this the Decepticon way. He kinda might take offense.

Comments

voice

[forcowardice]

Yeah? So what? Not like there are any Decepticon officers around to bug me about it. Besides, the war's over.

[paintjobs]

[ humph ]

Over or not, I can't see that one lasting.

[forcowardice]

Why not?

[paintjobs]

Do you really have to ask?

[forcowardice]

No, I guess not. I mean, it's not like you really know him or me, so your opinion might be a little invalid.

[paintjobs]

Oh, please, anyone could tell you the outcome.

[forcowardice]

Look, in your own backwards way, I guess this might be... kind of you helping me. Or you're just being a jerk, that's also entirely likely. But I disagree. I don't know that it'll last forever, probably not. It's nice right now, though.

[paintjobs]

[ a pause, and he... has to admit there's something to be said for enjoying things while you have them.

ugh, point to the weenie.

with an audible roll of his eyes: ] It won't. Things generally don't. But if you insist on such a terrible idea, you're going to need to put a little more thought into your appearance. Take it from a professional.

[forcowardice]

Uh, okay. What do you suggest? Hair gel aside.

[paintjobs]

That depends. Have you worked out how to switch forms yet? There's really only so much anyone can do with a human body, even me.

[forcowardice]

For the most part. I still haven't really mastered it, but it's getting smoother.

I dunno how you can really dress up someone who turns into a dud bomb, but I'm open to suggestions.

[paintjobs]

You'd be amazed at what can be done with a rotary buffer.

[ knock out, did you really have to make that sound so sensual. (the answer is yes, he did.) ]

text, hi, sorry :')

[rathercommon]

Why does he think it wouldn't last?

threadjacking the threadjack hello

[paintjobs]

Because he has eyes.

oh hello

[rathercommon]

Hullo, Knock-Out.

I have eyes too, but it's not clear to me. Would you explain?

[paintjobs]

Knock Out, first of all.

[rathercommon]

Knock Out. All right. And second of all?

[paintjobs]

Didn't I mention that little fact of a few million years of civil war? Go on, guess who the sides of it were.

[rathercommon]

Civil war that's over now.

text;

[forcowardice]

I'm sure he means that it's because of our faction difference. I honestly don't know that'll matter as much as other things; Tailgate missed most if not all of the war and I was unconscious for the last several thousand years for it.

text;

[rathercommon]

Well, I think it's perfectly wonderful and brave what you're doing. And I don't think you should listen to a single person who says that it won't work or any nonsense like that.

text;

[forcowardice]

I think realistically it won't be a long term thing. Not because I don't like Tailgate that much -- I really, really do -- but more just the kind of person I am.

In his own way, I think Knock Out is trying to be helpful, even without knowing all the facts. A factional difference would probably mean more if Tailgate fought in the war and if I wasn't me.

text;

[rathercommon]

[ STOP SPOILING IT. IT IS A BEAUTIFUL GESTURE OF INTEGRATION AND FORGIVENESS AND STOP SPOILING IT. ]

It still means a lot. What do you mean about the sort of person you are, though?

text;

[forcowardice]

[LOOK I'M SORRY I JUST HAVE LIKE NO CONFIDENCE]

I mean I'm kind of a giant coward and I've never done anything particularly amazing in my life. Tailgate is kind and sweet and friendly and funny and amazing.

I'm just a Decepticon who failed to even die properly. Not that I regret surviving, but I never really seem to do anything right.

text;

[rathercommon]

[ ...goddamn you for getting her in the feels ]

What does that mean, you didn't die properly? How can someone die properly?