maskormenace | video - ID reads Wally West

What's the longest someone's ever been here? A few years or something, right? Four? Five.

[The camera goes all skewed when Wally sets his phone down nearby. He picks up a container of Hershey's chocolate syrup and empties it into an ice cream carton before reaching for a soup spoon to eat out of it.]

Y'know what's nuts? I bet someone could live a whole life here, if they never got Ported out. If it gets stabilized or something? Like, what if somebody showed up when they were like ten, and then they lived here for fifty years? They could have kids, grandkids. Graduate, get a job, maybe do the superhero thing if they felt like it. [Shakes up a can of whipped cream and sprays it into the carton.

...keeps spraying. Until. Until it's empty.]

You could totally have a whole dual life here. Would it be a dual life if it stops existing when you go back? -but yeah, you'd be on your deathbed and then you could decide, okay, that's enough, and get Ported back home and you're ten years old again and you live whatever life back home.

[huge spoonful into the mouth] 'N 'f y'think 'bout it, [swallow] isn't the life you forget just as important as the one you actually die in? I mean, just because you go back home and don't remember your friends, they still remember you. Or I dunno, maybe it stops counting if they forget you too.

But scientifically, I mean, it doesn't. Doesn't not-count. It counts, even if people forget, because it still exists in reality. That's the cool thing about the multiverse hypothesis- I guess it's not just a hypothesis anymore, knowing what we know about here. That there's infinite possibilities, and the only reason one doesn't exist is because it just hasn't been discovered yet. I mean, it doesn't matter if you subscribe to Tegmark's levels or Greene's types, it's all still the same, right? Possibility.

Holy crap, this is great ice cream. [He turns the carton to face the camera.] See that? "Red, White and Bugles." Whoever thought of putting chips in ice cream deserves a medal. [He turns the carton back on its side and scrapes out the last of it. ...and then pours more chocolate syrup on the spoon and licks it off his hand like a pig.] Mmmm.

Anyway. I started out with the point, but I can't-

Right.

Anybody else here never wanna go back home? I know there's some of you with crappy apocalypse worlds that don't have a whole lot to offer. Or what about staying here sixty years and then just going right back to where you left off? Sixty. I think I said fifty. Whatever, not important.

Get this ice cream, it's freakin' bomb.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[He'll get to the actual conversation in a minute just-- hold on]

I cannot believe you're eating that.

[ .... well ]

You already know my answer.

[ big far no nope not going back never nope. and it's not.. just cause she's dead there. that is certainly not the only reason why!! ]

Although all of this is interesting, [ she's circling her finger, signifying ALL THIS ] what you're saying here. I mean, it's certainly telling.

[ POINTED LOOK ]

It's ice cream, what's the problem?

Okay, one, chips in ice cream sounds freaking amazing. You've opened my mind to a world of possibilities here.

But anywho, sure, yeah. I actually kinda like it here, all things considered. Free room and board, lots of new people to meet, and so far no one's tried to hold the planet hostage or anything. I don't know what everyone's always complaining about.

About the ice cream? Tell me about it. It's actually crazy good, it's like putting waffle cone right into ice cream but only it's salty. You definitely need to try it, I think they only put it out for Independence Day.

Well, I mean. You're so old already, I'm not sure sixty years is a good idea for you. You'll be dust by then.

It's icecream with *potato chips*. There are some lines that shouldn't be crossed

You poor, sad soul. I'll educate you. I'll bring you one of those bitty little tasters on Wednesday.

Yeah, yeah, I know, everyone looks old when you're twelve, kiddo. Which, by the way, is a little young for an existential crisis, don'tcha think?

[ oh my god ]

I wasn't talking about the ice cream.

[ a beat ]

Although I don't think I like the sound of salty ice cream anyway. Wouldn't that get- [ she doesn't mean to, but she's kind of licking the roof of her mouth and then sticking her tongue out as she thinks about it ] - that sounds- not actually all that delicious. Chocolate syrup yes, salty chips no.

I'm not twelve? And I'm not having a crisis? [he didn't screech at that he's DEFINITELY having a crisis] What is with you knocking years and years off people's ages, is this some kind of reverse psychology thing you do to yourself to feel superior since you can't feel younger?

Sounds like something a friend back home would make which means I'm obligated to politely decline

[Wally you're sounding like Fred that's not good]

Oh my god nooooo no. No you don't understand. Have you ever heard of salted caramel? Sea salt taffy? Salty chocolate? Salty is actually really awesome with sweet, it's seriously the best. It makes it so much better.

Probably! Pretty dastardly, huh?

Don't be such a baby, at least try it. You can't call yourself a man if you won't even try new things.

Nnnope. [pops the P, just like bart does] Go buy that ice cream. It's totally a limited release.

Are you going to buy all the cartons up before any of us get a chance to?

[ There's so many other things he could say and yet he goes with that. Blame it on him legit wanting that ice cream now. Why put this food eating on the network. That's rude, Wally. ]

They all technically exist before they're discovered. The multiverses, not the cartons of ice cream. You just don't know about them or of them until you're in them or hear about them from someone who's been in them/seen them. But they exist with the people in them. You didn't just will them into existence through discovery.

[ Actually. No, now that he's thinking about it. ]

What if living here for that long would let you remember when you went back? I mean— it's easier to forget a few years than a few decades.

Pretty sure I can. [WHO'S 21 NOW AS OF TODAY? THIS GUY.]

What happened to all the gross stuff I brought back for you?

I ate it? I ate the edible stuff. It was nasty.

Wally, thank you

You've given me a mission. I'm going to find something you won't eat somehow

Maybe I will. Maybe I'll do that right now. ... Yeah, I'm gonna.

[ He is, in fact, turning off the half-hour blender infomercial he was deeply absorbed in and getting off his couch, all without turning the comm off. He does switch to private, though. ]

Seriously, though, what's the deal with the "anybody else," huh, West? Don't tell me you're getting ideas about settling down here.

Uh no, they don't exist until they're discovered because- because Schrodinger, that's why.

I dunno, I didn't wanna make it too complicated. I guess it'd be weird if you're a sixty-year-old man in a ten-year-old's body. But you'd totally be really good at just about everything.

Not gonna happen, dude. I guarantee it.

I've had taffy before, but I don't think it was salty. And I think it's different with ice cream, since it's cold. Aren't the chips just- frozen? [ ehh ] I am not at all adventurous with my food, you know this. I'm just going to have to take your word for it.

So why don't you want to go home anymore?

[ totally not what he said, but she's going for the topic change okok ]

Not like I've got a choice right now anyway, right? It's all up to the Porter and whoever keeps screwing with it.

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video - ID reads Wally West

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