003 | video

[textualhealing]

[It's video time with Jeff! Why can't he just do text like normal people, you ask? Because then the world wouldn't be able to see his beautiful face, duh. He's at his desk, lounging like a pro with a full glass of scotch held at eye line, managing to look somewhat thoughtful as he keeps his narrowed eyes on the alcohol before him.]

I went home like a month ago. Did one of those away for a day, lived a year things. Kinda makes you wonder what game the Porter's playing with crap like that, some weird ass brand of temptation and torture all in one.

So, real talk here, imPorts... If we all got told they didn't want us any more, that we got 24 hours to decide whether to go home or stay here forever, what would you do? Is what you built up here enough to keep you? Or are you just gonna be counting down the hours to get back and see those you left behind?

Pretty deep stuff, huh?

[He finally looks to the camera, just starting to reach to turn it off, before...]

Oh! And uh, season one of my show is drawing to a close soon. I know you've all been watching it avidly. Gotta start considering my options for next season, so wanna guest star? Got ideas? Wanna be in the crew? Hit me up. Time to make season two even better than the first. [And he's out, with a final, winning smile.]

Comments

[lackey]

They are assholes. [Sniff.] Think it'd be a very fittin' animal for you.

[textualhealing]

[Rude.] You're the one licking your own balls and shitting on lawns.

[lackey]

[Just laughing here. Guilty as charged.]

So, anyway... I've been thinkin' about your offer.

[textualhealing]

[Pause.]

Yeah?

[lackey]

Sure.

[textualhealing]

Like. Sure you'll do it? Or sure you were thinking about it?

[lackey]

Sure, I'll do it. But only part-time.

[textualhealing]

Seriously?! [There's a hint of relief there, maybe even eagerness.]

I can just let you know when I need you, right?

[lackey]

Yeah, I guess we can do it like that.

[textualhealing]

Or I can give you a more solid schedule. If you want. I don't know what works best around your busy life of peeing on posts and ripping up mail.

[lackey]

I'm cool with that, too. My other jobs are pretty flexible... like, as far as what hours I gotta be workin' 'em go.

[textualhealing]

What changed your mind?

[lackey]

Does it matter?

[textualhealing]

I'm curious whether it was my winning smile or my unwavering charm.

[lackey]

[Okay, Mike, you can do this. Just take a deep breath and...]

It was your charm.

[textualhealing]

[It's a good thing this is voice because Jeff is grinning so much.]

Knew it! You wanna go grab some drinks again?

[lackey]

[Such a good thing this is voice.]

No. ... I mean, you know, like... maybe some other time? I've got all this stuff to do. So. That's what I'm gonna do. That stuff.

[Heavy drugs and maybe he can find a hole to crawl into.]

[textualhealing]

[Neither of those are excuses!]

What sort of stuff? Maybe I can help.

[Not gonna help, but he is all over calling Mike's bluff, kthx.]

[lackey]

[Dammit.]

Uh... Well... I... uh... I can't tell you. Because it's secret. It's secret stuff.

[textualhealing]

Secret stuff, huh? So secret that you can't tell a buddy?

[They are buddies now, so says Jeff.]

[lackey]

[Let's just revisit that such a good thing this is voice point, shall we.]

Yep. That secret.

[textualhealing]

[:D?]

Guess I'll just go by myself then. But you're definitely coming out tomorrow.

[lackey]

What if I'm... busy with my secret stuff for a few days?

[textualhealing]

Not possible. I need you tomorrow. For drinking. I need security while I drink.

[And by security he means company.]

[lackey]

[Pause.]

You could get a gun?