maskormenace | VIDEO ★ 001

[ The audio starts before video's established. Two voices are already talking in the background. One neutral and subdued and the other thick with a Jersey accent. ]

So you've got a call running--

Yeah, yeah, I'm not an idiot.

--But you've only got audio. There's video capability if you--

I know! I might be old to you but I'm--

[ The transmission is suddenly dropped. But it comes back in a few seconds. ]

--was the "End Call" button.

.......... Yeah, I see that. I mean I know! Maybe I just didn't like the connection.

[ Silence stretches for a moment before the more authoritative voice picks back up. ]

So, instead, hit this button--

I got it! I've got this! At ease, soldier! It's not that hard to figure out! Criminy...

[ Finally, video is activated and the viewer is given a wonderful view of a young man in the most unflattering uniform the Army could and has ever handed out. He's scowling at someone off camera, allegedly walking to the door now that his job as a handler is over with. ]

Yes, thank you! You do your country proud as an armored baby sitter.

[ There's one last screwed up look before he returns his attention back to his portable device. It's like something right out of a Flash Gordon movie. His face brightens for his new audience. ]

So. This again. [ He literally just got back from the future, guys. Can't these trips be staggered a little better, please? ] My own government plucks me from one war and into another. Doesn't seem like a very effective tactic, now does it? Not that that's any a'my business. Never is, but I gotta ask... Can't you fellas wipe your own asses? It's been, what, seventy years! Figured by now you'd have invented something to clean out all the nooks and crannies...

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Huh, he wasn't kidding. [That is: Teddy really is living with a baby Bucky Barnes.

Well, baby to her, but she's pretty sure he's around her age.]

The government's not creative about the war thing, but hey, they didn't kidnap us, so, uh, bonus points to them?

[Probably not.]

You were fighting a war in that?

[Don't listen to him. Do not take fashion advice from this man.]

Edited 2015-03-10 02:06 (UTC)

[ With mild amusement, ]

Which war's this?

[ With a smile: ]

It's good that you've got someone to help you with the technology. It's sort of tough at first, but it does definitely get easier.

Now this is a high quality example of American exceptionalism. [ Ash's accent is French, and his tone of voice is rather amused. ] How eloquent, how charming, how... utterly clownish. Is this a comedy act?

[BECAUSE THIS IS TOTALLY THE IMPORTANT PART.]

The devices are not difficult to use. Perhaps I could arrange a tutorial.

[Somewhere, Rikki Barnes is screaming into her pillow.]

Edited 2015-03-10 03:21 (UTC)

[ Bucky's eyes narrow minutely at whoever this "he" is. We'll get back to that. ]

I dunno, doll. That's a damn fine line. I'm all for helping out my country, but after seventy years I don't think the Army can just warp me into commission willy nilly...

Then again, here I am, so... Maybe I didn't read my contract as well as I shoulda.

[ Oh you're French and condescending? Gee, what a shocker, ladies and gentlemen. He's happy to insult you in your own language. ]

No, not exactly, pal. But my fist can sure make your face look funny. How's that for a laugh?

What better way to say "America's coming!" than bein' a one-man flag, huh?

[ Dude, it's fine. It's pretty goddamn gaudy, he totally understands the pain it can inflict on some people's senses. ]

Second World War...

[What he says is like five hundred percent awkward considering what happens to him, but hey! Kate can keep secrets! Unlike most falsehoods, this ... seems like an important one to keep.]

Thankfully, they've only sent people off to battle once, and it was pretty opportunistic in nature. So, if you aren't up for fighting that particularly unnecessary good fight, you're good to go.

But I'm serious. They really are just keeping track of us coming in. That's their whole deal. Trust me: if they had a say in it, they'd send us naysayers back. After all, they'd be forcing our hands and we'd end up in uniforms and whatever else.

Thankfully, we're not.

Let me guess, war bond circuit?

[At some point after she's talked to Verity and taken some time to get her head on straight, Rikki finally decides to contact him, starting the video before she has a chance to talk herself out of it. Hopefully, honesty is the best policy is not about to bite her in the ass.

Meanwhile, he gets an image of a redhead with a family resemblance and Captain America shield earrings, because the imPort Fan Convention was good to her. Her ID tag reads Rikki Barnes.] Hey. So this is gonna be pretty weird, but. I'm Rikki - uh, it's short for Rebecca - Barnes. And we're related.

[ Well, now that's refreshing. He warms up some at that response. ]

If you didn't open your mouth, you'd be almost cute despite the silly outfit. Maybe I'll help you with a broken jaw.

. . . mr. barnes? did you shrink?

[He's not entirely sure about the idea of sharing a house, but he's been living with the Kaplans for a while now, so at least he sort of knows what's going on. And then one of his new housemates turns up, and Teddy knows that uniform. It's famous. One of his best friends used to run around in something like it.

He's just going to try not to geek out over in the corner... nope. Too late. So now there's a six-foot tall teenager built like a weight lifter doing his best to not sound like an excited fan.]

Are you Bucky Barnes? I mean, hi, sorry, I'm Teddy and I guess we're sharing a house, but... are you really Bucky Barnes?

[ Yeah, that awkward's gonna be hanging around for awhile, kids. Enjoy it. ]

Please [ Bucky snorts. ] I'm up for any fight. Good or bad.

[ He practically wrote the book on poor decision making. ]

So, that includes you? You a nay sayer?

[ It's asked neutrally. No emotions or bias attached. He can't say he understands what the hell is going on--Far from it. But last time this happened to him, it hadn't gone too smoothly. The anchor his government offers is too appealing to throw away right now in a show of defiance, whether it's their doing or not. ]

Just what are you saying "nay" to?

[ He wants to hear it in your own words. ]

Edited 2015-03-10 09:45 (UTC)

[ Ugh Bucky is already disgusted with you, Teddy. Look at you, all tall and blond and looking like Aryan perfection. You're lucky it's rude to just hit a civilian!! He steps back a foot or two, not wanting to be crowded by a stranger, especially one looking the way he does. This may not be a warzone, but someone like Buck can never be too careful. ]

The one and only, pal! [ There's a brief pause, like he's trying to piece something together. And, boy, is he failing. He tucks his newfound device into a pocket before going on. ] Why?

[ Ouch. Jesus, what a slap in the face yo. ]

When I'm stateside. Rest'a the time I'm on the front.

[ So be impressed, woman! ]

[ Bucky laughs. ]

Pretty sure it's that guy's job! If I die from exposure or starvation because I can't figure out how a telephone works, it's his ass.

[ WOW WAY TO POINT OUT HIS SHORTCOMINGS, AI!! ]

Well, if they ain't difficult, I shouldn't need a tutorial, right? Relax, doll! I'm sure I'll have a handle on this in no time!

[ Don't worry your precious female head about it. ]

You're Bucky Barnes.

[Just... give him a second, okay. Okay, so the Young Avengers have met future/present Bucky Barnes, or at least some of them have. But time-displaced Bucky Barnes, that's pretty much a new level of awesome.]

That's so awesome. Billy's never going to believe this!

[He suddenly stops, and rubs the back of his neck, suddenly awkward.]

...Oh, sorry. I tend to get kind of excited.

what does that even mean
and wheres the punctuat''',! oh here it is!

i'm the same size i've always been!! you're lucky you're a girl

but you were bigger the last time we talked . . . and you have facial hair. a little. but it was there!

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VIDEO ★ 001

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