3 - text

[lackey]

hey ppl . ppl i kno & ppl i dont kno. havnt said hey 2 evrybody in a long time. sry bout that. rly should say hey more ofen. just dont usualy have anything else 2 say u kno ? like u cant just b like

hey

& then put that on the net

ppld b like wat ?
cant just say hey dude
gotta say sumthin else

&thats my prob. nuthin else 2 say. xcept 2day ! 2day ive been here 1 yr. 1 yr minus 1 month. hopin i dont lose dec this yr. i like dec. gonna b my kids 1st bday in dec. still dont kno if kids a boy or girl. if gov decides 2 give xmas presents 2 imports mayb they could send sum info getin god machene 2 my world 4 me. get that info. a dads gotta kno u kno. but id setl 4 just getin 2 see dec. not picky.

anyway other stuff. lost my phone thing 4 a wile there. thoght sumbody stole it. but then i found it undr my new bed. doesnt mean it wasnt stoln. sumbody or sumbodys like a group of ppl ( & im not sayin the gov i mean more like a bunch of rusians go usa ) coulda taken it & checkd whats on it & then put it back. mayb a group of ppl do that w / all the phone things. wile ur sleepin or w / ur girl or guy or w /e . ( im still sayin rusians not gov ) ( rly sneeky rusians )

guess thats all 4 now. nice 2 meet u newer not here 4 1 yr minus 1 month ppl. im mike. i kno it says that on my mesages but i still like sayin it.

And to keep people from thinking my brain is quitting on me here is me typing normal and using the spell checker.

( takes 4ever 2 txt like that )

Comments

text;

[chancetoatone]

[There isn't a response immediately, he's taking time to translate this.]

What is "xmas"? [He knows what Christmas is, academically anyway.]

I hope you can learn soon.

[lackey]

hey u ! xmas. christmas. ppl holiday in dec thats all bout dresin up trees & houses in lites & pets & kids in ugly sweters. everybody gives presents 2 each other. theres sum other shit 2 like a big guy in a red suit w / flyin deer but. mostly its bout the presents.

my kid was suposed 2 b born on xmas. joked hed b ndn jesus but cant b that if hes a she. rly would like 2 find out boy or girl. mayb name 2.

u got any ur ppl holidays u celebrate ?

[chancetoatone]

Ah, yes. Christmas. A human holiday celebrating the birth of a god, I believe. I've heard of it, though not its celebration. Dressing up a tree? What is the point of the ugly sweaters?

I'm sorry to hear you missed the birth of your child.

There is the Great Pilgrimage, and the coming of the rains. We have feast days dedicated to the gods.

[lackey]

kid of a god yea. lot of ppl r into it. idk whats up w / the trees & sweters. idk if anybody knos whats up w / em or if they just do those things cuz everybodys been doin em for so long theyr just like ok. tradishun.

rain comin & feast days 4 gods i get. whats this pilgrim one ? doesnt have anything 2 do w / turkeys does it ?

[quantifies]

Amazing. I almost did not believe it was still you typing when I read that.

[lackey]

u wanna kno a sekret ? cours u do everybody likes sekrets. i didnt type that part. i paid sum1 else 2 do it. i found a dude who just rites normal 4 ppl & i hired him & now he folows me round. i pay him $ 5 4 every time i need normal txt ritin !

[quantifies]

Bah gropa. That is not a sensible investment. you may soon run out of money.

[lackey]

i could always start 1 of those things where ppl give $$$ to a good cause ?

permatext

[deadtective]

Oh shit, it's you! Hey! I totally thought you died when you stopped sitting on my shit in random ass cafes.

[she did not, but what good is the truth when you're making friendly jokes?]

[lackey]

its me ! im alive ! im surprisd bout it 2 sumtimes. i got a demon 4 a roomie a wile back & he was doin weird demon shit. sumtimes naked. had 2 get out of that house b4 it turned into hellhouse & i ended up sacrifised or sumthin.

[deadtective]

Yeah, that kind of supernatural bullshit's the kind of thing you just want to get the fuck away from before it explodes. The way things usually go you'd probably have had a portal to the nether realms in your basement before too long.

[lackey]

thats what I thoght ! basment portal comin soon. feel sorry 4 the neybors. probly shoulda left em a note.

" move the fuck out or buy alot of croses good luck "..

but hey ! how r u ? u ever find a job ?

text;

[cartesianspidertank]

did u hav alot of secret stuff on ur phone??

wat wud the rusians want wit it?

[lackey]

no not rly ? but they wouldnt kno that. probly got 2 check everybody. 4 sekret stuff. war stuff or w / e. or mayb theyr targetin ppl 4 resons. idk.

[cartesianspidertank]

do u no any1 else that's had their phone taken?

[lackey]

no but i dont hang w / many imports. sum ppl might have had em go misin & not said anything or not noticd if the theves were extra sneeky.

voice;

[brushoff]

Oh my god, use vowels.

text;

[lackey]

noooooooo
that enuf vowls ?
o is a vowl rite ? prety sure its a vowl

permavoice

[brushoff]

You type like a fourteen year old girl.

text; private

[kingpawn]

[ Some people might write Mike off as paranoid. And those people would be right, but! Walt can understand this paranoia because there's a very real possibility that.... ]

Do you think it was our former colleague?

text; private

[lackey]

[Mike hadn't even considered the possibility that it might have been their former colleague. Shit.]

I don't know. Maybe ? He did call me a couple weeks ago. Looking for you. Told him to fuck off..

[Decent typing for the boss, no matter how long it takes.]

text; private

[kingpawn]

Really? He was looking for me?

[ Which means Chilton told him he was missing. Which means Chilton had sent Abduxel after him. That bastard. ]

You did the right thing, Mike. And now let me do the right thing for you. If you need to lay low, I have a place.

[cephalothorax]

What do you mean you "lost" December?

[lackey]

last dec went misin 4 me. it jumpd from nov 2 jan just like that. ( u cant hear it but i snapd my fingrs when i said just like that. )

[cephalothorax]

...you mean you ported out? But... you didn't return home.

That must be offputting. Almost as offputting as having one's belongings go missing and then turn up under one's bed.