maskormenace | four { video } hypnotizability

[ abigail is at the bait shop, sitting behind the counter. beside her is a rack of fish themed valentine's and little pink stuffed fish. ]

I was unaware there were so many fish puns that related to Valentine's Day. So... Hook, Line and Tinker is having a sale. By sale... I mean sale. Everything must go. Please take these off my hands. This was a horrible mistake and I regret my life choices.

[ /stares at camera like jim halpert. boy, does she ever. she will probably give them away free if you buy a pack of gum. how are she and will in business still? well, she's actually a really good saleswoman when it comes down to it.

just not right now. when cutesy fish are making cutesy faces at her. ]

Unrelated to flirty flounders, someone asked me about... well, basically about this place and I realized I've been kind of willingly ignorant to anything that's going on around me. I've read the FAQ, but is there anything else I should know?

[ you'd think after three months in a basement she would want to know more, but nope. at least she does now. only took six months. shut up, she's dead. she had to deal with that for a while. ]

Also, small show of hands -- I hope it's small -- who else is dead in their worlds?

[ so casual. she gives the camera a brief, wry smile and cuts out. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes. [ the bell on the door jingles as she heads outside. ] Since I'm going there right now.

Oh. Well--you don't have to pay for mine.

[er--]

Weren't you just at work?

I'm on break. [ she seems so unperturbed. ] I'm the owner, I can do that.

You own a bait shop.

[mildly sceptical... but in a friendly sort of way.]

Yes. [ THOROUGHLY AFFRONTED. ] Well. Co-own.

Oh, co-own...

[Like yes, of course, now this all makes sense.]

How'd you come to co-own a bait shop? Someone left it to you in a will?

It was my Christmas present from Will. [ sort of? it was the holiday season. ] I do the books better than him anyway.

Wow, that-- might just be the most practical gift I've ever heard. For both of you. Most people just give gift cards when they can't think of anything, y'know.

And thanks, for not struggling t' make any of the obvious puns there. [left to you in a will, given to you by a Will....]

I work with Will everyday. I have heard every pun on his name. Probably twice. Once in Finnish.

[ well, maybe. ]

Do the puns even work, in Finnish?

About as well as your karaoke, probably.

[ she will never forget, tbh. it's going to happen. she will make it happen. ]

[goddammit.]

You still remember that, huh.

[in the same tone of voice someone might say please kill me now]

I have a very good memory.

[ never gonna give u up. ]

Yeah. And I don't suppose there's anything that could convince you to forget? Say, if I bought your doughsant for you?

[quickly, before he can be accused of being cheap, or undervaluing her--]

The first of many.

Edited (html no) 2015-02-02 06:01 (UTC)

No. [ there's laughter in her tone, as blunt as she is. ] I would say yes and lull you into a false sense of security, but that would be unkind.

Yeah, that would be unkind. The bit about forcing a man to do karaoke, that wouldn't be unkind at all.

[He's bitching a lot, but it's like friendly bitching, and very weak friendly bitching at that. Won't last long.]

I'm taking you up on that doughsant, then. Yes, I do want you to buy one for me.

Okay.

[ it's pretty easy to hear that she is smiling. she just aggressively guilted someone into $300 for charity, she's going to get a gross baked good!, later she is going to rent a stupid movie for her and chilton to watch, and she's so going to make mitchell do karaoke. ]

You realize I could have done this on video and you'd have to see me, right? I'm really being nice to you right now.

[ she could be pouting. she knows it works. a++ making friends, threatening to pout at them. ]

[it's like the plots of a criminal mastermind in the making tbh and the worst part is... she's really effective.

karaoke. Jesus.]

Yeah, I totally owe you. If you were on video, I wouldn't have been able to demand my baked good out of you. At least this way, I get something out of it.

You're really unfair, you know that? I bet this how you got half of that bait shop of yours. Not a Christmas gift at all.

[ she hums a happy little noise. ]

It totally is.

[ yep. exactly how it happened. will gave her the keys and she never gave them back. he probably gave her half the bait shop so she would stop looking at him sadly. ]

[this is 100% believable and is actually probably fact and anyone that disagrees has never had Abigail look at them sadly before.]

I totally knew it.

[He repeats her syntax, but his tone is more teasing than mocking.]

Heartless. Just get me my doughsant, all right?

You got it, boss. See y-- uh, wait, where am I bringing this doughsant?

I'm at work, but, uh--

[Inviting her to a club seems-- questionable, no matter what time of day it is.]

But I'm about to leave. Totally legitimately, I might add, not skiving off early 'cause I can. I'll meet you at the boardwalk and you can hand it over.

Um, mine was legitimate! I'm the boss, I make the hours! [ to be fair, she also works like 50 hours a week because she uses work to distract herself from the rest of her horrible life. ]

Yeah? Does that really count? That's kind of like giving yourself a little bonus in your paycheck, isn't it... company-paid vacations to Jamaica... Cheating, I mean.

[using work as a distraction is totally legit though]

I don't think we make enough for that...

[ will does love to just give her money tbh. ]

(no subject)

humanistic - 2015-03-04 20:52 (UTC) - Expand