video | morning of the 21st

[moded]

[The name reads: Bart Allen.

There's neighing to start off this video feed. Well, that and the muzzle of a curious horse who seems to think that the communicator is a treat.]

Hey- c'mon dude, I need this. [Bart's stroking the great and noble steed's snout by the time the video focuses in again, and if the fact that the kid has apparently found a horse wasn't weird enough, he's also wearing a cowboy hat on his head.

... Then again, knowing Impulse, maybe it's not the weirdest thing that could have happened.] Okay, so, I was hoping I would never have to say this.

[The kid pauses to take in a deep breath, and the horse starts trying to nibble on the edge of his hat]

I think some really bad people got here- some people that work for a really bad man. They're- I guess they're kind of the mafia? But they all work for a guy named Don Equis. [He frowns] I don't know how long they've been here, and just about any one of the imPorts could be working for him, but I'll find them.

They're totally dangerous, but so long as you don't have any ties to racing or horses I think they'll leave you alone. But to any of you who do belong to the Horse Mafia- [He points at the screen, doing his best to come off as menacing while wearing a too-big cowboy hat that's more than become a snack to his horse] I'm gonna get you back for what you did to Tragedy.

[And that's it. That's the message.




In other words- Bart's been struck by lightning!]

Comments

[hartleylittleworkingsong]

[Hartley has watched this video post 16 times. He still doesn't believe what he's seeing. At first, even with knowing that James is here and that death doesn't stop people from winding up here, he was refusing to consider that the kid was Bart Allen at all.

Then, it was the words. He has a loose definition of crazy, but the Horse Mafia is definitely tiptoeing around it. On the 12th viewing, he notices that this Bart's eyes are the wrong color - aren't they? It's hard to tell on such a small screen.

Hell, he feels sick.]

The Horse Mafia works for a guy named Don Equis. Got it.

[You know what sounds good right now? Dos Equis.]

If you're hiding the horse from the Horse Mafia, shouldn't you be keeping it off the Network? They could have a mole.

[Comm name reads: Hartley Rathaway.]

[moded]

[There's the smallest inkling of recognition for Hartley - maybe someone he knew from his early days at the West-Allen Ranch? Yes... yes that had to be it. This was someone he knew from his childhood, perhaps a trainer? A groomer? A veterinarian?

Still... it's almost as if there's something sinister about his memory of this person. Something that has the boy frowning just a little as he responds.]

The safest place for a horse is with me right now. Besides, even I have difficulty outrunning this one.

[He doesn't. He lets the horse win. Because they're amazing, majestic creatures who should never lose a footrace to a human. Ever.]

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[friendshiprocks]

I'm sure you'll be able to find this Don Equis guy—don't let any neighsayers get you down!

[ Hime, no. ]

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[moded]

Ha! Dude, nice one! [Bart Allen: FOREVER APPRECIATIVE OF DUMB PUNS.]

But I'm totally gonna. I've been searching for him for years now, and I think he knows he can't hide from me for long.

[The kid leans closer to the camera, cupping his hand around his mouth like he's telling a secret.... on a public feed...]

That's why he's started putting agents everywhere.

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[runningstart]

[WH

AT]




...dude, nobody except Texans wear cowboy hats anymore. [BECAUSE THAT'S THE ISSUE HERE?????]

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[moded]

-- what? Since when?

[DON'T YOU BREAK HIS LITTLE EQUESTRIAN HEART]

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[hartleylittleworkingsong]

[Those with particularly good sound identification skills might be able to identify the sound of a beer being cracked open. It's medicinal.

Oh god, that's Wally West, and he's four. Okay, he's twelve. Whatever age he is, what the hell is going on.

Okay, play it cool. Casual. This is all fine; this is normal.]

I don't think Kansas is allowed to make fun of Texas.

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[airshow]

Okay, quick question: has the munchkin been hit upside the head by any giant cartoon mallets in the last day or so?

[ He shoves a handful of Skittles in his mouth. ]

I'm asking in the interest of medical science.

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[animalage]

Where did you get a horse? [AND CAN I PET IT] And what's with the hat? And the... Horse Mafia?

--Did somebody forget to tell me we're doing an undercover mission?

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[moded]

When do I ever not have a horse?

[Since Tragedy, Bart. Since that big piece of his heart was stolen away, since the family crumbled and pieced itself back together. Since the Equis Mafia entered his life and tore down every scrap of happiness he had ever had.

There's a pause. And then he sighs.]

I'm not going undercover, dude. Not this time. Equis has to be stopped.

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[girlwithout]

[Rikki has never met Bart before, so yeah, she has no idea what's wrong. Although something seems like it is. Maybe.]

- You have a Horse Mafia on your world?

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[moded]

Yeah but not everybody knows about it. [It's the mafia, Bart. That's how it's supposed to work.]

They're pretty bad, and I don't know how many of them are here yet, but be careful okay?

brace yourself. (1/6)

[airshow]

[ It's a good thing Trickster lives alone, because yelping and throwing the comm halfway across the living room might otherwise raise suspicion. ]

[airshow]

[ Okay. Okay. He can deal with this. He's seen a lot of weird, weird stuff in his life. He's been partially responsible for at least a third of it. He likes to think that not much can get to him anymore — even dying and ending up in bizarro-Florida.

That was before he saw Bart Allen, alive and well and tiny and apparently also a cowboy, because this wasn't insane enough before ten gallon hats got involved. ]

[airshow]

[ No. He was wrong. He can't deal with this. He's going to require SEVERAL MINUTES OF EXTREMELY INTENSE PERSONAL FREAKING OUT. ]

[airshow]

[ There's a long moment after where he sincerely thinks: maybe he can pretend he didn't see it. Maybe he can just walk away and act like none of this ever happened. Maybe he can not stick a metaphorical fork in a metaphorical electrical socket this time. Just this once. ]

[airshow]

[ ...




Ah, screw it. It's too early in the morning for good decisions. ]

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[andaway]

[ID reads Superman]

Bart! [Yes, he was weirded out by the stuff Bart was talking about and was that a cowboy hat? BUT! It's been a while since he actually talked to the kid and by what everyone's been telling him... it's a relief.] I'm so glad to see you. Who's Tragedy?

What happened?

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[moded]

[Welcome to the crazy show, Supes.]

My horse. I mean- he was my horse. [There's a frown, though.] Dude, what's with everyone asking that? Robin was acting like he hadn't heard of Equis either.

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[booyahh]

[ There are probably much more important things to be focusing on in this entire situation, but the thing that stuck out the most to Traci was the one thing she couldn't let go. ]

Did you just say Horse Mafia? [ That was definitely on the weirder side of anything she'd heard. ] Like, for real?

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[moded]

Totally for real. They're super bad.

[He crosses his arms and nods sagely at that, the horse behind him giving a soft whinny and nudging at his shoulder almost comfortingly.]

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[khajidont]

[What is

Bart what]

Dude, where did you get that horse? We live in the city.

[Team ASKING RELEVANT QUESTIONS look it was an easier subject to tackle]

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[runningstart]

I'm like ninety-five percent sure he stole that damn horse.

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[foreshadower]

What sorts of things has this Don Equis done, precisely?

[ He thinks he's fucking around ]

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[moded]

Uh- theft, blackmail, gambling - illegal gambling, cheating, and-

[Hope you were ready for that absolutely heartbroken look on this tiny speedster's face.]

He... killed my horse.

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[bratziska]

( Even Franziska von Karma would be more sympathetic in a situation like this, but she's not exactly Franziska von Karma any more, is she? When the feed turns on, there'll just be the image of a teenage girl chuckling, the expression looking a bit... odd on her features. )

What a fitting name for your horse.

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[moded]

Uuuuggghhh I know. Everyone told me that I think it was the headline in the newspaper too.

[Look how sad he is, you horrible chaotic lightning victim, you.]

... I still like it, though.

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[heavyhitter]

omg the HORSE MAFIA u r killing me here

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[moded]

Well okay its the Equis Mafia probably but it's basically the same

[AND ITS SUPER SRS RAMIR]

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[powerkicks]

There's a horse mafia?

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[moded]

Yeah. They're really dangerous, but so long as you don't go near ranches or racetracks you should be okay!