001 | video

[ferrisbuellean]

[The video feed pans on to a well dressed, perfectly presented guy offering a winning smile as he sits in the booth of some fancy bar, all wood and leather, while nursing a glass of whiskey. Someone else is holding the camera and there's enough shaky cam and unfocused zooming to make the Bourne franchise jealous.]

Hey there. Do you like watching a ridiculously good looking man do law stuff? Want to watch him play some nondescript puzzle game on his phone for an entire hour? If yes, then have I got a surprise for you. If no, watch it anyway because apparently I need the ratings.

Jeff Winger here, Lawyer at Large and city hero bringing you a brand new series about me. [Another oh-so charming smile and a dramatic point to the camera.] And law!

Danger! Intrigue! Thrills! These are some things you'll probably never see in my show, but watch it anyway because hey, you might just strike it lucky. And ladies, you might just strike it lucky with me.

[Smirk smirk smirk, pause and then a glance off camera to someone, smugness replaced with a curious furrow of brows.] You guys do know I was disbarred ri-- [And the feed ends.]

Comments

[ferrisbuellean]

Right. It's cool. I wasn't even being defensive. [Yes, he was.]

Not all of us can afford Harvard. Or give a crap enough to study that hard.

[acclimatized]

[ he really was. ]

I suppose that's why they've stuck you on freesat.

[ferrisbuellean]

What the hell is freesat?

[acclimatized]

Uh, basic telly. Daytime stuff.

[ferrisbuellean]

[Damn Brits and their weird ass language.]

Hey, have you seen this face?! I'm prime time viewing.

[acclimatized]

Yeah, it's hard to miss. You could be a dead-ringer for Jeremy Kyle.

[ferrisbuellean]

I literally don't understand like 80% of what you're talking about.

[And he has a British friend! He thought he was informed!]

[acclimatized]

Uh, don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll go down well.

[ferrisbuellean]

Oh, I'm sure too. Will you be watching?

[acclimatized]

Sure, why not? It's not like there's anything else on that's worth watching.

[ferrisbuellean]

I'll take that as a compliment. [Even if it really isn't.]

You sound like you've been here a while.

[acclimatized]

Fifteen months! That's not including the going and coming back. It happens, sometimes. Porter can't make up its bloody mind.

[ferrisbuellean]

Jeez, that's longer than most marriages last. You've been sent back before though?

[acclimatized]

Just once before. I came back a couple of months later, even though it was a lot longer for me.

[ferrisbuellean]

So you were gone for two months but were at home for much longer? How does that even work?

[It's like weird Inspector Spacetime shit up in here.]

[acclimatized]

I have nooo idea. It just happens.

[ferrisbuellean]

Great. More weird crap to not even bother understanding. That can go along with the multi-dimensions, super powers, glowy tattoos and pretty much everything else here.