round 1 | video

[pummelling]

[As if his warm, unventilated, mascot-suited hero's welcome to Heropa weren't embarrassing enough, Kung Jin's also discovered that a certain someone has accidentally bewitched the local toilets.

Sentient, vengeful toilets. While employed at one of the city's busiest fast food joints. It's safe to assume that it's been A Day for him.

When he turns the video feed on, however, he's at his assigned housing and has managed to ease himself down to simmering hate as opposed to a rolling boil. He's clearly looking worse for wear: his clothes are damp and steadily dripping, but also... showing scorch marks in a few places. (That may or may not be a scrap of charred vinyl costume fused to his sleeve.) Jin takes to wringing his long ponytail out over his shoulder and addressing the network at large: ]

So, apart from Soviet toilets, what other all-powerful evils are we supposed to be fighting here? Not that I can't handle myself, but I'm a little overqualified for plumbing.

[A beat. He sniffs, drying his hands on his shirt.]

By the way, I'm new: I think I have the gist of this whole thing, but if there's anything else I should know, I'm all ears. [of course, he's scanned the brochure cover to cover, but that's no match for on-the-ground information if he can get it.]

Comments

text; (ID: Tank)

[maime]

[Maine's never really been one to help orient the new people unless he personally already knew them. (And even then he's not much help. That said;]

Soviet toilets?

text;

[pummelling]

[Give him a few while he washes his hands.]

I'm not 100% on whether they're correlated, but we're definitely here for the USSR. You knew that, right?

text;

[maime]

to fight them supposedly yes
don't see what that has to do with toilets

permatext

[deadtective]

With shit talk like that you're probably going to have to face off against the entire plumber's guild in a few hours.

[that is not the sort of all-powerful evil he was asking about, but this guy seems like the kind of person who can give and take a little sarcasm. and if not, well, that's fine too. Hazel has fun either way.]

[pummelling]

Toilet puns already?

And bring the plumbers on. After today I have some WORDS for them. All of them.

[deadtective]

I've been spewing obscenities way before the toilets decided to rise up against their creators. If anything they should be the ones changing their language.

You say that now, but I don't think you've ever seen a union in action. They're going to shove those plungers in some really uncomfortable places if you're not careful.

video

[khajidont]

...do the toilets also breathe fire? Seriously.

video

[pummelling]

Not them. Me.

[He holds up a palm and produces a short burst of flame that lasts a solid three seconds before flickering away. Way more impressive when it's not obvious how little control he has over it.]

Porcelain, apparently, doesn't stand up to rapid temperature changes. [~the more you know~]

video

[khajidont]

Oh. That sounds... messy.

[He hopes you flushed, man.]

Was your first reaction to toilet attacks to set it on fire? 'Cause it might just be me, but that seems counter-intuitive.

[ text ]

[bestversion]

in soviet russia, toilet owns you!

[ text ]

[pummelling]

[kamala pls]

good thing this is Florida or we would've gotten flushed, too

Re: [ text ]

[bestversion]

saved by florida.

text - ID reads Kid Flash

[runningstart]

crime mostly

you get missions sometimes but theres a general push to fight crime and stuff

text

[pummelling]

so I'm a glorified beat cop, is that what you're saying?

text

[runningstart]

in a colorful costume if you so desire

[enucleation]

Besides the brochure, you also have a FAQ, if you are interested.

[pummelling]

[Well, that's convenient.]

They should hand this out instead of that brochure. This is way more useful.

[enucleation]

It was created by imPorts, and doesn't try to get you to join the army. Maybe that's why it doesn't come along with the brochure.

video;

[aviate]

[Is he at their place and wet? What the hell did he do to their toilets?!]

Did you break it?

video;

[pummelling]

[casually nods at his new roomie....]

I don't like to leave loose ends. [but wait, it's probably important that he notes--] It wasn't our toilet, though, so you can relax.

video;

[aviate]

[Oh great they get a guy clearly prone to property damage. At least Hal only does that suited up.]

You haven't destroyed it, but has it come to life?

[Two, now three grown men and a teenager. It's not going to be that clean.]

video;

[angelfire]

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned me, yet, but that...that's a good look. What do you call that--a swirlytail?

video;

[pummelling]

Hilarious. I wouldn't quit the day job, though.

[wait, this guy's surprised to have not been mentioned?]

Why, were you expecting a shout-out?

( video. )

[desequilibre]

[ He's ignoring the toilet uprising as best as he can. It's not exactly a dignified conversation. ]

Crane, Lucifer, the people who brought us here and keep us hostage. You have no shortage of villains, Monsieur. You can take your pick.

video; private

[pummelling]

[Jin switches the feed to as private as he can (which, to be honest, isn't especially private) before responding.]

So we are hostages, after all. Care to elaborate?