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[deadtective]

We've got posts up playing icebreakers and asking for people to regale them with the exciting tales of their weekend, so I think it's safe to say that we're past the current crisis? We better be, because I'm sick of slicing my fingers up leafing through the classifieds and don't need anybody jumping on me for being flippant during a tragedy.

[so preemptively defensive, Hazel. maybe you should have had somebody proofread this before sending it out.]

I'm looking for a job. I had this whole thing typed up with my preferences and abilities, but it ended up sounding like I was looking to run bootleg liquor over the border.

Which. I mean, if there's an opening for that I'm totally down for an interview? But that's not exactly the kind of thing you advertise for.

I was a private detective back home, buuut honestly I think I broke more laws than solved actual cases. No convictions, though! Uh. The point is I have a shitty skillset and I am super desperate. If the job's not boring as hell and it can finance dozens of pre-ordered video games I'm interested.

Look, it's this or I start prying radios out of hovercars. The crime rate of Heropa is in your hands!!

Comments

[heavyhitter]

Yeah, sure, good thing no one likes you.

[ She crams pizza into her mouth, and after a few seconds of hard chewing, says around a mouthful: ] Anyway, I guess I can put together a getup. [ It'll be like practice for when she's ready to be serious about being Taranto. ] Any stores in mind?

[deadtective]

Noooot really? I don't spend a lot of time in pricey areas when I leave Heropa, but I could probably put together a list pretty quickly.

[all it takes is a little googling and then looking presentable enough that nobody side-eyes her when she wanders around checking out the layout. probably.]

Just make sure you don't look too stupid. This is supposed to be a serious problem!

[heavyhitter]

[ She rolls her eyes, but at least waits until her mouth is clear for the rebuttal. ]

Fuck off, I always look awesome.

[deadtective]

Oh, yeah, sure. What a stupid mistake for me to make.

[because you look so fantastic right now, girl.]

[heavyhitter]

Yeah, it was. But I forgive you.

[ Another full bite, and of course she sticks up a finger to indicate don't talk, I'm about to say something, which gets drawn out another few seconds as she chews. ]

So anyway— what's your power? Like, what kinda beating can you take?

[deadtective]

[Hazel gives her a long-suffering sigh for her trouble, as if keeping her doubtless stellar commentary to herself was a feat worthy of the highest honor this country can afford.]

My power is that I can take literally whatever you can dish out. It's not going to be a problem at all.

[does she need to elaborate? hopefully not, since 'super endurance' is a legitimate power and all. she pauses a moment in consideration, then decides it's ok to mention the nullification to.]

And my other power is turning other people's abilities off, so there's a built-in reason for you to run off at the end.

[heavyhitter]

[ Shit, she hates power nullers. She hates that whole idea. She does not want anyone turning off her power, thanks. There's a downward quirk of one side of her mouth, but she notes it and moves on. ]

So like — invulnerability or whatever, or self-healing? You tested that much?

[deadtective]

A little bit of both. I can survive pretty much anything, but it's a pain in the ass to put my limbs back together so I'd prefer if you didn't rip them off.

[this is delivered with unsettling casualness for the topic at hand, but that can easily be written off as Hazel having tested out her powers very thoroughly in the past.]

[heavyhitter]

[ Wow. If that was discovered through testing, then Ramir is duly impressed by Hazel's thoroughness. She cocks a brow, but presses on: ]

So basically I don't need to worry, because you can take it, and try to keep the limbs attached. [ She begins to grin. ] Sounds doable.

[deadtective]

It better be, because if I have to wander around a ruined department store looking for my arm I'm going to bitch you out until the universe collapses in on itself.

[she points a finger at Ramir to underline her point]

[heavyhitter]

[ She rolls her eyes, sitting back away from that pointing finger. ]

Relax, Frankenstein. If I knock anything off you I promise I'll take it with me, and we'll stick that shit back on later.

[deadtective]

...like, what, in a backpack or a really huge tote bag?

[she's only lost a limb for an extended period of time once, and it was in a swamp, so she's kind of curious about how that would work. and also if she'd be picking broken mints out of her fingernails for a week after.]

[heavyhitter]

In whatever it takes, I guess. Maybe I cart it off like a souvenir and you can pretend you jumped me later to get it back.

[deadtective]

This isn't the Louisiana swamps, no one's going to believe you want a severed arm as a gift for the folks back home.

[heavyhitter]

Come on, I'll be a villain. [ That's weird to just... say. Good thing they both know this one's not real. ] They're weird. Who knows why those guys do anything?

[deadtective]

That's not villain weird, that's escaped mental patient weird. Chuck it out a window or something, that's more believable.

[heavyhitter]

[ She rolls her eyes, but — fine, good point, the less off stage interaction between them the better. ]

Fine, whatever. Out the window. Any other fine details to hash out here?

[deadtective]

[she rolls her eyes right back at Ramir just because, and then puffs a cheek out in thought as she tries to see if there actually is anything else.]

Uh, I don't think so. I want to make sure some people don't hear about this, but that's really all on me.

[heavyhitter]

Yep, definitely you.

[ She goes thoughtful for a few seconds, thinking over all the ways this could horribly backfire. Really, it's not quite the end of the world if she gets outed. She can just pin it on young ladies and their bad ideas — not a genuine urge to do anything villainous. So at least there's that.

Still, though, it warrants saying: ] If anyone finds out it's me and it's not because I told them, I'm blaming the whole thing on you.

[deadtective]

And I'll tell them you were blackmailing me the whole way through.

[the response is prompt and hella on point, although it also means that it's difficult to tell if Hazel's actually kidding or not. this is a terrible joke to make considering what's happened to her semi-recently, but she's the only one in this conversation who's aware of that. she can crack as many horrible self-inflicted jokes as she likes.]

[heavyhitter]

[ Her mouth flattens a little, but she doesn't look overly bothered by it. Really, Hazel has way more leverage here. Ramir knows exactly in what light she paints herself for the general public; she wouldn't be very believable as an innocent victim.

Whatever. She'll work about that if it comes up. ]

Let's save the threats for the performance. [ She finishes off the rest of her slice in a few huge bites, then pushes herself to her feet. ] Find a place and gimme a call, I'll be looking around too.

[deadtective]

Sure, no problem. See you when it's showtime, I guess.

[she flashes a two-fingered salute as Ramir gets up, content to hang around the pizzeria for a while longer. people watching and food torture rolled into one locale was always alright in her books.]