Audio

[notasaviour]

[His ID currently reads Hulkling, and there's not much point being in audio to talk about something that's in a video clip, but he can't really deal with being visible right now. He hates drawing attention to himself, he's always preferred to be part of the group whenever possible. And yes, he knows this is going to draw possibly more attention. But he can't help wanting to apologise, even if intellectually he can understand it wasn't entirely his fault.

He also doesn't want people getting a look at the room he shares with his boyfriend. The room he hasn't left much for a couple of days.

When he talks, he sounds a little tired. Sleep hasn't been the easiest thing for him, the last couple of days.]

You know, one of the last things I said to anyone before the whole... random anger thing was that I wasn't usually subject to uncontrollable rage despite the name. Irony, huh?

[Although he isn't sounding very amused by it. Not the funny kind of irony, clearly.]

How do you get over knowing someone- something else got in your head and messed with your thoughts? Because if anyone has a suggestion, I'd like to hear it.

[He hesitates, and then adds-]

Sorry. Just give me another couple of days, I'll be fine.

Comments

perma-audio »

[verification]

Personally, I downed the better half of a bottle of wine after I spent a week thinking I was a scorned sea princess.

[notasaviour]

I wish that was going to work. But- scorned sea princess?

video.

[nitidus]

I'm not sure early off-set alcoholism and a myriad of terrible life choices is what you're looking for here, so I suppose my suggestion would be: do the opposite of those things.

Audio

[notasaviour]

Terrible life choices are a pre-existing issue, but alcoholism isn't likely to be a problem. Standard superhuman resistances.

private.

[selfequipped]

You don't. But you don't let those thoughts win. That wasn't you, Teddy. That isn't something you'd do.

[The last few days have been hectic, to say the least. But she's always prepped and ready with a pep talk. Even the saddest of them.]

private.

[notasaviour]

Wasn't it? I mean, I did it. And I hit Billy, Kate, and I threatened him, and I wanted him dead. I'm the worst boyfriend ever.

[He sighs.]

And you have to admit, it's not exactly good publicity for not being Registered.

video; private

[girlwithout]

I know you don't really know me that well so if you don't want to, it's cool, but I've been through some stuff with mind control before, so I guess - if you want to talk about it, I could listen?

perma-audio, private.

[notasaviour]

I- don't know. It's just- people will forget it eventually, but I'm not sure I can.

[Video] - Private

[tactile_telekinesis]

[Kon keeps this private because there are plenty of people here he doesn't want knowing this.]

It's always going to be there. But it gets easier, just don't shut yourself away for too long, it just makes it harder. I know, I was there not that long ago.

Just be with your friends.

[Audio] - Private

[notasaviour]

Thanks. But I know my friends are probably going to be okay, it's superhero 101 getting your head messed with, but... I just can't stop thinking, what if that's all they can see now?

voice

[mousquetaire]

How terrible does it make me that I'm glad I'm not the only one?

[ He's embarrassed. Also, he's angry with Lucifer, but that seems like a counterproductive way of getting over anger issues. ]

We stop them from doing it again. That's how.

voice

[notasaviour]

Not that terrible. It's pretty much the only thing that's actually helping, honestly. At least it wasn't just me, so at least it probably wasn't just me, if that makes sense.

Stopping them from doing anything like that again is probably the best solution, sure. I wish there was some guarantee I won't fall for it next time too, though.

voice;

[defensebonds]

[ He's heard about the things that happened since he arrived here; thankfully, he wasn't effected -- but he ran into those that were. News travels fast around here, he's finding, which has its ups and downs. Right now, a big down seems to be the fact that someone's slip-up ends up on display for everybody to see.

Steve would keep a polite distance over the matter, but he knows what it's like, getting somebody in your head. He got off lucky, but it didn't change the discomfort of somebody poking around like they were restuffing a pillow. It seems only right to connect. ]

From what I'm getting, you had something messing around in your head -- and people and things pokin' around where they don't belong have a tendency of leaving some pretty nasty marks.

[ He pauses. ]

You told me how you're not like your namesake. And despite what I'm hearing happened, I still believe that. You should, too.

perma-voice;

[notasaviour]

[For a moment it doesn't even matter it's not the Cap from back home; it's just a relief to hear from him. If Captain America says it's okay, then it's... probably okay. Eventually.

It's also embarrassing to be caught in a low moment by him, though. Which probably explains the sudden need to downplay it, as much as possible.]

Honestly? I kind of have a whole new appreciation for the Hulk.

[He hesitates, and finally adds, quietly.]

But... thanks.

private | audio

[gevurah]

Step one is to not blame yourself.

[ Easier said than done; she knows. ]

private | audio

[notasaviour]

If I could not blame myself, trust me, I'd be all over that.

PRIVATE.

[selfimage]

Erm—well, hello ...

[ this is difficult for him. while he's gotten better at words of encouragement, it's still dipping his toes in new territory where certain people are involved. so he brushes it off in favor of a little levity. ]

The camera got your good side, if it's any consolation.

PRIVATE.

[notasaviour]

I'm not sure there's ever a good side to someone getting in your head and twisting everything around until you can't think straight.

[Does he sound a little bitter? He might sound a little bitter.]

...Crap. Sorry, Loki.

text

[excitababble]

Besides ignoring it, and trying to pretend it didn't happen?

text

[notasaviour]

That's usually my solution. Sometimes it doesn't work so well.

video

[liverletdie]

You don't, at first. You learn to make yourself better, to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Audio

[notasaviour]

[No. No, no, and also no. There might be a half-stifled snarl from Teddy's end of the line.]

You're the last person I ever want to talk to. About anything.

[Well, not entirely true. Norman Osborn might just edge him out.]

audio;

[dragony]

It depends what you think "getting over it" means. Or what you want it to mean.

[ The voice is that of an older teen girl, low-middling in pitch, but it's hard to tell if she's tired or bored, or something else entirely, for how little inflection there is. ]

As long as you remember it, you won't go back to being the exact same person you were before. Is that what you're hoping for?

audio;

[notasaviour]

No. I just want to be able to look at my- friends and not worry about they see when they look at me.

[Because he can't ever quite seem to get over that. He might not be normal, he might not be popular, but he's still in some ways defined by what other people see in him. And he'd like to not have to worry about that being fear or discomfort.]

voice.

[glowsferatu]

[ she debates whether to say this privately or not, but she's just passive-aggressive enough to want people to see it, because she's sure he's going to get as much of it as she did. ]

People are going to tell you a lot of unhelpful things, like that they forgive you regardless, or that you have no business feeling guilty because it wasn't your choice. The first step is to prepare for those, think up a good blanket response to them. Preferably one that will shut them up properly.

You have every damn right to feel responsible. To an extent, we should, even if the blame doesn't fall squarely on our shoulders. It keeps us more vigilant from letting it happen again. People are too quick to shirk responsibility on outside forces, and that does no one a single favor.

The second step, well. [ what was it annie told her, when she was in prison? ] Don't do yourself anymore harm than necessary in order to stand yourself once again. Find that line, and quickly.

voice.

[notasaviour]

[Oddly, that... helps. He's always struggled a little with being who he is, and not who he thinks he has to be for the situation. And he can't stop feeling guilty here, even though people are telling him he shouldn't so it's clearly not what people want from the situation at all, and the conflict makes him uneasy and feeling a little like he's being wrong.

Being told otherwise just helps, that's all, and he's grateful for that.]

Thanks. It's just... I remember making the choices, you know? So it's not like I can pretend they weren't anything to do with me and get on with it.

I'll try not to. Harming myself really isn't usually my thing, anyway.

video

[rathercommon]

It's a hard thing, I'd think. Dealing with that sort of...loss of will. At least when you've made mistakes, they were your mistakes to make. But when you've been taken over by something else, you've got to deal not only with the fear that you've hurt others, but also with the feelings of helplessness that come with being stripped of your autonomy. Non-supernatural situations of helplessness, I've read, often lead to post-traumatic stress disorder; I've got to imagine that sort of helplessness, even more complete, would do the same.

[ She studies him a moment, then suggests: ]

There won't be any easy solution, I think, no more than there would be for a more conventional sort of trauma. I'd say the only thing you can do is seek out the help and support of your friends, and perhaps a course of psychotherapy.

audio

[notasaviour]

[And that's half the problem, that all this is on top of events he also still needs to process, like certain people getting in his head and whispering, and having his shifting turned against him. It's all a little too much, and the comments on autonomy hit a little harder than he'd like.]

...It's not much fun having your control taken away, no. I don't know about anything else, but it does tend to be bad for sleeping.

[He takes a deep breath. He doesn't really want to talk about it, so he aims for mildly self-deprecating and moves on.]

An easy solution sure would be nice, though.

voice;

[grouchinleather]

You don't.

But I've found punching things generally helps you almost forget you did them for a while.

perma-voice;

[notasaviour]

Punching things was kind of the problem in the first place, though. I'm not sure punching more things will really help.

voice; private

[blondtactician]

I don't know if you ever get over it entirely.

I think knowing that others understood it wasn't my fault - that they knew I would never do those things of my own will - helped a lot.

It's a violation, just as bad as if it happened to your body. Give yourself some time. And then when you think it's been enough time, give yourself more time than that.

voice; private

[notasaviour]

I wish there was time, honestly. I don't think there's going to be, though. Next week there'll probably be an alien invasion, or something.

I think the worrying thing really is how easily someone took control away from me.

[inmyothertights]

Hey.

[Is that enough? Probably not.]

I think I owe you like.

A milkshake?

God, Pleasantville is getting to me.

perma-private

[notasaviour]

Hey?

[And if he's a little uncertain about everything, he's still happy to hear from Billy.]

If anyone owes anyone here, it's me. And it's probably way more than a milkshake. I'm sorry, Billy. Really, really sorry.

[The reference does get Billy a very small laugh.]

I don't think it's wholesome enough for Pleasantville

text;

[witchplease]

[ She frowns at the post. This is the... boyfriend? Of Billy? That connection means-- she feels that she should be concerned. She should want to help. But honestly, she's usually on the other end of this, being the one that delves into other people's heads and scrambles things about. Anything she could say on the matter probably wouldn't be appreciated, but she tries in the one way she can relate. ]

you do not have to be fine.

text;

[notasaviour]

I'm getting that impression. It's... helping. Thank you.

[He actually does appreciate the effort. And being told he doesn't have to just be okay, for that matter.]

audio;

[pyms]

I wish there's a How-To guide I can offer you. And even if I did have one... Well, you know how it is in this business. That's just not going to work for all cases.

Only advice I can offer is give it time.

audio;

[notasaviour]

[Hey, he impersonated that voice for a whole day once. Except he might have been impersonating a Skrull impersonating Dr Pym, because there's nothing quite like the whole Skrull thing to make everything confusing.]

I guess it's one of those things most people are going to go through, in heroing.

Thanks. I'll... try.

text

[eyelineronpoint]

it takes a lot of time. and you have to be willing to take responsibility for things you did, even if you didn't mean to do them.

text

[notasaviour]

Taking responsibility really isn't an issue. Time might be harder.

Video

[exsithstential]

I understand that someone... or something rather, digging around in your mind has a lasting feeling of terrible violation. But you need to accept that anything you were forced to do while under those effects were not your fault.

[His tone is emphatic and almost... paternal.]

Mental manipulation is like a sickness. And all you need to worry about is recovering.

Audio

[notasaviour]

It was as much my fault as anyone else's. It was me who hit them.

[And it's a good thing he always keeps his strength well under control, or people would probably be dead. They'd probably have ended up that way, if he hadn't been stopped.]

I'm not good at waiting to recover. Mostly because usually I don't have to.