maskormenace | 003

[It's video time with Jeff! Why can't he just do text like normal people, you ask? Because then the world wouldn't be able to see his beautiful face, duh. He's at his desk, lounging like a pro with a full glass of scotch held at eye line, managing to look somewhat thoughtful as he keeps his narrowed eyes on the alcohol before him.]

I went home like a month ago. Did one of those away for a day, lived a year things. Kinda makes you wonder what game the Porter's playing with crap like that, some weird ass brand of temptation and torture all in one.

So, real talk here, imPorts... If we all got told they didn't want us any more, that we got 24 hours to decide whether to go home or stay here forever, what would you do? Is what you built up here enough to keep you? Or are you just gonna be counting down the hours to get back and see those you left behind?

Pretty deep stuff, huh?

[He finally looks to the camera, just starting to reach to turn it off, before...]

Oh! And uh, season one of my show is drawing to a close soon. I know you've all been watching it avidly. Gotta start considering my options for next season, so wanna guest star? Got ideas? Wanna be in the crew? Hit me up. Time to make season two even better than the first. [And he's out, with a final, winning smile.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Chilton proceeds to zoom the camera to focus in on his eyes.

Big Brother style.]

[Just this face and a tiny wave. :D]

[Zooms out, so Jeff can properly see how much Chilton is frowning.]

Perhaps next time offer a sympathetic ear under encryption.

You're just upset I called you old and dumb.

The upset is justified, as I am neither old nor dumb -- I'm approximately the same age as you, and you do not keep the company of dumb individuals.

This is when I would insinuate that you're lacking as an argumentative lawyer, but I noticed that Raina is talking about Loki for no logical reason.

Yeah. It's tough to talk logical with you and your girlfriend.

That is most definitely not what I said.

But you did insinuate Raina isn't logical. That's pretty harsh, dude.

You are paddling in a shallow creek, Jeff. I rather insinuated that anyone's fervor for Loki is, but nature, not rational.

Chaos god and all. But I can see why you might pursue to spin the commentary, you seem like a Loki fan.

Bullshit. I'm like the least chaotic guy here. [He might even manage to say that with a straight face one day.]

Very funny. But in all honesty, I wouldn't downplay that part of you. The ladies you attract seem to like it.

And perhaps some of the fellows, too.

I know right, my fan base, dudes and ladies, love some drama. Maybe I need to stage a scuffle on the next series or something. You wanna offer up your face for a punch, Fred?

Why not punch above your weight class? People love an underdog. Try Lucifer.

Nah, think I'll pull a Bale here and say he and I are done professionally. We did our crossover. That's all we needed from each other.

Everyone seems to be leaving Lucifer. Except Crane.

It's hard to leave him when I was never actually dating him in the first place.

Well obviously, even you have better taste than that. But you sure were close to him.

Frederick, I'm close with everyone. It's kind of my thing.

[Literally just this right now. Especially appropriate with Walt. DOHOHO CHEMISTRY JOKES.]

[A quick head tilt follows, and -- well. Jeff isn't wrong.]

Fair enough. One might consider it a sneaky superpower, if you hadn't already possessed it coming in.

Maybe it is a sneaky superpower. Maybe I'm actually a 400lb shapeshifter who has you all fooled.

[Beat.]

Would you still like me then?

I don't see why I wouldn't. You would still be the man who's in equal parts soft and sarcastic towards me, wouldn't you be?

[Oh. Acceptance for something other than the way he looks? That can't be right, can it?! Awkward squinting ahoy.]

Sure. I guess. Soft would be a pretty accurate word for that example. [Because, y'know, fat.]

[Squints back, if only because he's being squinted at.]

We have reached agreement -- a milestone in the context of our relationship.

That if either of us were fatties we'd still talk? That's not exactly a milestone.

Context, context. Would you hold the same sentiment for a mere acquaintance?

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