text, from Joseph Joestar's communicator

[heavyhitter]

ok whos the asshole that stole my housemates
seriously all 3, just gone. these are grown ass men who should at least be hard to fit out the window, so what gives
was it one of u, new kids???? show up and start thieving dudes?? fork em over i wasnt done with those losers yet

missing: 1 kotetsu 1 hal 1 oliver, if seen return to ramir
no reward



ps this is ramir not joseph, some asshat ALSO stole my phone, WHAT GIVES THIS PLACE IS FULL OF CRIME. WE NEED A HERO TO GET ON TOP OF THAT.

Comments

[heavyhitter]

dont worry i wouldnt hit u! ur way too fragile for that, itd be no fun

[enigmaestro]

Should I ask you what WOULD be fun? Dare I?

[heavyhitter]

u know what would be great, if i put u up somewhere u couldnt get down from. like a high shelf.

[enigmaestro]

As long as you don't use the word "elf" in concert with "shelf" we may be able to find some middle ground.

[heavyhitter]

i would never, ur not nearly creepy enough to be in that league

[enigmaestro]

This means you can't use "leprechaun" in any context, as well. They're similar. It counts.

[heavyhitter]

look has this been an issue for u, u seem sensitive

[enigmaestro]

I'm not sensitive.

[heavyhitter]

falsehood

[enigmaestro]

I'll have you know that's trademarked.

[heavyhitter]

r u gonna sue me because i was too accurate

[enigmaestro]

You said ONE WORD, how are you measuring accuracy?

[heavyhitter]

with my stunning intuition

[enigmaestro]

Amazing how Broadway hasn't seemed to beckon you.

[heavyhitter]

broadway WISHES i had the time

[enigmaestro]

All of Broadway. Collectively. Not just the street.

And they say I have an ego.

[heavyhitter]

only the they that hasnt met me yet

[enigmaestro]

Their lost.

Do you require any help? With regards to your lost living companions.

[heavyhitter]

yeah
i need SOMEONE to watch shitty movies with me if theyre cleared out

[enigmaestro]

Too great a sacrifice. You asked for the sun, Ramir.

[heavyhitter]

awwwww come on itll be great
ill make popcorn!

[enigmaestro]

Only if we spend an equal amount of time watching documentaries.

[heavyhitter]

holy shit are u kidding
u are, right

[enigmaestro]

I have quite a selection to recommend. Have you ever been curious about the modern history of the crossword puzzle?

Of course you have.

[heavyhitter]

i might still take u up on that, thats how desperate i am