001 | video

[ferrisbuellean]

[The video feed pans on to a well dressed, perfectly presented guy offering a winning smile as he sits in the booth of some fancy bar, all wood and leather, while nursing a glass of whiskey. Someone else is holding the camera and there's enough shaky cam and unfocused zooming to make the Bourne franchise jealous.]

Hey there. Do you like watching a ridiculously good looking man do law stuff? Want to watch him play some nondescript puzzle game on his phone for an entire hour? If yes, then have I got a surprise for you. If no, watch it anyway because apparently I need the ratings.

Jeff Winger here, Lawyer at Large and city hero bringing you a brand new series about me. [Another oh-so charming smile and a dramatic point to the camera.] And law!

Danger! Intrigue! Thrills! These are some things you'll probably never see in my show, but watch it anyway because hey, you might just strike it lucky. And ladies, you might just strike it lucky with me.

[Smirk smirk smirk, pause and then a glance off camera to someone, smugness replaced with a curious furrow of brows.] You guys do know I was disbarred ri-- [And the feed ends.]

Comments

[ferrisbuellean]

Yup, got it in one.

Okay, so picture this. The brooding and reluctant front man, despising the attention he's getting but only getting more because of it. Forced to work cases for a city he doesn't know or care about and gradually unravelling a network of lies and deceit that they never wanted him to find...

This working for you yet?

[redplainsrider]

Reckon it might workin' fer me, if only it'weren't so obvious the broodin' an' reluctant front man weren't so broodin' an' reluctant 'bout it.

[ferrisbuellean]

I can work on that. Give me another day or two in this place and more alcohol and I should be able to genuinely hate myself.

[redplainsrider]

Reckon that sounds 'bout right. Alcohol is mighty fine for things like that.

[ferrisbuellean]

It really is. And yet it's also the best thing ever.

[redplainsrider]

[Sighs almost wistfully.]

Dun I know it. I miss it like a cowboy misses his poor dead horse.

[ferrisbuellean]

It's still here for you. Alcohol never abandons you.

[Dirty enabler.]

[redplainsrider]

True. T'were me that abandoned liquor. [Booze didn't deserve to be so abandoned.]

[ferrisbuellean]

Oh, ouch. T-total? My bad.

[Well this is awkward.]

[redplainsrider]

Heh, bagropa, I keep fergettin' how that sounds to folks. Ain't nothin' serious like that, dun be feelin' all awkward like that. Though, reckon that reaction'll make ya look good on yer show.

[ferrisbuellean]

Phew, ok, good, because for a second there I was half thinking I was gonna be the reason you fell off the wagon.

[redplainsrider]

Nooo-no no, ain't gonna happen, 'less yer plannin' on invitin' me out and forcin' a bottle down my throat. But I wouldn't do that, if'n I were you.

[ferrisbuellean]

Nope, no plans for that to happen. I'm not that desperate for a drinking buddy. I guess I have space for a few non alcoholic drinking buddies though.

[redplainsrider]

How presumptuous of you, feller.

[ferrisbuellean]

Hey, the offer it open is all I'm saying.

[redplainsrider]

[Dry half-grin.]

Lookin' fer companions already, or side characters fer yer documentary?

[ferrisbuellean]

Can't it be both? A guy alone in this new land, trying to strike out and make friends. Any filming that gets done is just a bonus.

[redplainsrider]

Reckon we'll see then, won't we?

[ferrisbuellean]

I reckon so. I'm sure we'll see each other around.

But hey, I don't think I ever caught your name.

fuck, that icon

[redplainsrider]

[Here we go.]

The Red Plains Rider.

appreciate western jeff

[ferrisbuellean]

Is that a title or an actual name?

lol why do you have these icons

[redplainsrider]

Name.

because its beautiful canon. gonna keep going now!!!1

[ferrisbuellean]

Then it's a pleasure to sort of meet you The Red Plains Rider-- Look, is Red all right? Cause that's kind of a mouthful.

[redplainsrider]

Yes, sir, you humans ain't seemin' capable of sayin' the whole thing, so you may call me Red.

[ferrisbuellean]

'Humans'? You mean to say you're not human?