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[deadtective]

We've got posts up playing icebreakers and asking for people to regale them with the exciting tales of their weekend, so I think it's safe to say that we're past the current crisis? We better be, because I'm sick of slicing my fingers up leafing through the classifieds and don't need anybody jumping on me for being flippant during a tragedy.

[so preemptively defensive, Hazel. maybe you should have had somebody proofread this before sending it out.]

I'm looking for a job. I had this whole thing typed up with my preferences and abilities, but it ended up sounding like I was looking to run bootleg liquor over the border.

Which. I mean, if there's an opening for that I'm totally down for an interview? But that's not exactly the kind of thing you advertise for.

I was a private detective back home, buuut honestly I think I broke more laws than solved actual cases. No convictions, though! Uh. The point is I have a shitty skillset and I am super desperate. If the job's not boring as hell and it can finance dozens of pre-ordered video games I'm interested.

Look, it's this or I start prying radios out of hovercars. The crime rate of Heropa is in your hands!!

Comments

PERMA VOICE

[hubris]

Oh.

So what are you good at?

[deadtective]

Making mistakes in rapid succession, mostly.

[hubris]

No one's going to hire you with that attitude.

[deadtective]

That's why I mentioned I haven't had a single conviction! It implies both honesty and an ability to adapt quickly to unexpected situations.

[hubris]

And ineptitude. Just don't mention it at all.

[deadtective]

You've obviously never seen a skilled mistake-maker in action - that's pretty much the only place that ineptitude has no place in my life. And it's going to come up eventually, might as well spin it nicely.

[hubris]

I've killed skilled mistake-makers. They're the easiest.

[deadtective]

I still stand by my statement. If you killed them, then they weren't all that skilled.