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[hostage]

[This post goes up very shortly after Jesse comes out of his catatonic state, on the evening of the 23rd. He's a little frenzied, a little wild-eyed and panicked, but he has to know he didn't imagine all of it. There has to be someone else who saw it, too.]

Did anybody - Did anybody else just get back? I mean, like... Were any of you guys ported out, too? To the future, or whatever it was. I can't be the only one. I mean, I saw some of you there. It was De Chima, right? We were just in De Chima? But our bodies got left behind here, I guess. I dunno. What was it? Was it a dream, or... Like, did we seriously just see the future? Because I think that's what it was. I think that was the future. I wasn't alone. I mean, I know I wasn't alone there.

...Right?

Comments

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie wears a little smile at that, mostly one of relief. Even if Jesse is mainly humoring her, it just puts her at ease that he's eating. ]

So... What did you see? In the future, I mean.

[hostage]

...I don't wanna scare you.

[nohalfway]

Jesse.

I think I can handle it.

[hostage]

[Of course she can. She's lived through one apocalypse already. It makes him sick to think about, though.]

It isn't fair.

[His voice cracks when he says that. The future he just saw isn't the one he envisioned for them. This world was supposed to be the one where he and Joel and Ellie could live better lives than the ones they escaped from.]

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie frowns at that. She can sort of get an idea, based on the tone of his voice. ]

What isn't fair?

[hostage]

It's all just a lie. This whole thing... Us being heroes. They're just using us. And someday, we're not even gonna have a choice anymore.

[He turns his hand over to look at the tattoo on his wrist.]

We're not even soldiers to them. We're just things.

[nohalfway]

[ She falls silent, her expression going cold, yet placid when Jesse goes on to explain exactly what she expects him to say. Of course this whole thing has been a game, a ploy. Isn't that what life is? Isn't that what government is? ]

[ But she can see completely why it terrifies and upsets Jesse. In fact, it sort of upsets her too, but there's a mental block there. Something that keeps her from panicking and going straight to just feeling... Numb. ]

[ She makes a heavy exhale through puckered lips, sputtering through them. ]

I could have predicted that much.

[ Maybe it's Joel rubbing off on her? Because she's certain he'd say the same thing. ]

[hostage]

I've been ready for it. I mean... Everything I've done, it's all just to get ready for when they turn on us.

But it's one thing to expect it, and another thing to see it. You know?

I guess I just... I just hoped it wouldn't be like that. Like I was being paranoid. Like I was wrong about it.

[nohalfway]

The way I see it? It's better to be skeptical about the things going on around you. That way, it doesn't hurt as much when they turn around and show their true colors.

[ She shrugs. ]

Back home? If I hadn't been carted across the country to be delivered to the Fireflies? By the time I turned sixteen, they would've thrown me in a uniform with a rifle to kill anyone I was ordered to.

Or I would have wound up as a Firefly.

You know. If I never got bit. Then I would have just been killed. Or turned into one of those things.

[ She leans back on the couch, hand tugging at her right sleeve. Her scar always seems to burn when she thinks about these things. ]

At least we have a warning. I mean, that's basically what it is, right?

[hostage]

[Jesse casts a miserable look to her. It pains him to hear her talk like that. Why has this sweet little girl had to live through so much bullshit? Why the hell can't he give her the life she deserves?]

Yeah...

[He's not sure what to do with this warning, though. Proceed as planned? Move forward with preparations for the eventual resistance? But someone like him isn't made to lead a rebellion. The only thing going for him is his money, and his ability to keep making it. In the future he just witnessed, they're going to need someone a lot stronger than him.]

[nohalfway]

[ She catches that look, and god, it's painful to look at. It's painful because she's getting a glimpse of how people must have felt when the outbreak hit. People who never had to worry about whether or not tomorrow might not ever happen, people who didn't know how to fight. Such a surreal and bizarre feeling that she can't quite grasp or even begin to understand. ]

[ So, regardless of the lack of empathy for the future? She tries a smile. It's made only for Jesse, and her attempt at optimism is made only for Jesse. She's also always been good at it; being optimistic. ]

You know what? That's a fucking blessing.

[ She shrugs. ]

Just means that we fight. We've got it good now, we have the resources. That's more than anyone can ever say.

[hostage]

[He appreciates her smile. God, he lives for that smile. Does she know that?]

I wanted a future where you'd never have to fight.

[nohalfway]

[ Ellie scoffs. ]

So what's this then?

[ She gestures at the dorm as a whole, tugs at her clean clothing that Jesse and Joel had been responsible buying for her here. ]

I'm already better off. If that changes in a few years? At least I had a chance.

I mean, I get why you're down, but how can you possibly be surprised? Look at how we were fucking brought here.

[hostage]

I'm not surprised. That's the problem. Everything turns out exactly like I thought it would, and I wanted to be wrong.

[nohalfway]

So what's stopping you from fighting?

You're not exactly weak, Jesse. I know what you're capable of.

[hostage]

[He looks at her again. In ten years, she'll be his age. With her powers, she'll be forced to do the things he just experienced. She'll be living the exact life he just had a taste of, if not even worse. They'd force her to tear herself apart the same way he had to.

She has so much more faith in him than he has in himself, but he's sure of one thing:]

I'm never gonna stop fighting. I'll never let them take you, Ellie. I'll kill every last one of 'em if I have to.

[nohalfway]

[ She gives him another smile. Ellie's perfectly aware of the impact of one, especially to someone as dedicated and passionate as Jesse. While she's not sure what he saw, what he went through, she can gather that it was enough to spook him and make him rethink his whole life here. ]

You've got way too big a heart, you know that?

[ Ellie reaches out for him, hand resting on his wrist and staying there. ]

I'll fight right beside you. I know you wouldn't want me to, I know you'd do all you can to shelter me from pretty much anything. But if it came down to it?

You know I'd kill for you too. It's what us survivors do for each other.

[hostage]

[She's right: He doesn't want that promise from her. But he won't rebuff her.]

I love you, Ellie.

[It probably doesn't need to be said. He just feels the need to say it, anyway.]

[nohalfway]

[ Those are... Bold words. Words that Ellie is absolutely not used to being told to her, and words that she honest to god has never prepared herself to hear. She blinks, stares blankly at him a while, and her mouth goes partially agape. ]

I--

[ Jesus, how do you not awkwardly respond to that? Not that she doesn't feel the same way, just... Wow, the thought of those words almost sounds as weird as it does saying it. ]

Shit.

I love you too, Jesse. Seriously.

[hostage]

[His lips twitch into a little smile. He didn't think he'd catch her so off-guard.]

That wasn't a surprise, was it?

[nohalfway]

Um.

[ Her shoulders hike up a tad, face shifting away from Jesse. There's a smile there, crooked and awkward, but genuine. ]

I can... Definitely say I've never been uh.

Told that before. From anyone.

[hostage]

[It doesn't exactly shock him that Joel hasn't said the words, but it's still overwhelmingly sad. Ellie deserves to know how much people care about her.]

I'll have to say it more often.

[nohalfway]

[ This is so weird. It's a strange mixture of being flattered, happy and... Slightly uncomfortable? She's not even sure what to call it. Ellie rubs under her nose and at the side of her face, unable to really look Jesse in the eye for the moment. ]

Bah--

[ She jabs at his shoulder, still not facing him. ]

That's so... Gross. You're gross.

[ "But okay. Yes. You should. All the time." <- direct translation ]

[hostage]

[Jesse snorts. Aw, he embarrassed her.]

I'm done, I promise.

[He picks up his sandwich and takes another bite.]

[nohalfway]

Yeah, shut up and eat that sandwich, Pinkman.

[ Because she worked VERY HARD on it. ]

Don't be telling Joel any of that because he might kill you.