02 | text

[deadtective]

We've got posts up playing icebreakers and asking for people to regale them with the exciting tales of their weekend, so I think it's safe to say that we're past the current crisis? We better be, because I'm sick of slicing my fingers up leafing through the classifieds and don't need anybody jumping on me for being flippant during a tragedy.

[so preemptively defensive, Hazel. maybe you should have had somebody proofread this before sending it out.]

I'm looking for a job. I had this whole thing typed up with my preferences and abilities, but it ended up sounding like I was looking to run bootleg liquor over the border.

Which. I mean, if there's an opening for that I'm totally down for an interview? But that's not exactly the kind of thing you advertise for.

I was a private detective back home, buuut honestly I think I broke more laws than solved actual cases. No convictions, though! Uh. The point is I have a shitty skillset and I am super desperate. If the job's not boring as hell and it can finance dozens of pre-ordered video games I'm interested.

Look, it's this or I start prying radios out of hovercars. The crime rate of Heropa is in your hands!!

Comments

permatext; jessica drew comm

[spidersense]

you can join me in being a really crappy tabloid photographer.

[deadtective]

I don't know, all my photography experience is in really vapid selfies. It might be a kind of rough transfer into actually taking pictures of other people for a change.

[spidersense]

luckily, it looks like they're not looking for quality otherwise I think I'd be out of a job.

[deadtective]

Oh, awesome. Who do I forward the sixty blurry shots of my roommate's foot that I'm about to take?

[heavyhitter]

hey, u
were supposed to be archenemies

so lets get to it i guess

[deadtective]

Oh, yeah? How much does that pay? Or are we supposed to coordinate fights in places we want stuff from and pick up the mildly broken merchandise for free?

[heavyhitter]

man idk im new to this
that second option sounds pretty good though no lie

[deadtective]

Well don't look at me for experience, I was neck deep in the supernatural noir genre, not comic books.

Let's give that pre-planning thing a whirl somewhere expensive, see how it turns out. Even if we fuck up and have to go with a different strategy we could probably still grab something nice out of it.

[ Text ; Private ]

[enucleation]

[ ID reads: Ken Kaneki ]

Hello, Hazel. I believe we need to talk.
I'm sorry it has taken me so long to contact you.

[ Text ; Private ]

[deadtective]

[wow, hey. it's the man of the hour himself. Hazel's actually pretty surprised to hear from him, since she's not sure what they have to discuss.]

Oh, hey, you're back. How's it going?

[ Text ; Private ]

[enucleation]

[ how about "i'm sorry i tried to kill you even if you don't die"? isn't that an important thing to discuss? ]

I am back.

I need to apologize to you, for what I have done last month.

[ Text ; Private ]

[deadtective]

[not anymore. she's pretty much used to it by now...especially when she brings it on herself.]

I don't really know if you have much to be sorry about that involves me. Most of that you couldn't exactly help.

[if he was going to apologize, it would have to be for dying, which had caused most of the stuff she'd had to wade through. but Hazel's not going to even consider asking for something like that.]

voice

[hubris]

Bootleg liquor over what border?


If it's what you're good at, do it.

permatext

[deadtective]

Whatever border people need it over, I guess. I've never done it before, so I wouldn't exactly say that's what I'm good at.

PERMA VOICE

[hubris]

Oh.

So what are you good at?

[deadtective]

Making mistakes in rapid succession, mostly.

text

[notyours]

Not really sure I like the idea of my new roommate threatening crime quite like that. I mean, not like I really care about this place much but yea.

I'm sure there's always retail places looking for workers. There's always jobs in retail.

[deadtective]

We were in this house first! If anyone has a right to fill the linen closet with stolen radios it's me and Stoneface.

And I can't work retail. For many reasons, none of which are really the sort of thing you discuss with strangers in public.

[notyours]

'cept for the whole 'stealing things is illegal' part. Then again, do cops here do that money-for-tips thing? 'Cause I'd not object to getting some free cash.

Hey, we all got our weaknesses. What about working a coffee shop or something? Or hell, go find a temp agency or something

permatext; ID reads Kaitou KID

[tuxedo_magician]

A private detective you say.

I might know of someone that I could introduce you to. Perhaps they might even be able to help that woefully lacking detective skill set you have.

[deadtective]

[Kaitou KID, really? Hazel takes a moment to be thoroughly unimpressed with that idea, because wow does it imply someone is trying too hard. who actually puts their name in with stylized capitalization, anyway?]

I don't know if that would be the best idea for either of us. I was investigating really specific sorts of cases.

[tuxedo_magician]

[HEY. It's a cool name, dammit. Especially when fans, detectives and cops alike shout it.

And it's not his fault that Yusaku Kudo read his international criminal number 1412 as KID.]

What sort of cases?

voice

[eastdetective]

[There were some things Conan found impossible to resist. Learning more about fellow detectives was one of those things.

Even if he was still a little annoyed at her from their last meeting.]

You didn't say you were a detective! What kinds of cases did you solve? Have you solved a lot of cases?

But it isn't good to commit crimes, you know. Especially for a detective.

permatext

[deadtective]

[prepare to be even more annoyed, Conan. she's not exactly a classical detective. at all.]

Of course I didn't, nobody asked! Who goes around screaming about their old jobs, anyway?

And besides, it's not like I was doing it for very long before I got here. I solved, like, three? I think it was three, and I was playing the long game on a fourth the whole way through.

They were all supernatural bullshit, and that is why it's perfectly fine that I kicked some laws in the shins. It's practically mandatory.

[eastdetective]

[Since he'd been unwillingly recruited for this superhero thing, Conan had run into a few self-proclaimed detectives. Hazel made the fourth. Of them, two had claimed to only have experience with supernatural cases, one was an author, and one may or many not be Sherlock Holmes.

Conan had not been impressed so far. He had standards when it came to being a first rate detective, okay.

And that wasn't even getting into his opinion on the supernatural.He makes an annoyed expression at the very idea.]

Oi! Just what kinds of laws were you ignoring? [Because that was a worrying way of phrasing things. Even for a detective like Conan, who tended to take a rather flexible interpretation of the letter of the law. He'd never let it stop him from a little blackmail or breaking and entering, as long as it meant justice was done in the end.]

And what kind of supernatural cases are you talking about? [Conan's own experience with supernatural cases involved proving they were all hoaxes. He had only just begun to reluctantly accept that here there was a possibility for something different. ]