[Video]

[hunterrabbit]

Hey. Who knows about cats? Not me, that’s who! [And she’s not too happy about it.]

But there’re enough people on the network that someone’s gotta know, right? So- help me out! [It’s more of an angry demand than a request…

Touka leans off-screen to reach for something. There’re a coupe of ugly, high-pitched “meowing” sounds mixed in with a few things toppling over and falling onto the floor. After a few seconds pass, she finally produces a small, mangy-looking grey tabby in both her hands. Actually, this little scrap is barely an adult cat…more like he’s just out of kittenhood.

Some attempts at brushing have been made, but there’re still clumps of grime visible in the cat’s fur.]

I got this guy off the streets, so I figured he might be a pain in the ass. But he’s tearing my shit up, getting dirt everywhere, and I know cats hate water, but I’d really, really like to get him cleaned up.

[She gives an exasperated sigh as the cat continues to squirm in her hands.]

Just- I don’t know. Advice? Anyone? [Cats were supposed to be easy to take care of, weren’t they?]

Comments

[ text ]

[enucleation]

You aren't afraid of them, are you?

[video]

[hunterrabbit]

Does it look like I'm afraid of this little ashole? [She dangles the poor cat in front of the camera by the scruff of his neck]

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[cleptes]

He might need a little washing to get the rest of that dirt off. My advice is to use a sink instead of a bath and have a basin of water at the side to rinse. You could continue brushing to remove the dirt, but if its ingrained, it won't work.

Be gentle and talk in a soothing tone. Try not to frighten the poor thing.

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[hunterrabbit]

[What is a "gentle and soothing" tone. it's definitely something she doesn't know how to use.]

Using the sink's not a bad idea, but getting him to stay still will be the real challenge. [The cat wriggles back and forth in her hands to try and break free, so she holds him closer to her chest and lets out another sigh.]

Exhibit A.

[resipiscent]

I think if you rub his fur with a damp cloth it should be a little easier.

[hunterrabbit]

Mmm...yeah, I like that. I think it might actually work. [It's better than trying to stick him in a bathtub. Less of a mess, too.]

Speaking from experience?

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[grimreaping]

Is there no one there who can assist you?

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[hunterrabbit]

There're a few people, but I don't wanna have to call them over every time I need to do this.

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[footnoting]

What is it with you humans and posting about cats? [Says the... cat. Who's currently pushing a pair of spectacles up its nose with a paw.] The destruction is just an assurance that he's beginning to think of your things as his own.

[He waves a paw at the screen]

Now let him go, it's indignant just waving him about like that!

[For the love of god, don't listen to him.]

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[hunterrabbit]

[None of that's going to sink in anyway.]

Just...what the hell am I looking at, exactly?

[wonk]

here is the thing about cats

u gotta be slow with em

he thinks youre a ginormous asshole tryna fuck with him right now hell chill out a lil bit w time and food

Video

[hunterrabbit]

I wouldn't mind taking things slower if he wasn't such a goddamn dirtball.

[She holds the cat up and looks him right in the eye.] Aren't cats supposed to clean themselves? How did you even get this dirty?

[And looking back to the camera again.] But yeah. Getting some extra food might help. The way to an animal's heart. [And he sure can eat.]

[animalage]

Wow, he's kind of a mess. [poor little guy.]

Maybe a toy would help? Like, putting a toy he likes in the bath tub when you're washing him. It might distract him from the water.

[hunterrabbit]

He doesn't seem too interested in any of the toys I've tried. Maybe I'm getting the wrong kind...[She taps her chin.] Aren't there ones that're filled with catnip or something?

action;

[selfpraise]

[Why is there another dirty animal in the house when he's just gotten rid of Hawke's dogs. He'd been polite enough to ignore the crashing, but once he realises the cause he decides to step in.]

You should put it outside. It can probably smell the dogs that used to occupy the place.

[hunterrabbit]

[Touka swivels around on her chair to face Dorian - holding the cat tight against her chest to keep him from darting out and wreaking havoc on the rest of the house. Cue an angry meow of protest.]

Listen, I'm sorry about the noise. [She really is. This cat has such an ugly meow.] But I'll make sure he stays in my room so he doesn't wreck anything else, alright? Outside's not going to be any better for him.

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[kendo_taisho]

Oi, ya need any help with him? If he ain't been declawed then he might draw blood if ya try to bathe 'im.

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[hunterrabbit]

Ah, I don't really care if he scratches me or anything. I'm just tired of him terrorizing my room. [And eliminating the dirt would be a good first step.]

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[bindsthedead]

I'll help you wash him- I owe you that much.

Does he have a name yet?

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[hunterrabbit]

Not yet. I'm not really great at coming up with names. Got any suggestions?

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[whathawksdo]

Cat.

[ ...no, she isn't about to start barking or anything, but still. Cat.

Uh, right, anyway. Hello, Touka. She may have been avoiding you (and the house) up until this point after, well, things. Again, though, cat. Now there's a cat involved. ]

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[hunterrabbit]

[Has she found a way of luring Hawke back to the house at last?]

Do you wanna come pet him? Just- fair warning. He's dirty. And angry.

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[katastrophe]

Wanna let me show you how to turn it inside out?

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[hunterrabbit]

[Nishi must know this line is coming, it's practically scripted:]

How about I turn you inside out first?

audio | id reads "karen starr"

[boobwindow]

Have you tried buying wet wipes?

[hunterrabbit]

Someone mentioned a damp towel might help...Problem is- some of the dirt's really stuck on there.

[selfequipped]

First off, cats are evil. [It's a familiar mantra for Kate, and she can't help returning to it now.]

Secondly, sidestepping the whole "why did you decide to pick a cat up off the street if you wanted one," why don't you take it to an animal groomer?

[hunterrabbit]

Can't say I've seen any proof that you're wrong.

[There actually is a story behind her cat-selection. It wasn't as random as it probably seems...But it doesn't change the fact that he's here now and wrecking the place.]

I looked at a few groomers, but all of them are always busy with other animals. I think it'd just freak this guy out if he was around a bunch of dogs. [She sighs and scratches behind his ears.]