003 | video

[textualhealing]

[It's video time with Jeff! Why can't he just do text like normal people, you ask? Because then the world wouldn't be able to see his beautiful face, duh. He's at his desk, lounging like a pro with a full glass of scotch held at eye line, managing to look somewhat thoughtful as he keeps his narrowed eyes on the alcohol before him.]

I went home like a month ago. Did one of those away for a day, lived a year things. Kinda makes you wonder what game the Porter's playing with crap like that, some weird ass brand of temptation and torture all in one.

So, real talk here, imPorts... If we all got told they didn't want us any more, that we got 24 hours to decide whether to go home or stay here forever, what would you do? Is what you built up here enough to keep you? Or are you just gonna be counting down the hours to get back and see those you left behind?

Pretty deep stuff, huh?

[He finally looks to the camera, just starting to reach to turn it off, before...]

Oh! And uh, season one of my show is drawing to a close soon. I know you've all been watching it avidly. Gotta start considering my options for next season, so wanna guest star? Got ideas? Wanna be in the crew? Hit me up. Time to make season two even better than the first. [And he's out, with a final, winning smile.]

Comments

[textualhealing]

Yeah, you got me. [There is no way he's referencing virtually anything he's seen in public.]

My abs aren't private knowledge though. Pretty much everyone has seen them. In fact, keep an eye out for next months Men's Muscle magazine and you'll see them aaaaaaaall over that. Yeah. I got to do a shirtless shoot. And yes I'll keep a copy aside for you, just don't get the pages stuck together.

[slightlyoffchilt]

One might wonder what I have done to deserve such generosity. One might wonder that publicly, and perhaps in the tabloids.

[textualhealing]

The tabloids love this kinda crap. It's good for business.

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Respected Psychiatrist Secret Revealed As Consort of Shirtless Television Star" is good for business?

[textualhealing]

Any publicity is good for business. Scandal is the best kind, keeps the gossip flowing.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You want to see me uncomfortable. That is what you want.

[textualhealing]

Well duh. If you're not weeping with embarrassment by the end of each meet up we have I get kind of disappointed.

[slightlyoffchilt]

But you wear disappointment so well. Is that a Winger tradition?

[textualhealing]

My whole life is a disappointment.

[slightlyoffchilt]

So, ah. "Bring double the alcohol to every social event" -- acceptable translation?

[textualhealing]

Why do you think I never leave the house without a bottle of scotch?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Is that so? And where do you hide it?

[textualhealing]

Hammer space alcohol is my super power. Duh.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You have an answer for everything, don't you?

[textualhealing]

Which is hilarious coming from you, of all people.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Maybe you should take it as a compliment. If I find you mirror my behavior.

[textualhealing]

Being like you is not a compliment.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Not simply a compliment, true. More akin to the compliment. The highest compliment.

You must be glowing.

[textualhealing]

Chilton, you're a snake in the grass. You can't compare the regality of something like a lion to a snake.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You're a lion now? Not a kudu? Then maybe you could court Gazelle, hopefully she takes note of this.

[He just wanted to use "kudu" in a sentence.]

[textualhealing]

Why the hell would I be a kudu?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You are rather horny.

[textualhealing]

God, that was awful, even by your standards.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Yet you are still speaking to me. Can't have been all that terrible.

[textualhealing]

[Pause.]

Bye then.