VIDEO ★ 001

[sidecars]

[ The audio starts before video's established. Two voices are already talking in the background. One neutral and subdued and the other thick with a Jersey accent. ]

So you've got a call running--

Yeah, yeah, I'm not an idiot.

--But you've only got audio. There's video capability if you--

I know! I might be old to you but I'm--

[ The transmission is suddenly dropped. But it comes back in a few seconds. ]

--was the "End Call" button.

.......... Yeah, I see that. I mean I know! Maybe I just didn't like the connection.

[ Silence stretches for a moment before the more authoritative voice picks back up. ]

So, instead, hit this button--

I got it! I've got this! At ease, soldier! It's not that hard to figure out! Criminy...

[ Finally, video is activated and the viewer is given a wonderful view of a young man in the most unflattering uniform the Army could and has ever handed out. He's scowling at someone off camera, allegedly walking to the door now that his job as a handler is over with. ]

Yes, thank you! You do your country proud as an armored baby sitter.

[ There's one last screwed up look before he returns his attention back to his portable device. It's like something right out of a Flash Gordon movie. His face brightens for his new audience. ]

So. This again. [ He literally just got back from the future, guys. Can't these trips be staggered a little better, please? ] My own government plucks me from one war and into another. Doesn't seem like a very effective tactic, now does it? Not that that's any a'my business. Never is, but I gotta ask... Can't you fellas wipe your own asses? It's been, what, seventy years! Figured by now you'd have invented something to clean out all the nooks and crannies...

Comments

[selfequipped]

Huh, he wasn't kidding. [That is: Teddy really is living with a baby Bucky Barnes.

Well, baby to her, but she's pretty sure he's around her age.]

The government's not creative about the war thing, but hey, they didn't kidnap us, so, uh, bonus points to them?

[Probably not.]

well HELLO dollface

[sidecars]

[ Bucky's eyes narrow minutely at whoever this "he" is. We'll get back to that. ]

I dunno, doll. That's a damn fine line. I'm all for helping out my country, but after seventy years I don't think the Army can just warp me into commission willy nilly...

Then again, here I am, so... Maybe I didn't read my contract as well as I shoulda.

video;

[glampop]

You were fighting a war in that?

[Don't listen to him. Do not take fashion advice from this man.]

video;

[sidecars]

What better way to say "America's coming!" than bein' a one-man flag, huh?

[ Dude, it's fine. It's pretty goddamn gaudy, he totally understands the pain it can inflict on some people's senses. ]

voice.

[janebond]

[ With mild amusement, ]

Which war's this?

voice.

[sidecars]

Second World War...

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[rathercommon]

[ With a smile: ]

It's good that you've got someone to help you with the technology. It's sort of tough at first, but it does definitely get easier.

video

[sidecars]

[ Bucky laughs. ]

Pretty sure it's that guy's job! If I die from exposure or starvation because I can't figure out how a telephone works, it's his ass.

[capriciousrevolt]

Now this is a high quality example of American exceptionalism. [ Ash's accent is French, and his tone of voice is rather amused. ] How eloquent, how charming, how... utterly clownish. Is this a comedy act?

[sidecars]

[ Oh you're French and condescending? Gee, what a shocker, ladies and gentlemen. He's happy to insult you in your own language. ]

No, not exactly, pal. But my fist can sure make your face look funny. How's that for a laugh?

[Audio]

[mobilityassistance]

[BECAUSE THIS IS TOTALLY THE IMPORTANT PART.]

The devices are not difficult to use. Perhaps I could arrange a tutorial.

[Audio]

[sidecars]

[ WOW WAY TO POINT OUT HIS SHORTCOMINGS, AI!! ]

Well, if they ain't difficult, I shouldn't need a tutorial, right? Relax, doll! I'm sure I'll have a handle on this in no time!

[ Don't worry your precious female head about it. ]

NOT HERE (YET)

[girlwithout]

[Somewhere, Rikki Barnes is screaming into her pillow.]

video; private

[girlwithout]

[At some point after she's talked to Verity and taken some time to get her head on straight, Rikki finally decides to contact him, starting the video before she has a chance to talk herself out of it. Hopefully, honesty is the best policy is not about to bite her in the ass.

Meanwhile, he gets an image of a redhead with a family resemblance and Captain America shield earrings, because the imPort Fan Convention was good to her. Her ID tag reads Rikki Barnes.] Hey. So this is gonna be pretty weird, but. I'm Rikki - uh, it's short for Rebecca - Barnes. And we're related.

[ text ]

[bestversion]

. . . mr. barnes? did you shrink?

[ text ]

[sidecars]

what does that even mean
and wheres the punctuat''',! oh here it is!

i'm the same size i've always been!! you're lucky you're a girl

Action

[notasaviour]

[He's not entirely sure about the idea of sharing a house, but he's been living with the Kaplans for a while now, so at least he sort of knows what's going on. And then one of his new housemates turns up, and Teddy knows that uniform. It's famous. One of his best friends used to run around in something like it.

He's just going to try not to geek out over in the corner... nope. Too late. So now there's a six-foot tall teenager built like a weight lifter doing his best to not sound like an excited fan.]

Are you Bucky Barnes? I mean, hi, sorry, I'm Teddy and I guess we're sharing a house, but... are you really Bucky Barnes?

Action

[sidecars]

[ Ugh Bucky is already disgusted with you, Teddy. Look at you, all tall and blond and looking like Aryan perfection. You're lucky it's rude to just hit a civilian!! He steps back a foot or two, not wanting to be crowded by a stranger, especially one looking the way he does. This may not be a warzone, but someone like Buck can never be too careful. ]

The one and only, pal! [ There's a brief pause, like he's trying to piece something together. And, boy, is he failing. He tucks his newfound device into a pocket before going on. ] Why?

[onthegroundsofbrooklyn]

Again? What, they got switching time around down cold in Long Island? Can't think of better things to do on the weekends?

[Son, there ain't an accent in the tristate area Spot can't recognize]

ohhh boy

[sidecars]

[ S'okay, kid. He's got your number too. ]

If they could, no one'd be livin' there! [ Bucky snickers. ] Nah, I'm talkin' Germany. Well... Sorta. [ It's a long, complicated, and likely classified thing that went down. Don't worry about it! ]

You were close, pal. Keep headin' west...

[heavyhitter]

oh man at this rate were gonna need to open a circus act for all u old ass guys

[sidecars]

[ WOW RUDE, MS. TYPIST! ]

why what are we some kind of freak show?? i'm only going to agree if i can be the lion tamer oh or the guys that throw the knives! i'll do that too.

video; ID reads Clark Kent

[andaway]

[Oh boy.]

It's not like any of us had a say on the matter. But you look a tad young to be fighting any wars. [Yes he went there.]

video; gj Clark

[sidecars]

[ See, now that does suck. He may be thrown around the universe at whim at an accelerating rate, but he signed up for that bullshit. ]

Well, it's a damn good thing you ain't in charge of anything then! The US Army sure thinks I'm perfect for the job!

[ So there! ]

text

[gevurah]

Duty, Honor, Country, soldier. Didn't think one would complain about duty.

text

[sidecars]

it's not that
believe i'm more than willing to do my part [ Because the alternative is far too bleak to the even think about if he's not fighting. ] i'd have liked to finish the first one before moving on to the next

that's all

[selfimage]

[ well, this is definitely a thing that's happening. ]

Most universes come with some kind of like-baggage. This one just happens to be a few decades extended. Er—the good part is that there are some wars that have lasted longer. With more axes. This one definitely has less axes.

[sidecars]

Yeah. This one has guns and tanks and... whatever seventy years has invented! Jet packs! You guys ever get those yet? [ BUCKY WAS PROMISED JET PACKS IN THE FUTURE!! Let's get on that people. ] Anyway, my point is it shouldn't be takin' this long!

Right?

[ Back him up here, goaty! ]

[liverletdie]

I don't know if I'd consider our government and the government here the same government, you know? Different worlds, different experiences...

[sidecars]

[ Oh! It's you. Not sure if that's elation or indigestion he's feeling at the sight of your mug, but it's not important right now. He sits back on his bed with a sigh, digesting Tony's words. ]

Well. Shit.

[ Bucky crosses his arms over his chest, looking at something off camera. But his attention's pulled right back to his device when a thought pops into his head. ]

Wait. If--If you're here, is the rest of your team... Are the Invaders here?

[ It seems unlikely (they would have addressed him over this transmission right?), but he figures he should ask. ]

video;

[shuckit]

[ uh.

uuuuuhhhhhhh.

what even are you. ]

Nice shorts.

video;

[sidecars]

[ The OG mother fucker. ]

Thanks. They were designed not to bunch up.

[ It's real hard to tell if Bucky's serious or being a straight up ass. ]