maskormenace | ★ 007 | Video (Backdated to June 30th)

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★ 007 | Video (Backdated to June 30th)

[The camera is flicked on, already expertly focused. Josuke's doing, in case you wondered. But then, he's a teenager. He ought to be experienced if only for all the selfies he's taken!

Sitting next to him at a table outside an ice cream shop called What's the Scoop? is Hisoka. Unlike Josuke, the magician is busy with a gumball popsicle and doesn't appear to be paying any attention to the camera at the moment. The teenager, on the other hand, is already ready and eager to talk a little 'business' with the network...]

Okay, my friend and I had this amazing idea a while back! [Josuke throws an arm around Hisoka's neck and tugs him closer in a headlock. This involves you, buddy! Let the people see how amped you are!] See, we've been wanting to play some paintball, but then we got to thinking...why not make it an open invite? For imPorts, I mean.

[There's no jump at Josuke's sudden headlock but Hisoka definitely stops eating his ice cream to almost uncomfortably stare at the foreign limb slung over him. Only to then look down to see half of the popsicle he was eating now on the ground. Thanks Josuke.]

Mm... [A pause before he glances up to put in his two cents, just dropping the rest of his popsicle and the stick on the ground.]

An open invitation, yes, and we've already chosen the location. All you have to do is pick your own partner... or partners. It really doesn't matter how many of you there are. Though, to have the most fun? The more the merrier.

Yeah, and like, how many of you can resist an opportunity to pelt this guy in the face with paintballs, am I right? [Josuke nods in Hisoka's direction before sliding his arm off the other man's shoulders, though of course his smirk remains in place.] I'll be honest, though, 'cause I feel like it wouldn't be fair if I didn't warn you guys... Hisoka and I? We're gonna be on a team, so if you think we're gonna make it easy for ya, think again.

[Leaning forward to pick up the camera, Josuke cocks his head to the side, eyes bright with unbridled fun and mischief.]

If you're interested and you think you can keep up, then be ready for the 18th. Hisoka or I will text you the location the day before the game's on.

Oh...and one final thing. [Are you guys still listening? If you plan to play, you should be!] It's anything goes as long as it ain't lethal!

[And that's, as they say, that. Josuke hangs up, though not before a horrified yelp from the teenager can be heard...]

Fuck! Hisoka, I think you got ice cream on my new shoes!

[OOC: Quick edit! The post has been backdated to June 30th for scheduling reasons, and the date of the game itself has been moved to July 18th.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Whatever you think makes you look cooler, dude.

IM NOT TRYING TO LOOK COOLER

ugh nvermind u wouldnt understand

I think we're actually agreeing on something for once.

[god, Josuke's dad is such a weirdo. are all parents like that?]

...

look

i know we dont get along but josuke likes you (i think) and i know you wouldnt really do anything to hurt him right?

I'd rather jump on another bomb before I ever did that.

[for once she regrets communicating solely through text, because Hazel's not sure how serious she's being about this is getting through completely. she'd let them kill her for real if it meant keeping him safe, no hesitation.]

[...Another bomb? Okay, he'll need to ask about this one later. For now...]

hisoka... youve seen the way he looks at him sometimes. josukes too hardheaded to see it, but its the kind of expression someone makes when theyre really hungry and are about to eat a really good cheeseburger. you know what i mean, right? like hes a lion and josukes his prey and hes just having fun with him before he eats him.

so yeah youre right i am worried but not for me

i mean taking him out of a game isnt doing a whole lot

but learning how good a fighter he is without his powers is pretty useful

[...]

Is he that dangerous?

he was in jail for months for murdering people here

id consider that dangerous

[h-haha, hopefully killing people isn't his only criteria for dangerous, or there's some parts of Hazel's adventures from home she's going to bury even deeper...]

Yeah, that's. Not great.

He's already ticked off at me for power nulling, so I guess he might actually try and really take me out of the game. If he gets nuts you can just let it happen to see what he can do - it's not going to fuck me up any.

[HE'D BE IN TROUBLE WITH HIMSELF IF BEING A MURDERER WAS HIS ONLY CRITERIA...]

yeah you still have your weird cant-feel-pain thing right

im still freaked out by that tbh

but ok.

youre really not that bad hazel

Yeah. Anything he does to me, I can walk it off.

[he's not the only one freaked out by it, but she'd rather keep some of her cool points if she can.]

Be careful about saying stuff like that, though. This may be a private conversation, but I can still spread it around that you're not actually a gigantic asshole.

like anyone would believe you!! ive been a gigantic asshole for years saying one nice thing isnt going to take away from that

We must be meeting waaay different people, because I've been the most insufferable bitch in the world and apparently that doesn't change anything. One nice thing could totally ruin your street cred.

the problem is youre using josuke as your basis

hes too forgiving

like im totally awful

the worst dad ever

and he still likes me for some reason???

I'm not counting Josuke, I don't think he's actually real. One of us must have imagined him up with latent superpowers or something.

I have other friends. It's the most terrifying thing in the world, people shouldn't be that willfully gullible.

maybe it was me. hes my son after all. i probably imagined him up and now i have to take responsibility

maybe youre looking at it all wrong

maybe theyre using YOU and you just dont realize it??

Yeah, that'd make sense. And it also means I don't have to pony up for his college tuition, so even if it's wrong that's what we're going with.

What could they possibly be using me for? Migraines??? I don't contribute and I take things without asking and never give them back. It just doesn't add up.

ill totally pay for his college!! it cant be that bad right it was like a couple hundred last i checked.

[last he checked in 1930.]

damn.... man u really are a thief.....

Couple hundred human souls, maybe. I only went for a semester before I dropped out at home and I was still in the hole for like, eight thousand at least.

It's not my fault I need things for emergency purposes. If they didn't want it gone they should have held onto it better.

did anyone tell u u were being scammed

because u were being scammed

no way college is EIGHT THOUSAND

and thats really bad logic and this is coming from someone who poured mustard all over a guy once because he was pissing me off

even today im like 'why did i use mustard' but i just cant think of a reason why

Yeah, it's not eight thousand total, that's one semester. It's like 15-30k a year if you don't go somewhere pricy.

First of all, that's a really specific example what the fuck. Second, I guess you could stretch it and say honey mustard might have attracted bees and that would probably have sucked.

Or you were marinating him, but that has gross implications even for a guy like you.

lmao!! im not believing that bullshit hazel u can lie all u want but this is one of the worst ones yet.

it wasnt honey mustard tho it was just mustard im trying to remember why

it was close by?? it was like "the finishing touch" maybe?? i dont even remember it was like over a year ago now!!

Yeah? Pick any college and look up their tuition online. Go ahead, I'll wait. See what you're in for with your imaginary son's future.

So you 'finish' guys with mustard, huh? Well, that's something I didn't need to know about you ever.

im not gonna look it up NOW

what are you talking about?? i just beat him up and then i poured mustard on him what are you talking about

Now, later, whatever. The heart attack's in your future all the same unless he goes to trade school.

Hey, come on! That was the opposite of an invitation to keep talking about your fetishes.

★ 007 | Video (Backdated to June 30th)

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