001 | VIDEO | JOINT WITH bestever

[worstever]

[hey, network: did you need more dudes in massive armor? i think you did. he shifts, maybe uncomfortably? it's hard to tell, on account of the helmet.]

My name is Agent Washington. [okay, 'name' is pushing it, but he's already out of his comfort zone, here. this is clearly not a man who uses social networking in a non-business capacity.] Normally, I wouldn't do this, but "interdimensional kidnapping" seemed like an exception as far as asking stupid questions goes. I got the basic run-down from the soldiers at the teleporter installation, but I know better than to take a recruitment speech at face value. If anyone wants to fill in the blanks, it's more than welcome.

[yeah, that seems like a great introduction, wash, it's so devoid of personal information. PERFECT. church pipes up, loudly, from offscreen:]

"What, that's it? How about you try what the fuck is going on here, instead? I want some actual, you know, answers. When was the last time you got anything done by being polite?"

[wash just sort of.... ignores it... like he isn't even there.....]

Any help is appreciated. Washington out.

[blue team COs arrive together and get stuck going to the same apartment, and so, lucky you, network, you get double the jackass for the price of one. church might reply to toplevels, so BEWARE OF ASSHOLE.]

Comments

video;

[ursawhiner]

We're superheroes! Kind of. Looks like you guys have the suits figured out, at least.

permavideo;

[worstever]

[oh god, how old is this kid?? surely they're not recruiting children to fight crime?]

You know, as ludicrous as all of this is, being expected to be a superhero might take the cake.

Small mercies they aren't assigning us ridiculous costumes, too.

audio;

[bestever]

Pffft, that's putting it nicely. I don't think he actually knows how to take it off, anymore.

VIDEO

[maime]

[This is literally the first time in his two months here he's used anything other than the text function to communicate, because of course Wash is the exception to any and all rules of communicating with Maine.

The weirdest part for Wash might be that Maine's got his helmet off, and that he's no longer pale enough to pass for white, thanks to the lovely Florida sun. The rest of his armor he took the time to put out the moment he saw Wash on his communicator (which is the only reason he didn't respond absolutely immediately,) and now he's heading out the door of his apartment with his helmet under one arm.

The growling noise he makes has a pretty obvious meaning; Where are you? He's coming to wherever that is.]

TEXT;

[worstever]

[Oh fuck his life.

He's not even here a full day and he compromises himself, immediately broadcasts on what is CLEARLY an insecure channel and here comes one of the staples of his fucking nightmares, the hollowed-out puppet of one of the few people he's ever been close to. It's almost a parody. He would think it was a sick joke or a dream, if it wasn't Wash, and if he wasn't prepared for everything to be as shitty as possible at all times.

Wash is tense in every muscle, still processing that face, existing, alive. How long has it been since you've seen Maine's face, Wash?

His message back is the briefest possible text:]

Why?

[He's weighing his options: press for information and poke the bear, or go dark and immediately get gone.]

video;

[nagachika]

[Prepare to be greeted with a bright smile and the happiest of faces, Washington. Despite your anger and upset; he seems like one of those really annoying tour guides in one of those amusement parks you'd really rather not be in.

He does the cheery wave and everything.]

Calm down, come on. Sure, sure, being polite doesn't always get a guy where he needs to get going, but you know, from my experience, being rude and angry does nothing of the sort either, yanno? [Hi Mr. Washington, he's heard a bunch about u.]

I'll give you a run-down about anythin' you wanna know, I've been here since January, you know? This place isn't one that you should be angry or upset about, inter-dimensional kidnapping and everything aside.

PERMAVIDEO;

[worstever]

[Oh no!!! Wash is allergic to baldfaced optimism!!!!]

My problem, if anything, is that I'm not angrier about this. I really shouldn't have to be used to being kidnapped for other people's agendas.

video

[glitterateur]

[The helmet and armor get a kind curious look. It's summer fools! But Mabel's also wearing a sweater with a pink lion on the front so it's not like she can judge.]

There's no such thing as stupid questions when it comes to surprise superheroing! Though you should definitely try to be polite otherwise they'll throw you in the holding cells.

PERMAVIDEO;

[worstever]

[That sweater is adorable. Which, rather than cheering him up at all, is throwing more fuel on the "they're kidnapping innocent kids too" fire Wash has going on, here.]

The fact I can't tell if you're joking about the cells says something about our gracious hosts.

audio;

[bestever]

[drily:] Just holding? So that's a temporary solution, is that what you're telling me? What about the folks who are really rude?

text; comm tag is "Tadashi"

[tadeadshi]

Sounds like you've gotten some answers already.

[Sort...of...]

What other kind of help are you needing to start with?

PERMATEXT;

[worstever]

[He follows Tadashi's lead. It feels uneven to respond with video.]

Sort of.

I'm after things I can't research on my own. General import social atmosphere. Roughly how many people have been kidnapped, at what pace, any patterns.

Anything they've learned about why we're really here.

audio;

[bestever]

Pffft, if you call those answers.

I don't know! Not sticking me inside several hundred pounds of metal as soon as I got here would have been a great fucking start!

[darwinatrix]

I'm Major-General Olivier Armstrong. What you've been told isn't the best recruitment speech, but it's not wrong.

I've seen that style of armor before. You're a Freelancer?

[worstever]

[Maine must have figured staying covert didn't matter in a world where none of their usual antagonists exist. And, for him, everyone knows about the Freelancer scandal. Still sets him on edge, though, and it shows in his voice. But then again, pretty much everything sets him on edge.]

Yes, I was.

["Was" is telling.]

Then the question is what they aren't putting in the speech.

audio;

[bestever]

Aaaaugh, great. Who the fuck has been going around blabbing? What part of covert ops didn't get through their heads?

video

[airshow]

What, you've never been interdimensionally kidnapped before? Live a little.

PERMAVIDEO;

[worstever]

Kidnapped, yes, interdimensionally, can't say I have. [And he refuses to have fun.]

Seems like a lot of trouble to go to.

audio;

[bestever]

Oh, not internationally. [this is... probably not the word that he means.] He's not that important.

video

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Your first name is Agent?

PERMAVIDEO;

[worstever]

... I, uh. No. I misspoke.

[SO AWKWARD.]

It's my codename.

[ text ]

[enucleation]

They have some handy brochures that might help.

PERMATEXT;

[worstever]

Thanks. That was a lot more straightforward than most of the other answers.

video; ID: Marceline the Vampire Queen

[bassriff]

You got the right idea - don't buy what they're selling, dude. It's getting even sketchier lately.

[through a mouthful of... are those red gummy worms?? probably. Finishing those up, and jerking her thumb to point out of frame--]

That guy gets it.

PERMAVIDEO;

[worstever]

Try not to encourage him.

What kind of sketchy?

[chromatose]

[He should probably offer some kind of advice, having recently settled in himself, but Ludger can't help zeroing in on the very familiar armor. Huh.]

You an associate of Maine's?

[Might be a slim chance - space is pretty big after all - but it can't hurt to ask.]

[worstever]

Yes. He was -- is -- on my team.

[Still adjusting to that.]

Are you a friend of his?

video

[microbrobotics]

[ Have a bitty Japanese teenager who is eying your armor with a mixture between glee and analysis. ]

... Dude, that armor is amazing.

PERMAVIDEO;

[worstever]

Thank you? I mean, I didn't make it. I just wear it.

... although, considering how heavy it is, that might be an accomplishment of its own.

voice

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Dudes in massive armour. Not sure if robots or guys in armour. He thinks if he really wants to engage them. Then decides, fuck it. If they are he can hang up. If it's armour...

well...than that's cool.]

Soooo....I'm sure you got the whole "blah, blah, blah you have powers now and are stuck here" story, right? If that's the case, one question:

Are you people or robots?

[ Asking the hard questions since 2015. ]

audio;

[bestever]

One of each, actually. Though i feel obligated to tell you that those two definitely aren't mutually exclusive, thank you very much.