maskormenace | 002. Video

[Have a rather sleep mussed Andrew Warner broadcasting himself to the network guys. His hair in a great state of disarray and he clearly hasn't crawled out of bed just yet if the pillow behind his head is anything to go by. Its early in the afternoon and he should be in work, but he probably should have been in work a lot over the last few weeks but he just stopped going.

There's a wide grin before he starts speaking in a grumbly voice.] Hey super-people! [Yeah he really did just say that. Because he was equal opportunities between superheroes and villains.] So uh, I figure I've been here kinda like a month now? Been a full cycle at least an' I'm havin' a total blast there's just one tiny thing.

[He flops back onto the pillows like he was having a conversation with a good friend rather than an entire country of people.] Where's the fun? I mean there's gotta be bars in this place, clubs, that kinda crap? This wolf has a cravin' for some place up-beat where I can shake what the good lord gave me. Any suggestions would be amazin' and y'never know, maybe we could call it a date?

[Shameless. Utterly shameless. He can't even get drunk but that won't stop him from making an ass of himself on some kind of dancefloor. Give him suggestions, good imPorts far and wide.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, I'm not judging. I am practically irresistible.

I'm pretty sure 'm gonna find my reasons to resist, but for right now I'll just go ahead an' agree that you're pretty damn hot.

Oh, I like you. I might keep you around.

Well I'm kinda related to man's best friend so I wouldn't exactly blame y'for it. [Although he is pretty pleased with the turn out of things.]

[Always pays to hang around people who think you're hot. It's good for the ego. Not that Jeff's ego needs anymore pandering too.] You ever want a job as a PA, you let me know.

[He snorts.] Unless this is the kinda PA job where I put on a shirt an' a pair of glasses an' we get down to some kinky shit on a desk instead of me actually workin'... I'm gonna have to refuse.

Nah, I'm thinking more like a PA job where you arrange my life for me so I don't have to, and then spend most the day complimenting me on my awesomeness. [Because that's what PAs do right?]

That sounds like a hell of a lotta work. Y'should see my life an' you'd totally reconsider wantin' me to organize yours. [Seriously though, you should see his bedroom never mind his life.]

I dunno, I kinda just liked the sound of someone constantly telling me how hot I am.

Hell I can still do that without ever workin' for ya, dude.

In that case, I've found my new drinking buddy. Congrats.

Well damn, this come with a special kinda prize or anythin'?

Me buying you a single drink once a month. The rest of the time you're buying them for me.

One drink a month? Dude that don't exactly sound like a perk... I mean I could probably get through my end of things considerin' I work in a bar so free drinks ain't exactly hard but I feel like I'm gettin' the rough end of things.

Fine. My company. Isn't that enough?

Okay maybe, maybe that's good enough. But you better have one hell of a revealin' wardrobe.

Nah, no assless chaps or string vests here, sorry.

[Pauuuuse though, because that does give him an idea.]

You like shopping? Spa days?

Well damn, not even like... a jockstrap or thong lyin' around the place?

[He's grinning because he's a little shit but before too long he's scratching his head.] Shoppin' is somethin' I'm a fan of, not that I always hav e the cash to throw around. But a Spa? Now that's somethin' I ain't ever been to.

[Just shaking his head, because no ty, no jockstraps and thongs for you.]

Well, sounds like we need a guys days out. Shopping and spa. At least get you a massage.

Well damn, another strike. [Because fuck you, he'd have liked something like that Jeff.]

What really, that's a thing? I mean, there I was thinkin' I was the gay guy.[He's just gonna look at you funny before grinning.] First of all, you offerin'? An' does it come with a happy endin'? [He's such a little shit.]

The idea that only gay men take care of themselves is pure bullshit. [Jeff spends more time on his looks than virtually anyone, but that's narcissism for you.] And yes, I will pay for your massage, no, I'm not giving it personally.

Dude I wasn't even talkin' about gay guys versus straight guys I've just never met any dude who suggested goin' for a spa day. [Because he was a big old country boy.] Well fine, I guess that's as good as anythin'.

Seriously? You've never met one. Well, now you have, and i can assure you this kind of regime will change you life. A guy's gotta take care of himself. [Because Jeff has every kind of treatment going. Gotta stay pretty.]

[He blinks a couple of times.] Okay so you're high maintenance? Gonna file that away for later, just in case. [Except he's totally on board with this.] It uh, sounds kinda nice.

Totally high maintenance. The highest of maintenances. [Not even ashamed.] You gotta try it. Days like that are amazing. Just time to be selfish and treat no one but yourself.

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