001 | video

[ferrisbuellean]

[The video feed pans on to a well dressed, perfectly presented guy offering a winning smile as he sits in the booth of some fancy bar, all wood and leather, while nursing a glass of whiskey. Someone else is holding the camera and there's enough shaky cam and unfocused zooming to make the Bourne franchise jealous.]

Hey there. Do you like watching a ridiculously good looking man do law stuff? Want to watch him play some nondescript puzzle game on his phone for an entire hour? If yes, then have I got a surprise for you. If no, watch it anyway because apparently I need the ratings.

Jeff Winger here, Lawyer at Large and city hero bringing you a brand new series about me. [Another oh-so charming smile and a dramatic point to the camera.] And law!

Danger! Intrigue! Thrills! These are some things you'll probably never see in my show, but watch it anyway because hey, you might just strike it lucky. And ladies, you might just strike it lucky with me.

[Smirk smirk smirk, pause and then a glance off camera to someone, smugness replaced with a curious furrow of brows.] You guys do know I was disbarred ri-- [And the feed ends.]

Comments

[dogsled]

At the time, no.

[ He doesn't want to speak about Victoria any more than that. It's a sign of his healing that he brought her up at all. ]

And I suppose we could define it as a romantic entanglement in which you are not the only one to demonstrate feelings. A year isn't so bad, but--have you ever thought about family? Settling down?

[ferrisbuellean]

[Not gonna push the woman thing because serial killer ladies are not even something he wants to touch upon.]

Well, it's not so much unrequited love. It's more just... friends with benefits. Not really boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.

[dogsled]

[ Friends with benefits? That doesn't sound right. What sort of benefits do friends provide? ]

And do you commonly require alcohol to instigate this...benefit?

[ferrisbuellean]

Not usually, actually. My charm is enough.

[dogsled]

Well then, my point... I suppose. How long have you known these friends that you have benefits with? Years?

[ferrisbuellean]

Uh, yeah sure, one of them. Some of them I just meet and keep it going. Doesn't have to be someone I've know for ages. You know how friends with benefits work, right...?

[dogsled]

Not exactly, but I imagine you're about to explain it to me?

[ And now you'd better, Jeff, so enjoy that. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Eye roll.]

Well, when a man and a woman like each other very much...

[dogsled]

Yes?

[ferrisbuellean]

I'm not doing this. Ask your partner.

[dogsled]

An explanation isn't his responsibility. And I thought you could talk your way out of anything?

[ferrisbuellean]

I can. I just don't really want to explain sex to a grown man.

[dogsled]

I know about sex, I just don't know what social security has to do with it.

[ferrisbuellean]

I get the feeling you've never actually been in an actual relationship.

[dogsled]

Where I cook for a woman, buy her presents, watch romantic movies with her and light altogether too many candles?

No, never.

[ Sarcasm, see. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

Just because you can explain it, doesn't mean you've done it.

[dogsled]

I have done it.

[ Matter of fact, not petulant at all. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Oh, totally mature. He can sense it.]

Recently?

[dogsled]

Not since she left, and my partner shot me in the back.

[ferrisbuellean]

[This is beautiful.]

Your current partner or a previous one?

[dogsled]

Ray Vecchio, my former partner. Another American, obviously.

[ferrisbuellean]

Well obviously. If it involved unnecessary police shootings, it's gonna be Americans.

[dogsled]

Obviously. He told me that he thought she had a gun, but... I personally think he shot me on purpose.

[ Douche, Fraser. With Ray not here to defend himself or anything. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

Really? You're suggesting someone would want to shoot you on purpose? I don't believe it.

[dogsled]

Well... Well that's a very admirable compliment, but I'm afraid they do. Quite often, actually. And my uniform makes quite the target.