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[deadtective]

We've got posts up playing icebreakers and asking for people to regale them with the exciting tales of their weekend, so I think it's safe to say that we're past the current crisis? We better be, because I'm sick of slicing my fingers up leafing through the classifieds and don't need anybody jumping on me for being flippant during a tragedy.

[so preemptively defensive, Hazel. maybe you should have had somebody proofread this before sending it out.]

I'm looking for a job. I had this whole thing typed up with my preferences and abilities, but it ended up sounding like I was looking to run bootleg liquor over the border.

Which. I mean, if there's an opening for that I'm totally down for an interview? But that's not exactly the kind of thing you advertise for.

I was a private detective back home, buuut honestly I think I broke more laws than solved actual cases. No convictions, though! Uh. The point is I have a shitty skillset and I am super desperate. If the job's not boring as hell and it can finance dozens of pre-ordered video games I'm interested.

Look, it's this or I start prying radios out of hovercars. The crime rate of Heropa is in your hands!!

Comments

[tuxedo_magician]

Ha ha ha. As amusing as that would be, an album full of taunts to the nice Inspector and the task force, I don't think they would appreciate that very much.

I fear that I always did that, poor Tantei-kun would suffer some sort of heart attack.

[deadtective]

Only if you don't have a strong back beat! If the tune if catchy you can sell pretty much anything!

Some rival if he can't handle a little creativity.

[tuxedo_magician]

Something to think about certainly.

There is a reason I refer to most detectives I know as 'critics'.

[deadtective]

If you ever need a shitty lyricist, hit me up. I'll probably still need the extra money by then.

Well, I mean. It's kind of their job to criticize law-breaking, isn't it? They just have to do it so brutally someone ends up in jail over it.

[tuxedo_magician]

I'll keep that in mind.

Certainly. And I don't hold it against them, when they're revealing murders and nefarious plans that involve blimps and a supposed virus and various other uncouth endeavors.

[deadtective]

...I think you're falling a little too far into Hollywood plots again.

[tuxedo_magician]

No, actually. That really happened. There was also the flying of a jetliner at one point too. We had to make an emergency landing with poisoned pilots.

And the rapid loss of fuel.

[deadtective]

That one's a lot less impressive - it's almost believable. You need to step up your game if you're going for complete ridiculousness.

[tuxedo_magician]

Unfortunately, those are the sort of situations you get into when you hang around Tantei-kun.

[deadtective]

Unbelievable but ultimately unsatisfying?

[tuxedo_magician]

Unbelievable but ultimately satisfying whenever he puts the criminals in jail.

... present company not included, of course.

[deadtective]

[hahaha if only he knew how relevant that statement actually was...]

I don't know, some people really look forward to retirement. And I heard they're pretty flexible with what you can do in jail now!

[tuxedo_magician]

Perhaps.

Although Phantom Thieves are not one for cages.

[deadtective]

Ok, so, bad past experiences means I have to clarify this. Are we talking actual ghost thieves orrr..?

[tuxedo_magician]

There's a bit of a story behind the reason for this question, isn't there?

[deadtective]

You mean the question you still haven't answered? Yes.

[tuxedo_magician]

If I answer the question, do I get to hear the story?

[deadtective]

Sure, if you really want to.

[Private]

[tuxedo_magician]

Phantom in the sense that I'm very much alive and yet no one has been able to catch me. Very few even realize I'm there until I make my grand entrance.

[Private]

[deadtective]

[private now, really? Hazel rolls her eyes but plays along quietly. whatever floats your boat, buddy.]

Considering how you've been trumpeting around here, that's kind of a surprise.

[Private]

[tuxedo_magician]

[He figures if he's getting a story out of you, Hazel, that you might not want it broadcast to the network at large.

He's trying to be a gentleman here.]

I never hide myself during a performance, but I can't allow my critics to ruin my show before it even begins.

[Private]

[deadtective]

[if only Hazel were as careful with her stories as she was with protecting her undead status. alas.]

I don't know, that might be kind of fun to watch too.

[Private]

[tuxedo_magician]

[Perhaps KID should teach her a thing or two. Or even three.]

There was a reason I suggested Edogawa to you. Of all the detectives and policemen I've dealt with, he has been the most astute when it comes to finding me. Before and after a heist.

[Private]

[deadtective]

Sounds like you might get that Hollywood deal after all with a biopic.

[hm. ...oh, but she was supposed to be volunteering information too, wasn't she?]

Guess it's my turn now, huh?

[Private]

[tuxedo_magician]

I'm sure a movie about Kaitou KID would be a well welcome one. Unless you're Nakamori-keibu of course.

It is, yes.