001 | video

[ferrisbuellean]

[The video feed pans on to a well dressed, perfectly presented guy offering a winning smile as he sits in the booth of some fancy bar, all wood and leather, while nursing a glass of whiskey. Someone else is holding the camera and there's enough shaky cam and unfocused zooming to make the Bourne franchise jealous.]

Hey there. Do you like watching a ridiculously good looking man do law stuff? Want to watch him play some nondescript puzzle game on his phone for an entire hour? If yes, then have I got a surprise for you. If no, watch it anyway because apparently I need the ratings.

Jeff Winger here, Lawyer at Large and city hero bringing you a brand new series about me. [Another oh-so charming smile and a dramatic point to the camera.] And law!

Danger! Intrigue! Thrills! These are some things you'll probably never see in my show, but watch it anyway because hey, you might just strike it lucky. And ladies, you might just strike it lucky with me.

[Smirk smirk smirk, pause and then a glance off camera to someone, smugness replaced with a curious furrow of brows.] You guys do know I was disbarred ri-- [And the feed ends.]

Comments

Video

[redplainsrider]

[She is not impressed with all those winning smiles and smirks or shaky cam.]

Please. You ain't tellin' me folks watchin' folks play comm games actually passes fer entertainment 'round here.

[ferrisbuellean]

Apparently? They're telling me no but I dunno what else they intend to film. Don't expect any commentary with it either, I'm not a Let's Player.

Video;

[dogsled]

What exactly is a Lawyer at Large?

[ Says the walking Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue. Only with less nudity and kissing. And a hat. ]

[redplainsrider]

[No idea what a Let's Player is, no interest in knowing what the hell that is, because it sounds dumb.]

So...yer sayin' the people what brought us here're makin' ya film yerself playin' Tetris?

[ferrisbuellean]

[Just trying to work out if hipster or lumberjack...]

I literally have no idea, but it sounds good, right?

[ferrisbuellean]

[Wise choice, Red, wise choice.]

Not film myself, oh no, that would be too simple. Instead I have my very own film crew who follow me around. [And if the sarcasm wasn't obvious enough, he's helpful enough to sound pissed off at the last part.] All the time.

[dogsled]

[ Both ]

It does have a certain ring to it. So you're...you're filming some kind of documentary about yourself? Was that your idea?

[heavyhitter]

wtf they gave u a tv show?? why not me

[ferrisbuellean]

Thank you.

[Oh Fraser, you know just how to make a guy feel better.]

Anyway, yeah, I mean no. No, its not my idea. I wouldn't come up with something like this but hey, maybe it's a stroke of genius. Who wouldn't want to watch me?

[It's hard to tell if he's even being sarcastic. He's probably not.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Lucky you, to have such a captive audience.

[ferrisbuellean]

I've yet to work out if this is a blessing or a curse.

[redplainsrider]

[Her stoicism breaks as she snorts, trying not to bark out in laughter.] Ho! That sounds--is this yer job??

[heavyhitter]

uh blessing??? unless u hate fame and attention and free shit

video

[aggressiveapathy]

Do it shirtless. Or with a panda on your back or something. I get all the other stuff for free every stupid day.

[ferrisbuellean]

Yeah, I dunno, something about filling a gap in the market for reality and hero shows. I'll be honest, I wasn't really listening.

Lucky you, to have a chance to watch it, huh?

[ferrisbuellean]

You want shirtless? I can do shirtless.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I can quite honestly say that I anticipate high antics. In fact, if you're looking for guest stars for your... Legal reality television show? Whatever genre that might be -- anyway, I know a few entertaining individuals.

There's a man named Officer Hank Schrader here.

[ferrisbuellean]

Iiiii guess so, yeah. [Amusement is better than the not impressed face, he'll take it, and even add a scoff of his own.]

What'd you get?

[ferrisbuellean]

But being followed around is so taxing.

[dogsled]

Exactly, besides, anyone who did watch you might actually learn something about the law, and that can only be a valuable lesson--don't you agree?

[ It's not his totally charming smile. It's more like the one he reserves for particularly exuberant young suspects, polite enough, but also long-suffering. ]

What were you saying about being disbarred, before?

[heavyhitter]

check it out u already got the attitude

[ferrisbuellean]

Uh, I think the term you're looking for is documentary. [Duh face, so classy.]

This Hank guy an actual officer? Because I'm usually on the defence side. I'm the guy putting them back out, not keeping them in if y'know what I mean? Officers don't always appreciate the skill it takes to unravel their hard work.

[redplainsrider]

My job's dang awful, I'm inspectin' the quality'a roombas, but at least I ain't bein' followed around by cameras. Are they followin' ya always?

[slightlyoffchilt]

That is definitely not the word I had in mind, actually.

-- Defense? Well that's interesting. It might make for good ratings, don't you think? The conventionally attractive, cocky defense lawyer embattled with the much rounder, much angrier former DEA agent who has since been downgraded.

I doubt I'm wrong to suggest that you probably don't respect authority.

text; comm tag is "Tadashi"

[tadeadshi]

[Yeah no he totally caught that "disbarred" comment and he is. Squinting so hard at that video feed because um.]

So how often will this show be airing?