3 - text

[lackey]

hey ppl . ppl i kno & ppl i dont kno. havnt said hey 2 evrybody in a long time. sry bout that. rly should say hey more ofen. just dont usualy have anything else 2 say u kno ? like u cant just b like

hey

& then put that on the net

ppld b like wat ?
cant just say hey dude
gotta say sumthin else

&thats my prob. nuthin else 2 say. xcept 2day ! 2day ive been here 1 yr. 1 yr minus 1 month. hopin i dont lose dec this yr. i like dec. gonna b my kids 1st bday in dec. still dont kno if kids a boy or girl. if gov decides 2 give xmas presents 2 imports mayb they could send sum info getin god machene 2 my world 4 me. get that info. a dads gotta kno u kno. but id setl 4 just getin 2 see dec. not picky.

anyway other stuff. lost my phone thing 4 a wile there. thoght sumbody stole it. but then i found it undr my new bed. doesnt mean it wasnt stoln. sumbody or sumbodys like a group of ppl ( & im not sayin the gov i mean more like a bunch of rusians go usa ) coulda taken it & checkd whats on it & then put it back. mayb a group of ppl do that w / all the phone things. wile ur sleepin or w / ur girl or guy or w /e . ( im still sayin rusians not gov ) ( rly sneeky rusians )

guess thats all 4 now. nice 2 meet u newer not here 4 1 yr minus 1 month ppl. im mike. i kno it says that on my mesages but i still like sayin it.

And to keep people from thinking my brain is quitting on me here is me typing normal and using the spell checker.

( takes 4ever 2 txt like that )

Comments

voice;

[brushoff]

Oh my god, use vowels.

text;

[lackey]

noooooooo
that enuf vowls ?
o is a vowl rite ? prety sure its a vowl

permavoice

[brushoff]

You type like a fourteen year old girl.

permatext

[lackey]

whats ur point ?

[brushoff]

My point is that, if I'm not mistaken, you're a grown-ass man. Please at least type like one.

[lackey]

dude. ok. listn. or read. im not wastin my time typin everythin out 2 make sum dude w / a stick up his ass happy. unles that dude wants 2 pay me. u wanna pay me dude ?

[brushoff]

Of course not. All I'm saying is that you look like an idiot. I'm sure this phone has predictive text or something like that, go find and use that.

[lackey]

autocorect makes dum mistaks. puts in words u dont mean & ppl get confusd.

[brushoff]

[ said in a tone like he's explaining things to a five year old ] That's why you proofread.

[lackey]

hey lets play a game. im thinkin of 2 words. gues wich 2.

[brushoff]

If it's "fuck off," I'm sure you're more creative than that.

[lackey]

damn. ur good.

[brushoff]

It's part of my superpowers. Either that or my sparkling personality.

[lackey]

must b a power then.

[brushoff]

And I was going with sparkling personality!

[lackey]

ur sparklin gotta tell ppl how much their typin sux prsonality ? no dude no. im sry but no. or mayb ! like if ur havin a shit day & ur just like yea gonna take it out on this guy i dont kno. everybody has shit days. i have alot of shit days. i dont take it out on other ppl tho got other ways of dealin. u need other ways of dealin dude ?

[brushoff]

[ paaaaaaause ]

You see, this is why I told you to get spellcheck, I think I've strained a few brain cells just trying to parse all this out.

[lackey]

drugs

[brushoff]

Depends on the drugs. I'm not touching coke again, I had a very bad trip one time.

[lackey]

yea ? how bad is vry bad ?

[brushoff]

[ the coke was demonically possessed. this was a thing that actually happened in canon ]

Well, I ended up trying to throw myself off my balcony and had to be talked down by the guy I had just slept with...and this was after the same batch of coke killed two of my coworkers.

It wasn't my proudest moment.

[ pause, frown, think ] Oh, there were hallucinations involved as well.

[lackey]

jesus. fun. whatd they cut that coke w / ?

[brushoff]

Demons. [ said 100% seriously. ]

[lackey]

demons. ground up demons ?

[brushoff]

Hell if I know. All I know was that it spoke to me.